tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post8663443109599265487..comments2024-03-26T15:29:51.944-04:00Comments on Just Be Real: CRITICAL WORDS CAN KILLJust Be Realhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15815210059310140144noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-70213730089221830502009-11-30T17:00:03.291-05:002009-11-30T17:00:03.291-05:00Good for you. Perhaps you should consider limiting...Good for you. Perhaps you should consider limiting the number of your mom's calls you will take in a week. Tell her you need to go, if she is inappropriate in the limited conversations, ignore the other calls. Don't tell her you have these boundaries. Show her. Protect yourself. If you visit an she is rude, tell her you have rememberd something has just come up and you must go (Your boundaries are in place! That is what is up). Honoring parents is not allowing them to be cruel to you. <br /><br />And you are changing. It takes time to feel as different as you will. Use your energy to pour into relationships that heal you and make you feel gklad to be alive. Stay away from the ones that kill your spirit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-35818525931874262342009-11-29T21:11:45.050-05:002009-11-29T21:11:45.050-05:00Yea for you!!!! Well done! You're setting gr...Yea for you!!!! Well done! You're setting great limits!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-16839523336126985042009-11-28T16:41:17.792-05:002009-11-28T16:41:17.792-05:00YEA! For JBR showing her voice! :-)
~ GracieYEA! For JBR showing her voice! :-)<br />~ GracieGracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00432157510458184788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-29363810893263956662009-11-28T03:07:07.348-05:002009-11-28T03:07:07.348-05:00Sweetie, you are so amazingly awesome. Listen to G...Sweetie, you are so amazingly awesome. Listen to God, He loves you dearly.Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09275456448997619944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-49041871059508430592009-11-27T23:53:39.819-05:002009-11-27T23:53:39.819-05:00Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. Se...Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. Setting boundaries is not being mean. It won't always feel that way as you get used to doing it. Boundaries are healthy. You are growing. Be proud of yourself. Expecting your mother to change at her age may be unrealistic. Just keep being firm with the new boundaries and feel better about yourself. <br /><br />My phone is paid for by me and just because someone calls doesn't mean I have to pick it up and answer it if it is someone that I don't want to talk to. I don't feel guilty about it either. Have a better day tomorrow.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-34422126211249547182009-11-27T23:38:26.589-05:002009-11-27T23:38:26.589-05:00It certainly sounds like you handled it with grace...It certainly sounds like you handled it with grace. I know from experience just how difficult it is to being setting boundaries with family members - Especially Moms!<br /><br />Keep fighting for it, though. I had to for my own recoveryWrapped up in Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18210700542140339831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-50517905464980293962009-11-27T21:48:20.987-05:002009-11-27T21:48:20.987-05:00Hey JBR, you did great setting boundaries and taki...Hey JBR, you did great setting boundaries and taking care of you....Your mother has no intention or motivation to change and someone has to change the 'dance' between the two of you. Yep...it's up to you. Hang in there. SarahNikki (Sarah)https://www.blogger.com/profile/13731200601840020130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-1772384642989432252009-11-27T18:49:42.736-05:002009-11-27T18:49:42.736-05:00Boundaries are good and at times we need to let ot...Boundaries are good and at times we need to let others knows that they are there...even our mom.<br /><br />Thank you for praying for my son.Tammyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15204911845335416211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-47042860039059087762009-11-27T18:41:35.381-05:002009-11-27T18:41:35.381-05:00I can understand completely how you must have felt...I can understand completely how you must have felt inside when your mother said those things to you, and by experience. My whole life I was the one that the family made fun of and always about my looks. I'm nearly 45 today and I am still and constantly worried about my looks even though I have had plenty of people tell me I'm "beautiful". But if you don't feel that way it doesn't matter how many people tell you. <br />Over the years I have gotten better about it, and only because of the Lord's love and grace. <br />Words can hurt , very deeply, and have many lingering effects. <br />Thank you for sharing with us and may God bless you always.<br />Take care my friend,<br />JulianAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-13025103098852367082009-11-27T15:59:39.278-05:002009-11-27T15:59:39.278-05:00Fantastic way to plant your feet, and say "No...Fantastic way to plant your feet, and say "No More"! Sometimes I wonder how people see themselves when they reply "I was only trying to be helpful"?? There is a world of difference between helpful and hurtful. Keep it up JBR!!WinnyNinny PooPoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13237156887425609665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-55741606911901496752009-11-27T14:18:36.860-05:002009-11-27T14:18:36.860-05:00Holidays can be really rough. Words from our past ...Holidays can be really rough. Words from our past can have lasting effects on us. We must replace those words with the words God has to say about us. You are a wonderful women that God is using daily to bless others. You mean so much to me. May God put His arms around you today and show you how special you are. ((((Hugs))))Wanda's Wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02823654163692296686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-90578702089983527932009-11-27T13:41:19.690-05:002009-11-27T13:41:19.690-05:00Thank you Lisa and Rcubes for your words of kindne...Thank you Lisa and Rcubes for your words of kindness and encouragement.Just Be Realhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15815210059310140144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-76713836137438679272009-11-27T13:33:55.318-05:002009-11-27T13:33:55.318-05:00I'm grateful you were able to speak up for you...I'm grateful you were able to speak up for yourself. It's okay to be honest with how comments make you feel. Good for you! Keep setting the boundaries and one day she will understand there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. <br /><br />May you feel God's encouragement and love in a special way today.<br /><br />Praying for you, sweet lady!Fliteraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02812392502505397393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-27345327147794604842009-11-27T13:32:01.030-05:002009-11-27T13:32:01.030-05:00I think we need to be assertive at times to confro...I think we need to be assertive at times to confront those who state bad remarks. Either they are not aware they are hurting someone's feelings or they are just plain tactless and rude! I'm glad you stood up for yourself! Not in a disrespectful way. But sometimes, they need a little dose of a positive criticism to douse the fire created by their negative ones. Way to go JBR! Like what you said, hope that's the end of it!!! God bless you.RCUBEshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03726426726039665564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-41675472837560527542009-11-27T13:14:21.026-05:002009-11-27T13:14:21.026-05:00Susan Deborah, thank you for your encouragement. ...Susan Deborah, thank you for your encouragement. Dean, appreciate your visit and comment. It can be hard to be "real" some times. The pain can be so unbearable. Being Me, I will certainly stick to my course. And grow stronger with each victory. Christina, thank you for your words.Just Be Realhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15815210059310140144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-16770665766241775372009-11-27T12:52:03.342-05:002009-11-27T12:52:03.342-05:00Dear One:
When situations like this arise, I thin...Dear One:<br /><br />When situations like this arise, I think what Jesus would have done. I just shut up and carry on. It can be difficult at times. Words especially. Proverbs has it all.<br /><br />Be strong and courageous. Our Lord is there with you.<br /><br />Joy always,<br />SusanS. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-16739386868049360902009-11-27T12:01:10.833-05:002009-11-27T12:01:10.833-05:00Thanks for visiting JBR.
I relate to some if not a...Thanks for visiting JBR.<br />I relate to some if not all you've been through, and of course non of us had 100% alike dark days, but darkness is/was common. I am not certainly, as successful as I should be to be/become "real", perhaps with precious insights from real people like you, I will.Mehdi A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17371973111047448331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-89779904030489741992009-11-27T11:24:37.156-05:002009-11-27T11:24:37.156-05:00Unfortunately wisdom does not always come with age...Unfortunately wisdom does not always come with age. Perhaps your mum has to hear it and cannot learn any other way. You have to be the wiser and stronger one so that your mother does not set you back. Stick to your course JBR, with prayer and the Holy spirit at your back, you can't falter.<br />May the Holy Spirit give you strength.A Mother Alwayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13061214919572800420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-44641990331896148292009-11-27T11:02:39.305-05:002009-11-27T11:02:39.305-05:00Congrats on setting yourself free by standing for ...Congrats on setting yourself free by standing for yourself!!~Christina~https://www.blogger.com/profile/03702370945482059255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-55474655608521705532009-11-27T10:49:22.096-05:002009-11-27T10:49:22.096-05:00Zan, thank you. Yes, more I am realizing my mum i...Zan, thank you. Yes, more I am realizing my mum is also broken. Finally Free, thank you for the reminder! Even though she herself is broken, gives no excuse for her being mean! LeeAnn, appreciate your words. That 'forgiveness' part scares me though. I cannot connect to that as of yet. Andrea and Paula, thank you for your continued encouragement and support.Just Be Realhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15815210059310140144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-60225636867050661982009-11-27T10:47:48.983-05:002009-11-27T10:47:48.983-05:00I'm so sorry that you had to endure these put ...I'm so sorry that you had to endure these put downs. Im proud of you for setting a boundary. Tough love has to happen but sometimes it's harder on the healthy one who has to set it instead of the one it is given to. It will take your mother a while to get used to the new and healthier YOU. But thank God for giving you courage to take this step and ask Him to continue showing you how to take the next. Believe me, if you continue to get healthier with your boundaries, someday you will also find yourself able to forgive and actually feel sorry for your mom who continues to want to be critical. (doesn't mean you will ever have to agree with her actions) I know because I dealt with something similar with my father. Counseling helped me so much with this.LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11115472068334541489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-21189949731943081752009-11-27T10:35:11.884-05:002009-11-27T10:35:11.884-05:00Well done for standing up for yourself!!! And I...Well done for standing up for yourself!!! And I'm glad you feel good about it! :)<br />Your mother deserved to hear it. Had you not said anything the topic would most likely keep coming back up again. I gather your mother doesn't feel too good about herself if she feels the need to put her own daughter down.<br /><br />Keep your head up! You did great.<br />HugsZanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12352913358894157685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-87037587515456136622009-11-27T10:16:15.519-05:002009-11-27T10:16:15.519-05:00JBR,
I don't think you came across mean. It ju...JBR,<br />I don't think you came across mean. It just sounded firm. I think she was being mean. It took a lot of courage to say that to her and stand up for yourself. <br /><br />Blessings and Hugs to you,<br />TammyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-51362961832896230182009-11-27T10:04:48.343-05:002009-11-27T10:04:48.343-05:00I am thankful you are setting healthy boundaries. ...I am thankful you are setting healthy boundaries. It is definitely a journey and I am still a work in progress in this area, too. <br />Blessings and hugs, andreaAndreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03082891172963869545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4349731646274826596.post-47518281341462960312009-11-27T10:03:02.768-05:002009-11-27T10:03:02.768-05:00Well done for keep standing up for you and GREAT f...Well done for keep standing up for you and GREAT for not feeling guilty afterwards. Great start into weekend.Paulahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07241317042459836045noreply@blogger.com