VISUALIZING YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER'S LOVE

The below devotional really hit me emotionally this morning.

While reading, my mind was jogged to this one memory I completely had forgotten. I was in fourth grade, at school, and our class was in some kind of sports tournament. I cannot recall exactly what. I remember looking over and seeing my father standing on the sidelines. A rarity. I was an active tom boy so I loved playing any kind of sports. Also it was a diversion from the emotional pain I was going through at home.

Anyway, I remember seeing my father on the sidelines and my heart jumped with excitement. I remember stepping up my game to impress him.

All my life I wanted so much of my earthly father's love. But, understanding now, my father did not have the love to give me. He was a broken depressed man with his own issues. Nevertheless as a child I did not understand that. I just wanted his love. His lack of attention and criticism hurt me tremendously!!! I have no memory afterwards. Whether he praised me or even commented on the game. I wanted so much to please my earthly father. Desiring so much of his attention and love.

I still find it difficult visualizing my heavenly father rocking me. Have so few hugs from my earthly father.

Zephaniah 3:17: “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

“All I ever wanted was for my parents, especially my father, to be proud of me,” said the business executive. “I never felt I was good enough. When I brought home a B he asked why it wasn’t an A. The night I missed a free throw and we lost the basketball championship by one point, he lectured me for three hours. I guess he was disappointed.”

Perhaps as a small child you wished your father would hold you and sing songs of comfort and love. Maybe you longed for him to take delight in your youthful accomplishments. Maybe you wanted him to go with you when you faced the neighborhood bully. Perhaps you needed him to affirm your love of theater instead of demanding you play sports. But it did not happen and you experienced great loss.

The words of Zephaniah are for you. Your heavenly Father is with you. He allows you all the room you need to be just who are, even though it is different from your brother or sister. God is delighted with you. Visualize him rocking you gently, calming your fears and singing happy songs of love and joy.

I’m loved
far more than I thought possible.
Thank you, Lord.

Copyright 2011 Joan C. Webb