Receiving a compliment, or a gift of appreciation from someone has always been hard for me. My little JBR comes out big time. I wear the embarrassment and at times down right shame on my face. Voicing, "no no I don't deserve this." Some times pushing "the gift" away." Not looking, out of shame, at the person who desired to do the kindly gesture. Stemming from my upbringing.
Thoughts have ran through my head as to, "why me?" "Why should you take such interest in me?" "I do not deserve this attention."
But, I am learning that I do. And on top of that, I have learned that "people want to do nice things for me." And for me to squash their desire, not only hurts me, but hurts them as well.
I am getting better at receiving. Although still very hard to acknowledge it and make eye contact. I still have the tendency to respond quickly with a "thank you" to get the attention off of myself.
The more I heal emotionally the more I begin to believe that, "yes I am worthy of a compliment." "Yes I am worthy of a kind gesture of thanks." And most importantly, but still very hard for me, "yes I am worthy of God's love."
by Joyce Meyer
I will bless you [with abundant increase of favors] . . . and you will be a blessing [dispensing good to others]. —Genesis 12:2
Nothing frustrates me more than people who don't know how to accept gifts. It's a joy to express my love or appreciation to someone by giving them a gift I know they'll like. But if the response is "No, no, I can't accept that," or "Really, you shouldn't have," or "No, take it back," then that drains all the joy out of it. It becomes downright embarrassing if you have to force a gift on someone. You may even wonder if you should have offered the gift at all.
Receiving a gift graciously stems from inner security. Those who are uncomfortable getting gifts usually have some deep-seated insecurity that prevents them from accepting others' kindness. They feel so low that they can't imagine they deserve anything. Or they worry that the gift burdens them with reciprocation. They would rather reject the gesture than have to engage in a relationship.
In my life and work I have opportunities to give many gifts, and I also get some. When I do, I genuinely appreciate it and tell people so. Be a giver and expect God to bless you through others. When they do, say "thank you" and graciously receive their offers.
The greatest gift that can be given is offered to each of use every day, yet few of us have the faith and self-esteem to accept it. God offers us His love. All we have to do is open our hearts and make the decision to receive it. Then we in turn get to pass it on to others.
Receiving God's love is an important step because we can't love others without it. We cannot give away what we do not have.
I did have trouble receiving gifts - doing much better, but often still feel undeserving, so it was very good for me to read this before we open gifts here at our home tomorrow evening!
ReplyDeleteEvery time you receive a gift you are giving a gift by your accepting because we all need to give.
ReplyDeleteLove to you
Gail
peace......
uhmmm such a hard one...I can give all day with such joy but it is hard to receive in return....so true we cannot give away what we do not have....thankful this morning for the gift or true love ...my Heavenly Father / His Son / and the Holy Ghost ...
ReplyDeleteI HAVE DIFFICULTY RECEIVING . I'M MUCH BETTER GIVING. I WANT TO GIVE. I FEEL JOY TO GIVE. I HOPE AND PRAY THIS SEASON JBR THAT YOU CAN RECEIVE.
ReplyDeleteDearest JBR. You've always touched me deeply with your pain and steadfast determination to heal. I know you've had a rough year. Praying that the next year will be a big change for you towards the positive. That God reveals to you his plan for your life. I mean it when I say, you're loved in a special way. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas JBR. Hang in there. I dont like receiving either. Makes me nervous to think some one took the time to pick out something for me. That there thinking of me.
ReplyDeleteHi JBR,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this post that you posted with me!
As God's children we are worthy indeed! It took me years before I could have a conversation with someone and look them in the eyes. Until God revealed to me the strength that already was in me seeing I'm one of His children.
God's blessings to you JBR,
Lon
Merry Christmas to you as well dear JBR :)Thank you for stopping by..God Bless You.
ReplyDeleteHi, JBR! Me, too. I am not comfortable getting gifts. I love watching others get gifts and i really love giving gifts, but, dont like getting em. Have a wonderful Christmas!
ReplyDeleteHey JBR...popped by to wish you a very safe and happy Christmas.....hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThat is great news. I have felt that way for a long time and never accepted compliments but we are worthy of them. People don't say them if they don't mean them and they also do not give gifts unless they truly care. You are worthy!
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of how much you have grown this year. God's gift to us is love and we share His love by loving others.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you and your family.
Peace and love
Pam
Dear JBR,
ReplyDeleteStopping by to wish you a Merry Christmas! We have hope because Jesus was born.
Blessings, love, and peace to you and all your family.
♥... Kerrie
Merry Christmas. More love and blessings. :)
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas sister! Praying you Christmas is filled with the "presence" of Christ! May you overflow with joy and hope through your faith in Him!
ReplyDeleteLove, hugs, and prayers,
Cherie