For as long as I can remember, I have been a people pleaser. Through neglect and criticism, I was emotionally hurt as a child. Causing cravings for attention, affirmation, value and to be loved.
Part of my emotional healing has and will continue to be in the area of having healthy relationships. This past year dealing with a sick relationship with PPP ("People Pleasing Person") and my detachment has been sensitively painful.
The devotional by Joyce Meyer says it all in finding proper healthy friendships. Breaking ungodly soul-ties! God desires me to have good friends.
by Joyce Meyer
Don't link up with those who will pollute you. —2 Corinthians 6:17 MSG
True friends don't try to control you—they help you be what God wants you to be. Put your faith in God, and ask Him to give you friends who are truly right for you. Perhaps you never thought of using your faith for right friends, but God offers us a new way to live. He invites us to live by faith.
There is no part of your life God is not concerned about, and He wants to be involved in everything you want, need, or do. I cannot make myself acceptable to all people, and neither can you, but we can believe that God will give us favor with the people He wants us involved with. Sometimes we try to have relationships with people God does not even want us to be associated with.
Some of the people I really worked hard to be friends with in the past, often compromising my own conscience in order to gain their acceptance, were the very ones who rejected me the first time I didn't do exactly as they wanted me to. I realize now I wanted their friendship for wrong reasons. I was insecure and wanted to be friends with the "popular" people, thinking my association with important people would make me important.
We should put our faith in the Lord to help us choose right friends, as well as everything else that concerns us.
JBR excellent post on friendships. Always glad to see how the Lord is leading and showing you his plan. Keep trusting him along with your health. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for the child you were and the pain you endured. It's good you are choosing your friends more carefully. I agree, we should put our faith in the Lord to help us.
ReplyDeleteMay your Christmas be joyous,
Pamela
Hi JBR,
ReplyDeleteExcellent point! The friends we choose are so important to how we are going to grow and develop. Friends secure in the Word of God are the best to have. I wish we lived near each other so we could be friends in real life. But since we don't, I will do my best to encourage and support you so you can be all that God wants you to be.
Hugs,
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Thanks for reminding me to thank God for the good friends He has brought into my life. Praying that He'll bring God-given friends into your life. Christmas is a good time for it to happen. Hope and pray you 're feeling better.
ReplyDeleteThose are wonderful words by Joyce Meyers. Thank you for sharing them with us.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true how we don't see those kinds of friends who are not true after all and we end up getting hurt sometimes from those kinds of relationships. So glad for the clarity we have in His truth. Blessings.
ReplyDeletePTL for healing...PTL for Peace PTL for joy ...there is none other than what we discover in Jesus Christ
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful for the REAL friends that God has put in my life, having also faced the issues that come along with being a people pleaser. I appreciated your post, especially "I cannot make myself acceptable to all people, and neither can you, but we can believe that God will give us favor with the people He wants us involved with."
ReplyDeleteMay God be gracious to you and yours this Holy Season and bless you and make His face shine upon you. amen amen amen.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful post, JBR. I pray that God leads you to friends that are true! You deserve loving friendships. God bless!
ReplyDeletesuch a healthy hopeful reminder;
ReplyDeletethanks for these peaceful moments, friend.
and yes, Lord, help us to attract
the health that we need
in relationships and friends.
merry thanks for this,
Jennifer
I find myself currently in a similar situation. I have a few people that I call good friends and individually we have been through a lot together, but lately, it just seems that when I need to talk to a friend no one is there as I would be there for them. They don't even havfe 5 minutes to talk to me because of their busy schedule with work, school and their personal life. It really hurts because sometimes I feel like I am alone in this department. I know that we are never alone and that our Father Jesus Christ is with us at every moment of the day, throughout our life here on earth and beyond, It's just that small things do matter. For instance, my situation has to do with my Baby shower, "a friend" said that she wanted to do the baby shower and that she would get everything together, this was 3 months ago. I never asked her or even mentioned to her about it, she just said she wanted to do it, then a few days after that another friend of mine asked me if anyone was going to be doing my baby shower and I mentioned to her that yes, "so and so" was going to do it. She said ok, I would like to contribute and I thought that was awesome, but here we are almost May 1st, the baby shower was said to be on May 17th, but no one has said a word to me at all. I tried to contact the one who first said that wanted to do it yesterday and she never responded. I left a message for her and texted her. Although, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, I texted her a few days ago and she responded back and forth about something else. I'm thinking that she is ignoring me, what do you think? I am not a pushy person at all, but I don't know what to do here. My other friend who wanted to assist her with this, hasn't responded to any of my emails or test messages. I know that she is busy with school, work and personal life as well, but not having 5 minutes to speak with a friend or just to let you know what's going on doesn't sound right to me. Can someone please give me their advice? I don't know what to do here. Am I just being emotional? Thank you so much and God bless you all.
ReplyDelete