"Who are you helping most when you forgive the person who hurt you? Actually, you're helping yourself more than the other person. I always looked at forgiving people who hurt me as being really hard. I thought it seemed so unfair for them to receive forgiveness when I had gotten hurt. I got pain, and they got freedom without having to pay for the pain they caused. Now I realize that I'm helping myself when I choose to forgive." - Joyce Meyer
I grew up in a very hurtful environment. So, when people did awful things to me and used me for whatever purpose in the past, I always chalked it up to "I deserved this treatment." No need to forgive. I was the problem. If anything I should be asking for forgiveness. Even if I did not do anything wrong. I justified everything back then as being my fault. Talk about condemnation.
BUT, today.....I would certainly question people's motives about how they treat me as an individual. As of recent, being stabbed in the back by a couple of people, I thought were trustworthy, this past year proved how I have grown in this area.
Although very very painful at the time, and a bit still, I realize that I do not have to take on that "guilty mentality and worthlessness feeling" that I once did. Blaming myself. When in fact "they" are the ones that caused my pain. So, now I have a choice what to do with it. In the past, it was easy for me. I justified it was my fault regardless. Now, that I am breaking out as "an individual in my own right" I have the option now to forgive.
Yeah, goes against our grain. Certainly feels unfair when "others" caused the pain. But, I am understanding now that there really is "no feeling" that goes along with forgiveness. I am always waiting for a feeling. It is an act of faith that is the designed plan from God. And the truth is what Joyce stated above, "In forgiving we are actually helping ourselves." Forgiveness is freedom.
Forgiving is all new to me. I still struggle with condemnation. But the more I heal and believe I am of importance, the more I will have the capability to forgive others and even myself easier.
JBR I'm glad God is breaking through to your most inner being where you're recognizing you are valued. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteI really had a hard time dealing with that person who hurt me so much & was not able to forgive for many years. My blood pressure started going up & joy in my heart was completely stolen away every time I was with her or had thought about her. I don' t have enough words to express how liberating the feeling was when I finally chose to forgive her & just gave the situation onto His hands. Only then I got reacquainted with my old, happyy, joyful self. I thought she destroyed my life. But in reality, it was I who hurt myself because I let the wounds in my heart fresh all the time. Thanks for reminding me JBR not to do that anymore...
ReplyDeleteYour post is great.
ReplyDeleteI’m trying to forgive God. He took our son, Joshua, way to early for us all.
How do I forgive Him?
Satan is the killer not God but God will destroy him soon.
Deletethis is an amazing post...
ReplyDeletewithout forgiveness this world wouldn't be here today...
HI JBR forgiveness is a gift to self - freedom and peace follow. Hallelujah!
ReplyDeleteLove Gail
peace.....
Oh JBR we all struggle with forgivness ....I know I do ...some days its feel like I have won some degree of victory just to find the next day I am loaded with hatred...toward that or this person or circumstance....enjoyed your posting this morning. Happy Saturday
ReplyDeleteI like what you said about feelings not accompanying forgiveness. I've struggled with that, too. But like you, I know that it is a choice, a matter of the will, not based on my feelings. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your struggles.
ReplyDeleteYou are right true forgiveness can only come when you don't blame yourself.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! This truth is a huge part of our healing process!
ReplyDeleteCindy: I am so very sorry for your heartache with the passing of your son.
ReplyDeleteThis side of heaven there are many question that will go unanswered, and that taking of a child so very young is one of them. As difficult as this season is for you, God understands your anger, frustration and deep pain. He understands the grieving and confusion.
God is not the author of death, satan is. BUT..... yes, God allows death to happen. Even to the innocent.
All I can say dear one, continue to grieve. Call upon God through your pain. Even in anger. At the same time, ask Him to heal the pain.
Down the line, the question "why" will become easier and replaced with assurance in Him. Safe hugs.
Hi JBR,
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is very freeing. It frees us from the attacks of Satan. Unforgiveness gives us holes in our protected hedge around us and allows for the evil one to come in and swallow us in bitterness which in turn blocks our vision of God. When we forgive we are blocking out the attacks of Satan and allow the love of God to come in and mend our brokenness as we lay in a heap at the feet of God.
It is hard to do but forgiveness is an act of the will, the feelings will follow and believe me it is amazing to see how God comes in and makes us whole again.
Thanks for sharing this word.
Blessings,
<><
I have found forgiveness gives such peace. It is good for our soul to forgive. Wonderful post.
ReplyDelete"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder
ReplyDeleteBreak free! Prayers on their way. C
JBR this post really speaks to me. Your journey from one spot to another gives me hope that the same is out there for me. Thank you for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is very freeing. If you don't do it you are forever full of anger. That doesn't mean it is an easy thing to do. Glad your progressing in a positive direction.
ReplyDeleteforgiveness is one of the most
ReplyDeletebreathtakingly beautiful things
I know.
Grinning and grateful
for the wonders of it,
Jennifer
SUCH A CUTE PICTURE FOR SUCH A IMPORTANT TOPIC.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent post, JBR. What's funny is that the more we forgive the more inner healing we receive ourselves. Forgiveness is hard but necessary. I liked your words about feelings and forgiveness. It's good for us to remember that forgiveness is a choice and we can forgive regardless of whether we feel forgiving or not.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, my friend.
So many good points in this post! "the option to forgive" and that forgiveness is an act of faith....powerful lessons! Yay you!
ReplyDeleteMy family is big on grudges...but not me. Forgiveness is definitely a better way. Otherwise it just eats away at your soul.
ReplyDeleteSandy
Good for you...NO, you do NOT have to take that kind of treatment and it is NOT you! This was a very hard lesson for me and one I continue to struggle with but one I certainly am glad was introduced to me. Hang in there and continue to know that God is working through you to better your life.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJBR, I haven't been reading blogs as much lately, but I was just stoppin' by to check on you... and send some love.
ReplyDeleteYou are a woman of incredible worth and value!