"Childhood sexual abuse brainwashes its victims into believing that they are unlovable … or they will no longer be loved if “people find out.” What they perceive to be conditional love buries their secret all the more. Children who have experienced the trauma of sexual abuse need not only a physical haven of safety, but also an emotional haven for the wounded heart. Tell them about God’s unconditional love and then be an example of His unconditional love. Help children run into the arms of Jesus to receive His emotional support and security." - Excerpt from Hope For The Heart
Just want to encourage those of you who can relate to the above. I too have come away with a wounded heart from my past. Sexually abused being only one aspect of my upbringing that confused and sent mixed emotions to my little girl.
My journey has been long and difficult. Loosing sight of my goal at times. Must admit loneliness still plays a very painful part. A lot of it has to do with the abuse, the literal isolation I chose in order to survive the emotional trauma of the abuse and my parents breakup and the separation of our family.
Not trying to use an excuse here, just telling it like it is. I still hurt very much in this area of relationships with the opposite sex and the healing is more painful and taking longer than in other areas.
That being said, my Heavenly Daddy continues to restore my little heart. Relying and trusting Him to be the loving Daddy I longed for. Enabling me to regain that emotional stability in order to reach out to others that are hurting.
“You, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless … You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry.” (Psalm 10:14, 17)
He is always our refuge from all that has abused us, raped us of any joy and peace...so thankful for a Loving God....He is faithful!
ReplyDeleteJBR I'm sorry you still hurt. My heart aches for yours. If there's any comfort, God knows the painful emotional experienced by your broken heart. God gives hope to all those who suffer from a broken heart by promising both his abiding presence and his overflowing peace. I remember you quoting Psalm 34:18 about the Lord being close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. That goes for you JBR. You've been through many trial coming out successful. This one will come about as well. God's purposes in allowing pain in our lives are multi-faceted. Not only does he teach us about his love and faithfulness amidst our times of sorrow, but after our grieving has ended, he gives us strength to offer words of edification to others who are experiencing similar trials. walking through difficult situations proving that with God's help even seemingly insurmountable obstacles can be overcome. What a better person to take an example from than you JBR. Hang in there. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteJBR, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that someone treated you with such disrespect and taught you lies, such as that you are unlovable. You have over 500 people following your journey who think otherwise! I am so glad that you are facing these lies. Your strength astounds me. Many, many hugs, JBR.
ReplyDeleteJBR, the photo...such a blessing and analogy of what it feels like to be safe in the Lord's arms. My heart goes out to the little girl who suffered so. A tiny part can understand because my little girl suffered emotional abuse. Was told by my mother that I would "break my beloved father's heart and he would die" if I told. As I said, this was emotional abuse. Scars go so deep, still. In this, I truly know how only the Lord can comfort right down to your core, how only in His loving embrace can one feel "really accepted and love for who He made us to be". In, this, my heart is just so open to you because knowing what emotional abuse does, I shudder to imagaine what you have been through. Having said that, I so Praise His name because I know He is able to be your ultimate comforter. Thank you for your honest, heartfelt sharing today and that beautiful picture of His comfort. May the Lord continue to bless and comforth you on your journey.
ReplyDeleteIt was not easy to forget, but you are now in the right place where you are loved and protected by our Father as you continue to walk with Him.
ReplyDeleteGOD WILL PROVIDE YOUR HEALING JBR. HE'S BROUGHT YOU THIS FAR NOT TO FINISH OFF HIS PLAN.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to see you getting a bit better everyday. I have no frame of reference to compare to but it must be one of the most difficult things to get over with. Fortunatly, you have the BEST help available - Jesus.
ReplyDeleteI find it very hard to be around people because of the way I feel about myself too. It isn't a conscious thing - I just curl up inside and feel unworthy. Even blogging is hard because I don't feel worthy here either. I fight these feelings with prayer each day asking God to help me love myself. I want to love Him the most, others and then myself. But it is a daily thing for me. God bless you in your struggle.
ReplyDeleteIt's heartbreaking that such a thing ever happened to you, Grace. God always finishes what He starts so I have no doubt that you will be healed completely one day.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.
HI Grace-
ReplyDeleteI wish for you freedom in being loved, and a calm confidence. I understand the journey.
Love to you
Gail/Annie
So much of this post really touched my heart. When you wrote "my little girl", I stopped. I have not taken so much ownership of mine - and I think reading this post has pushed me in the right direction with the process.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you
Praising God for His working in your life for good. Thanking you for praying for me. I am still is debilitating pain and really struggling right now. Please pray for me , dear JBR.
ReplyDeletePraying that through Him you will continue to find love for yourself and when you love yourself you will be able to understand when someone falls in love with you. It's coming.
ReplyDeleteHealing takes time. I'm so sorry for what you have had to deal with, Grace. We are so fortunate to have God as our refuge.
ReplyDeleteI have come back and reread this more than once today...I don't have any words (exhale) I wish I could say something profound that would make it all make sense, but I can't. I am so glad that you have been able to trust God even after being through all that you have been through. You are safe in His arms no matter what...He is with you until the end, and it truly is an adventure. Much love to you JBR! You continue to be in my prayers.
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