IDLE WORDS

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:36-37

I had lunch yesterday with someone that I befriended at my last job before being laid off. Others at that company really do not give this individual the time of day mainly because of his appearance and gruffness. Having no clue what a really nice and compassionate guy he really is. He has had a rough life.

But, somehow we clicked. I had to work closely with him my last days at work. We ended up talking about his family, kids and other stuff. He made me laugh. He was my bright human light in a dark work environment. Just his expression would set me off laughing.

Half of the time I did not even have to ask him what was on his mind, because we both just had to look at one another and know and give a wink. I can gravitate to this kind of individual for some reason and feel comfortable. Even being the opposite sex, I feel safe with him. Where others would write him off because of his outer appearance. We would even talk about that. That is how comfortable we were with each other in sharing.

He has been trying to have lunch with me for these past six months. Repaying me back for helping him at work. Finally, I felt led to meet up with him yesterday.

I knew it was going to be a challenge for me. As I have changed since he last saw me. He only remembering how at the time I was suffering terribly with the change-of-life and hot flashes. As well as what was eventually coming down to my last days before I was let go. He knew my frustrations and stabbing remarks of others. And we would go back and forth with our comments. I was a miserable mess during this time. Hurting both emotionally and physically. That is why I believe part of the reason that the Lord had "me let go" because I was killing myself with unbelievable worry and anger.

Anyway, yes I learned a lot from our luncheon and what has transpired since my departure. Some very painful things that still hurt me. Showing me I am still a wounded and vulnerable little girl.

I prayed a head of time and even the weeks before for me to be conscience and to curb my tongue and not chime in like I used to do when I would meet up with him. But, to hear him out. Because he really does not have anyone he can trust there to vent.

I had my elbows resting on the table with my fingers to my mouth. Listening to his heart's cry. I found myself wanting to say something negative many times. So instead I tried to clamped down on the side of my index finger with my teeth. Realizing later, the battle wounds of my poor finger were great.

Cannot report that I was totally successful in watching what I said. But, I did a whole lot better than what I expected. Because I wanted to. I wanted to honor God!