SELF ESTEEM

I can remember at times my father stating that ‘children should be seen and not heard.’ At the time I was too young to understand those cutting words. I was more than likely hurting or wanting to share something at the moment that those words came from his lips. As a child all I could do was fear the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes to get me to shut down.

I do not have many recollections of my father and I spending time together. He was lost in his own world of alcoholism, porn and busyness. It seemed that it was always an effort for him to be comfortable with me, which in turn made me feel uncomfortable and withdrawn.

“Many of our problems are rooted in our low self-esteem. Perhaps we were never listened to as children. Or maybe we were abused by people who had authority over us. Whatever the roots of our problems, we are now probably overly sensitive to the attacks of others. We see here (Psalm 8:3-9) that God has made us to be fantastic beings with great honor and authority. We should never sell ourselves short. Self-esteem should be based on what God thinks of us-not what others say about us." (The Life Recovery Bible)

What has been a life-time of depending on what others think of me to feel accepted in this world, should in reality be all what God thinks of me! My strength and self-worth come from Him. I know it will take time to re-adjust my thinking process and my belief pattern that my Heavenly Father is in no way like my earthly father. Even though I cannot really grasp now what love or even what God’s unconditional love is, I go on faith that He does give it, not only to me, but to every one.