"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, July 02, 2009


I found myself this morning on my knees before the Lord. I cannot put my finger on what brought me to my knees (except the Spirit Himself), but I felt such a need to go before my Lord straight away and be totally in His presence.

Then I go off and read my daily devotional from Dale and Juanita Ryan (part of it below) to find my answer:

"Honestly communicating our fears to God, will build our capacity for trusting God's promises. God has promised to be present with us. And God has promised to provide rest. We will need both to survive the transitions and changes that come with recovery.

Thank you, Lord, for the promise of your presence today.
If you will not go with me,
please don't send me.
Because I can't make it on my own.
The journey is a difficult one.
The path leads through deep valleys.
And, I am sure to lose my way
without your presence to comfort and guide.
Help me to rest today in your promises.
Help me to rest in your loving presence.

The word "transition" is what jumped out at me. It is hard. I still struggle with being scared, and giving up my whole 100%, but if I keep focus that my God is with me every step of the way and desires to see me through, then I will be okay!

That is what I feel I am experiencing now, the transition and the Lord is preparing me for the next step!


  1. God loves you so very much sweetie, and He will not leave you. Just keeping holding on tightly to the hem of His garment.

  2. Thank you Denise. It warms my heart just to read what you wrote.

  3. As you know, I'm DID. Many DIDs, even tho they may have been very instep with the Lord before the abuse, have lost that ability to reach out to Him now. I am one of those people.

    So having said that, I read your posts and I wonder how to do what you do. I wondered what is "giving up my whole 100%?" I think I used to know - or I was well on my way to knowing at some point.

    You are so very fortunate to have not had your faith ripped from you. I love coming here, thanks for being so real...

  4. Isn't it awesome how GOD leads us to what we need in the very moment we need it. Beautiful reminder of HIS faithfulness in "ALL" our lives. "Transition" jumps out at me, too. Also, "rest"...sometimes we forget that there are times we must rest in our Heavenly Father's arms and gather strength for the next step.
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

  5. Ivory, I so much appreciate your post, thank you!!!!

    What I was referring to was trying to give Him my controlling issues 100%. Controlling issues, where I still want to make my own decisions that will affect me, i.e. the easy way out, not to feel pain in order to get better, etc. All in all, to rely on Him 100% and show me what He wants me to do through prayer and waiting on Him. Reading His Word (the Bible, start with John in the New Testament). Not many people achive giving their 100% to Him! We are human, and we have that sin nature where we are rebellious and want to do what we want to do. Still, while I am here on this earth, I would like to strive for the ultimate goal that He had planned for me from the beginning, to be free and to enjoy the life that He has given me, you and everyone. Gosh, I do not even know if I am making sense here dear. I hope I helped a bit with your question.

  6. Andrea, amen to that. Rest is a big component also! As we become very weary, especially when we fight against God and want to do it our own way. "The controlling factor again." Blessings.

  7. The way we are now is all because of Jesus,without him we are a big NOTHING...
    Thanks for the post.

  8. Thanks be to God and we have the Good Shepherd Who always helps us find our way even when we are in the deepest, darkest valleys of this life's jouney. May you continue to rest in His loving arms. God bless.

  9. I needed this prayer today it helped me too. I hope you are doing well I am sorry if I have not been able to comment lately.

  10. AnonymousJuly 02, 2009

    You "R" truly blessed! I come by your blog regularly and I'm even blessed by what is written here. Thank you for being real and keep it up.

  11. "who ever you are" a/k/a Anonymous, thank you for your kind remark. Glad you are being blessed. I am trying to be as real as I can be.

    Tabs, glad the prayer could uplift you today. I was wondering where you have been, and I believe I remember 'something' major is going on with you. Hope you too are well. Blessings.

    Amen to the good Shepherd rcubes. Resting sounds so very nice.....ahhhhh....

    Yes Redeemed, if it was not for Jesus......

  12. Happy 4th of July!

    Coming back for a return visit. Ifind it very difficult to give my all to God also. Trusting is very hard to come by. Some things I can give to him and some things I just can't. But working on it.

    Stephanie G.

  13. "How shall I pray?
    Are tears prayers, Lord?
    Are screams prayers, or groans, or sighs or curses?
    Can trembling hands be lifted to You,
    Or clenched fists,
    Or cold sweat that trickles down my back,
    Or the cramps that knot my stomach?
    Will you accept my prayers Lord,
    My real prayers
    Rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life
    And not just the pretty, cut flower
    Gracefully arranged bouquets of words?
    Will you accept me Lord as I really am,
    Messed up mixture of glory and grime?"

  14. God never deserts us for even one second...even when we can't "feel" His presence He is there.


  15. So much appreciate everyone's response.  It has really been a day from hell for me today especially at work,and could feel phyiscally better also.  But, God has made a way.  So glad that God does not deserts us, even though we may feel He has.W&W's God accepts all kinds of prayers.  I have basically done all that you list and continue to do so.  Amen, that He does accept us as we are.Step, thank you for returning and your comment.  Much appreciated.

  16. I love your blog too! =)

  17. The Lord does promise to be with you always. Hold on to that.

  18. What an awesome and inspiring post! Thank you. It is exactly what I needed to hear today.

  19. I pray that whatever experience you go through via transition will be a step closer to your goal that you seek.

  20. It amazes me how easily you can see this in your day to day life. I was shown today what happens when you open your eyes and just wait. I've had my eyes closed for such a long time.

  21. "I'm sure to lose my way
    Without your presence to comfort and guide (...)
    Help me to rest in your loving presence."
    Beautiful words, very true. Every day I pray to God to help me endure what life brought to me...For as long as He wants me to. I know that one day it will change, because He won't let me be in this Hell forever.

  22. AnonymousJuly 03, 2009

    Did you say you've only been blogging since March? How on earth do you have 1,1000 profile hits already?? Holy cow.

  23. How beautiful this post is.

  24. how much I feel the fears of transition. I need to remind myself over and over God is in these transitions. Blessings. Sarah

  25. stuck-in-the-middleJuly 03, 2009

    Happy 4th of July to you JBR! Hope you have a great long and relaxing weekend.