“When you work with a good counselor, you should feel understood and supported. You should feel warmth and caring. And that should happen early in the therapy process.
However, you can’t always judge whether you’re with a good therapist by the way you feel in the moment. Some women experience counseling as a haven they can’t wait to get to. Others dread every session and have to force themselves to go. One woman said, “There were times I was absolutely terrified of going to therapy. I don’t know how I drove there, how I got out of my car, how I got through the door.”
Counseling is not always comfortable, but you know you’re with a good counselor if you develop more and more skills in taking care of yourself as time goes on. Even if there’s an initial period of strong dependency, you should eventually become more independent. Gizelle’s counselor was able to do this for her:
I really owe a lot to my counselor. When I was struggling time and again and would say, “Where do I go from here? What should I do?” he would say, “Trust your process. Trust yourself. You know.” The greatest gift he’s given me is belief in myself. He constantly reflected to me my own knowing and my own power, my own ability to heal. He never gave me the answers. He never did the healing. It’s very important to work with people who help you get back your power, who help you get back your trust in your body, in your instincts, in your gut, in your voice, in you.
Although your relationship with your therapist may be tremendously significant to you, it is essential that you not relinquish all of your power in the counseling relationship. Remember that you are at the center of your life and your healing. A good counselor is only one of the many resources you will use.” (The Courage to Heal)
I would like to add a major resource that I use as well and that it is God! I personally feel He definitley needs to be in my healing process.
You make an excellent point that counseling is not always comfortable. It simply can't be.
ReplyDeleteI could relate to dreading going to my sessions in the past. Then I foudn it to be easier when I relaxed and knew what I was doing was the corect thing to get well.
ReplyDeleteI've often regretted I quit counselling so early on. I admire anyone with the strength it takes to stick with it.
ReplyDeleteI find myself on occassion going back for a tune up to my counselor. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteI am not always comfortable with what happens, but feel my therapist is very caring and concerned for my well being.
ReplyDeleteI think it's true that dependency is sometimes necessary at the beginning, but that the goal has to be self-care. One of the reasons I am finding it possible to handle more things on my own is that I know that my counselor will be there for me if I need her. She is my safety net. Not having that growing up, I think I needed it now in order to reach the maturity I should have attained decades ago.
ReplyDeleteThe support of a good counselor can be so important in your healing especially in the beginning when you are too scared to know what to do.
ReplyDeletePraying for you sweetie, love you.
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