This is a very encouraging post for those of us who are in counseling or have been, or are contemplating going.
Be blessed:
“For many survivors, a skilled therapist is an integral part of their support system. A good counselor is a compassionate witness to your healing, knows the terrain, and can guide you through the process. By offering consistent support, encouragement, hope, information, and insight, a counselor provides a safe relationship within which you can grow. Laura explains:
When I couldn’t believe in myself, when I didn’t know if I could make it, my counselor believed in me. Week after week, she sat there, a loving witness to my pain and my progress. She loved me no matter what I did or said. For the first time in my life, I felt accepted as if I were valuable-not for what I did, but just for who I was. That was her greatest gift.
Your counselor should be someone who truly cares for you and consistently reflects your essential worth back to you:
When there has been real harm done by people who should have been trustworthy, there’s a deep level of confusion about your goodness, worth and value. Because the harm happened in relationship, it heals in relationship. A relationship with a therapist who’s warm and loving and present is one of the places where deep healing can take place. I don’t think I could have come to know my own goodness without having that reflected to me by my therapist, who really cared about me and made room for the horrible experiences I couldn’t tolerate facing by myself. If I hadn’t gotten good professional help, I don’t think I would have stayed alive. Or if I had lived, I would have lived a very diminished potential.
A counselor provides a safe place to spill out the secrets and pain-and the hopes-that have been held inside. And in that sharing, a transformation takes place:
Some people think a therapist will try to fix them, like an auto mechanic-tinker here adjust there, change a part-and this will feel disruptive and invasive and troubling. But if it’s a good therapeutic relationship, it’s not like that. Ultimately you do get healed, but in the places you need to be and in a way that feels right. It’s comforting and it’s a relief.
In a strong therapeutic relationship, a special kind of magic takes place. Feelings are reclaimed, ancient hurts resolve, lives are re-envisioned, and the future opens up with possibility. Therapy can be a powerful vehicle for change.” (The Courage to Heal)
This is a helpful post, bless you sweetie.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic. One that is'nt usually posted or talked about. Great insites in what to look for and look forward to. Glad you posted the info.
ReplyDeleteGreat post JBR! Thanks for it.
ReplyDeleteMy counselor is THE BEST! I've been seeing her for 9 years and I don't know where I would be without her.
ReplyDeleteI've more than one counselor. Faciliators in group and a single one that sees me every other week. All have different qualities to share. Some more compassionaate and direct than others. Allcontribute in some way. Excellent post. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. In my past I have had many counselors. Was in and out of counseling as I never made a commitment. Maybe I should tyr again.
ReplyDeleteI went to counseling. The counselor mostly taught me coping mechanisms. These helped somewhat but they were only temporary. He did help me with my panic attacks but not so much with the abuse issues. At least I learned to stop a panic attack in it's tracks so that was a positive thing:) You are in my prayers everyday, JBR.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you. Counelling with the right person is so very beneficial and such a support in your healing.
ReplyDeleteVery good post. The therapist is only there to guide the client through their issues and establish a caring and trust relationship. May take time.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me that I truly need a therapist.
ReplyDeleteTherapy has helped me to just BE me. To just Be.
ReplyDeleteIt is a wonderfully freeing thing to learn this skill.
Wonderful post, JBR.
ReplyDelete"She loved me no matter what I did or said. For the first time in my life, I felt accepted as if I were valuable-not for what I did, but just for who I was. That was her greatest gift." I agree completely. The greatest gift and the most help for me was unconditional acceptance - something I never expected.
Mary, I may be wrong, but it's been my experience that male therapists tend to lean towards "fixing" you because that is kind of the male approach to everything. Men hear a problem and their natural inclination is to fix it. That works well in many areas of life, but in therapy, sometimes, what is needed is someone who is there to guide and support you as you fix yourself. Have you considered seeing a woman?
Great post!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a wonderfully blessed weekend! andrea
I've witnessed that magic in my own life. And I am so grateful. It took me awhile to find a good counselor that I could really connect with - but now that I have, the result is amazing.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post!
Behold, ye are all children of Israel; give here your advice and counsel. Judges 20:7
ReplyDeleteGreat topic! Sometimes, it's just like shopping, too. To find a counselor who you can really trust. God bless you JBR! And may you have a wonderful weekend.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I have experienced this kind of support in a counselor it made all the difference. Unfortunately,many people haven't and it can cause such disillusionment and increased heartache. Your post is encouraging, and I am sure that in sharing it, you have given someone somewhere that little nudge they needed to go seek help. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteJBR-as long as they keep in mind to "first do no harm" Take care~rick
ReplyDeleteA good counselor will do just what this post claims.
ReplyDeleteHi JBR, Thank you for this post, because I am planning to pick up a counseling course this month and reason being, I tend to have friends come by as if I was the complain or counseling department that happened even when I was in high school. Perhaps this is my calling. who knows ... only God does. Pray that I can help others who want to be helped. Take care and have a blessed weekend.
ReplyDeleteI am just wrapping up a nearly 2 year commitment to therapy. My therapist has held out hope when I couldn't see any. It has been a blessed journey together. It has been worth it.
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