"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

POP UP MEMORIES


Feelings are becoming so much more real to me now.

I was lying in bed again last night, and I would have a memory come up during my struggling years, as a teenager. This is happening more readily now.

I believe since now I am more relaxed in the Holy Spirit, the memories which I can "feel" and sense now, besides when they actually were happening at the time, seem so very real. The colors and even the smells are so vivid. A lot of loneliness and isolation. The feeling of not belonging or being accepted among my peers. Disturbing at times, where I will have to pull myself out of the pain of the memory and recover and give it over to God to help me continue to accept myself as I am. That I am of worth!!!!

I am so amazed to how I suppressed so much of my 'feelings," in order to survive.

18 comments:

  1. ShadowNovember 10, 2009

    memories will remain suppressed until we are ready to deal with them... hugs and love!

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  2. AnonymousNovember 10, 2009

    Take it one day at a time. Don't force the issue. Let the memories come when they come.

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  3. the walking manNovember 10, 2009

    Memories are just that, though they can be vivid they can not replicate the actual harm found in them. Good to see you're coming back to the world of the right now kiddo.

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  4. Anonymous :)November 10, 2009

    I'm glad you're seeing these memories for what they are - something that happened, that's over. Better to face them and figure out how to live on, than to run for the rest of your life. I pray God puts a special healing patch over each memory that surfaces and surrounds it with His love. So, ultimately you remember what happened, but bigger than that - God's love.

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  5. ~*Michelle*~November 10, 2009

    Continuing to pray for you.....prayers of peace, comfort and strength. Prayers of healing....both in the physical and emotionally....lay all the hurts at The Great Physicians Feet.....He will never forsake you.

    xox
    *~Michelle~*

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  6. stuck-in-the-middleNovember 10, 2009

    Exciting to read. Take the leading of God's hand. You're doing great. He's with you.

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  7. AnonymousNovember 10, 2009

    AS you release yourself to the Lord he will give you more insight into what you need to see. God Bless.

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  8. SylviaNovember 10, 2009

    It is amazing, isn't it? Sometimes I find myself thinking about the same - memories that come to my mind and I wonder why I forgot for so long. Don't worry, my dear, those days of suffering are gone and you are very well accepted and loved now. A big hug.

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  9. JenniferNovember 10, 2009

    The work you are doing and the acceptance you are gaining of your whole person and your existence is really WONDERFUL. One of the amazing things that I realized for myself is that I AM STILL me in spite of it all.

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  10. AndreaNovember 10, 2009

    Praying for you, today.
    Blessings and hugs, andrea

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  11. Dee DeeNovember 10, 2009

    God is moving in you. Digging up the old stuff, replacing with His love. You go girl!

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  12. UnknownNovember 10, 2009

    Our memory and our memories are indeed amazing. I know when I am in the midst of working on my book, our family's memoirs, there are times I just have to stop, because it is like reliving those times all over again. Very, very real. I have to remind myself that that was then, and this is now.

    And as one of your other comments said, it has been my experience also that God doesn't allow us to remember specific things until we are ready to deal with them and be healed.

    Keeping you in prayer,
    Cheri

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  13. AnonymousNovember 10, 2009

    It's so awesome that you can feel the feelings and then turn them over to God. I'm learning how to do that now too... Hugs to you!

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  14. kbermanNovember 10, 2009

    I think the pain is because we didn't feel the feeling. Feelings can't kill but the suppression of them kills our joy, wonder and gratitude.

    Thanks for your writing.

    I have need of reparenting links at
    kathyberman.com.

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  15. DeniseNovember 10, 2009

    You are becoming stronger and stronger. Praise God.

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  16. GaiaNovember 10, 2009

    Hi dear, it's a constant struggle isn't it? we can tell each other to focus on GOD, but it still gets to us ... our worth! We need prayers huh?
    I'll be thinking of you. Bless you.

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  17. DreamDancerNovember 11, 2009

    I agree with what the other comments have already said, you are doing much better, coming right along and I'm with you, girl! Hugs and love your way :)

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  18. PaulaNovember 11, 2009

    JBR, good to hear that you feel in better spirit and get connected to your feelings. Just had an entire day on emotion management but only will beable to write about it after it has settled. So good to conenct to you and all my other blog friends. Missed all of you. Love from Germany

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