"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

SCORN SHAME **(Updated)**

I have added this prayer to my post tonight as I desperately need His touch with what I am facing now. Having a hard time:

I come boldly before Your throne of grace. Your word says that You give strength to the weary, so I ask that You would strengthen me Lord, for I am weary. Bless me Lord with Your presence, that my heart might be encouraged. Help me remember Your faithfulness and Your love that I might stand in faith against the issues that face me.

I bind the schemes of the enemy to tear me down, and I rebuke the spirits that have been assigned to harass me, to make me feel shame, to make me feel unworthy. I ask You Lord to minister fresh strength and joy to me. I agree with Your word, that says, Your plans for me are to give me hope and a future, let it be so Lord Jesus, according to Your will. I pray in Jesus mighty name, Amen!

Shame and joy truly cannot live happily in yourself. For most of my life, shame has taken a front seat to my life of joy. Being sexually abused and verbally knocked down as a kid and even into adulthood, it is hard for me to remember what joy actually felt like.

I am slowly understanding that my shame base has crushed my spirit into my adult years when more responsibility was put on me and hard for me to handle, as I was always over-protected by my mother her doing things for me and a father who was impatient, would cut me down verbally because I could not do things right in his eyes many times.

Each day, little by little, my shame is being replaced with a little bit of happiness. Happiness, which I pray will turn into full blown joy one day!

The devotional below is so very encouraging in helping me see how wonderful joy is and how Jesus defined what true joy is and how we can experience it also:

Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy set before him
endured the cross, scorning its shame

Hebrews 12:2

Shame does not coexist comfortably with joy. Experiences of shame eat away at the spiritual and emotional foundations on which joy is built. When we are consumed by shame, joy will keep its distance. But shame has a way of getting to us. Our defenses against the clever tactics of shame are not well developed.

Jesus is a powerful example to us of how to resist shame and make room for joy. First, Jesus 'scorned' shame. He did not give it a stature which it did not deserve. Experiences of shame did not define who he was. He was not just the sum of the shame he had experienced in life. His identity and person were securely rooted in God. So, he was able to experience shaming experiences without internalizing the shame.

Secondly, Jesus had 'joy set before him'. Experiences of shame hurt us. Shame is always hurtful. But we are not entirely defenseless. Jesus drew strength to endure shame from the anticipation of joy. Shame can be better endured if we allow ourselves to remember that God has plans for us that include joy. We are not aimlessly adrift in life, headed nowhere, wanderers in a meaningless maze. On the contrary, every day takes us closer to the fulfillment of God's purposes. Justice and righteousness will reign in the end. Jesus' followers share his conviction that joy, not shame, is God's purpose in creation.

Today we can root ourselves in God's love for us. We can scorn the shame. We can remind ourselves that God's plans for us include joy.

Help me to scorn shame, Lord.
Help me to root myself so completely in you
that shame has no power over me.
Help me to see the joy you have set before me, Lord.
Remind me today of your plans.
Help me to draw strength today
from the hope that your plans for me include joy.

***The picture above brought back memories of the few times in elementary school having been put in the corner and on display in front of my classmates for not paying attention. Talk about humiliation and shame. Teachers had no clue how they could hurt a child inside by doing something like this. Especially when it was never explained why you had to be on display. Can destroy a child later on in life.***


  1. Peter suffered the brokenness of sin and shame. The Lord had warned him, yet he failed anyway. Despite his rash promises, Peter denied the Lord ... three times. The crowing of the rooster roused Peter from his confused stupor and ushered him into the bitter and undeniable reality of his sinful desertion of his friend and Lord. I have had a moment or two like that. Maybe you have, too. It's that moment when you realize that you've dishonored the Lord and let him down, even though you promised yourself, and the Savior, that you wouldn't let him down ... again. Peter is our great reminder that our failures don't determine our future with the Lord. God can take those failures and make something good of them. While our messy failures are not his plan for us, he can take our messes and restore us back into his plan. So please, don't give up when you think you have failed the Lord. Instead, let your sin break you and then come back and openly confess that sin to the Lord and be restored. He will bless you and use you to bless others if you will come back to him.

  2. i'm busy writing something, i think you're in my mind, about how fear and confidence, doubt and faith, tears and smiles, anger and silence, can somehow not coexist....

  3. stuck-in-the-middleNovember 24, 2009

    Of the many posts you shared, for some reason this one strikes a nerve with me. Someting I need to look into further. Thanks JBR, I guess. :)

  4. while I understand what you are overcoming and fighting, I wonder why there is shame for you involved? you did nothing to be ashamed of.

  5. Continue seeking help. God will help you to one day overtake the shame that you experience from your past and replace it with that unbeatable joy that He promises. You're a refreshing individual that shares from the heart. That's why I keep returning. God Bless.

  6. I struggle with "shame" to this day and wonder if it's something I will ever overcome.

  7. Thank you for authentically sharing. I am all about the joy that only He brings sister! Have a blessed Thanksgiving. Blessed by your blog!

  8. Shaming people was one of the most awful, disgusting, dishonourable and nasty educational strategies that anyone has ever thought of using. Children, especially, should never be ashamed of what they are. Jesus never taught us shame. Thank you for posting this.

  9. I can relate. Shame is awful.

  10. Your statement..."Shame can be better endured if we allow ourselves to remember that God has plans for us that include joy."...makes me want to shout...AMEN! I grew up hearing the church talk about the Lord's joy unspeakable and full of glory...didn't ever really understand it until many many years later...the joy of the Lord is truly our strength and when we accept this gift from God, our dependence on other people and material things for joy vanishes, and is replaced with complete, full-filling joy that NOTHING can take away....

  11. Whenever I feel shame I remember this, I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4 & 1Peter 1:16. It is the enemy who accuses and wants us to stay in a place of feeling bad about ourselves. God & Jesus have always been about restoration and newness.

    This was a wonderful post, you got me right in the heart. God wants repentence if it is something we have done and then He wants us to do it no more and forget it. It is gone. That is easier said than done but we just have to know that especially in the context of your circumstances you have NOTHING to be ashamed about. Sometimes it just comes down to believing God's word when he says we are forgiven and then go and sin no more. I like also that you talked about joy. The scripture says the joy of the Lord is our strength for good reason. When we feel joyful we feel like we can do anything! When we are sad and wallowing in something (like shame) we don't feel like we can do anything. That is right where the enemy would have us, ineffective for God and out of our true identity in Christ. You are a beautiful child of God, a treasure, wonderfully made, forgiven and fully loved.


  12. The joy of the Lord is my strength, and consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter trials of various kinds..... Joy is knowing God's grace transforms us daily. Joy is those moments of the day when we know we are his perfectly human children and nothing can separate us from him.
    I agree with Karen's comment. I am washed in the blood of the Lamb, and good in the sight of my Lord. The shame of my upbringing, and the shame of my sinful ways as an adult, are vanished, as far as the east is from the west, when I claim the righteousness of Christ.
    Love you,

  13. Wow...I think shame is one of the roots that I have deeply agonizingly hung on to. Time to uproot. Time to move forward. Very well written post. Thank you. Hugs, and Hope that you and many others will heal as we read and recognize this....powerless panic. THanks.

    mile 191

  14. This was beautifully written.....I have a lump in my throat thinking about the shame and condemnation you have felt/are feeling.

    Always know that God is for us, not against us.....May His Light continue to bring you comfort, peace and healing.


  15. Shame...a hot topic these days. I think we all carry our shame around like a security blanket. We don't know who we are without it. But thank God for GOD! He will not let us stay wrapped up in these blankets. Freedom is just around the corner...

  16. Thanks for sharing JBR the info. :)


  17. The enemy is so terrible -- he assaults and attacks, leaves us bleeding on the side of the road and then tells us to be ashamed at what he did. I love that God in His power, Jesus in His salvation, gives us freedom, grace, hope, and joy. Keep exposing the lies to the light.

    Sending gentle cyber-hugs to you and prayers up for you.

    Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

  18. Oh honey your pain is evident. God hears you. God cares and loves you. Imagine his arms wrapped around your heart protecting you from the lies of the evil one. He will walk with you through the valley. You'r not alone. Never ever.

  19. I am praying that you will feel better soon . "For in Him we live ,and move and have our being . "Don't believe the lies of the Devil .You are worthy ,Jesus loved you so much he died for you , that validates your worth above everything else . Put the shame back where it belongs , onto your abuser . You are not what he did to you .
    Love in Christ ,

  20. Shame needs a positive to overcome. WHEN you feel SHAME, PRAY for joy. In time, I do believe you will overcome this. I pray for that for you. Hugs. Tammy

  21. Great post!
    Love to you and yours

  22. I lived in shame for the majority of my life, so I can relate. Letting go of it allowed me to experience release of guilt, which has brought me such joy! Yes, some days the demon of shame wants to seek me out and haunt me, so it's a fight sometimes. Yet, I must remember that God is on my side, what an awesome power! Thanks for the inspiration, JBR.

    Happy Thanksgiving, precious one, to you and yours... love you!!!

  23. Enjoy the time the lord has given you at Thanksgiving.

  24. I come in agreement with you on your added prayer here. That the enemy's attack will not over take you and that you will break loose of your present situation. God bless and Happy Thanksgiving.

  25. May joy be poured all over your life, love you.