"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


I want to truly thank you all very much for your prayers and support for me yesterday as I shared my "Trilogy of In My Moments."

The devil is trying to do a number on me in feeling guilty for apologizing to my people pleasing person. The butthead even woke me up and either him or his assigned demon to me started right away with, "Why did you apologize? You had nothing to apologize for?"

Right away doubt along with tremendous guilt and fear of rejection once again settled in me in the wee hours of the morning. Then I had to counter-act my thinking with, "I knew this was not of God!" Very Hard!

Devil, am I this special to you, that you have to bombard me so heavily into believing your ways? Obviously you know I am getting closer to what the Lord has in store for me to wake me up and with such lies!

Sure, I have anxiety and uncertainty in heading out into the work field this morning. I rather crawl up in a corner the rest of my life. I still struggle with how I am going to handle adversity when it does appear. I am scared.... I am very scared. I know what I am capable of with hurting others with my own pain. I hate to keep on apologizing and feeling rejected. But, I am praying that each time I do become stronger! Hey, after all, that is what the process of the journey is all about, correct?

Again, the Spirit in me is once again saying, I have to become even more intimate with Jesus! Then I question myself, "Lord am I not?" Apparently not! I am called to even go deeper!!!

If the devil continues to try and tell me I am going to stay the way I am forever, he is lying. God promises in His word that He has begun a good work in me and He also will finish it (see Philippians 1:6).

So I am hanging onto this!!!


  1. Try not to put so many human character traits on non human beings. These are spirits you deal with not men. You can not "talk" to them through your humanity only through your spirituality.

    Just keep on learning to become what you are intended to be and when you recognize it; just be.

  2. JBR I see you stronger each post you make. You make think not. Even when you reflect how weak and you failed at something, that still shows growth. Your doing great. God Bless

  3. stuck-in-the-middleJanuary 26, 2010

    Hang in there JBR!

  4. Good, you are facing the demon!


  5. You're one brave soul. I marvel at your honesty and willingness to change. Many don't see what you see. Thankyou for the encouragement to go on.

  6. JBR,
    I praying that God would place the helmet of salvation on your mind.....So glad you are doing better. :)
    Someone left you a message on my blog from yesterday.

    I think blogger is having technical difficulites. My posts are not registering on the list til 8 hours later.
    Blessings and hugs,

  7. the devil is obviously very wary of you. thus he's so reluctant to let you go. but, he'll lose the battle, of that i'm sure.

  8. Praise God our sanctification is a process. We are not what we will be. Rejection is so hard, but dear one you are accepted totally now by the one that matters - I know you know that - I pray it fills every part of your heart!!

  9. Good luck, JBR, hope the day goes exactly as you see it in your heart - not according to the anxiety-ridden imagination.

  10. Sweetie, you are doing good! Proud of you. Take alot of courage to admit you'r wrong.

  11. I am not sure who the devil is anymore. He is us. The side of us that is in a turmoil of wanting to do good, yet this world with its hypocritic nature and distractions seem to be lugging us away. We are torn ... torn from GOD. But JBR you have a great fighting spirit, you are indeed on a winning streak. Bless you dear

  12. Hope and pray today will be easier for you!
    Hang in there, JBR!
    God be with you!

  13. The Lord is doing wonders in your life showing you many things. Awesome.

  14. JBR,
    I certainly understand.
    When we're faced with those difficult situations, it's so hard to remember that most people who come against us don't really want to hurt us - they are just being led by something other than 'flesh'. And our battles aren't with them because we don't fight flesh and blood.
    And it's so difficult to remember that when we're in a situation where someone is coming against us. Over the years, I "try" to not 'react' immediately and pray before answering. Then I 'act' as the Holy Spirit leads - not 'react' to the situation.
    And I ask God in prayer is, "Is this a 'test' or a 'trial'? And how can I get through it in victory?"
    And JBR, if I fail and am woken in the night to the reminder of my messups, I remember who the "accuser" is and that he is the father of lies. And right then, as he accuses me, I run to my Abba-Father and crawl up in His holy lap and tell Him about the 'bully' that's stealing my peace and accusing me. It's really cool to watch my "Daddy" deal with the 'accuser' and cover me with His peace.
    You are growing stronger and stronger as you grow closer to God's heart!!! Praying God's peace will blanket you today.

  15. JBR:
    Remember that satan is disguised as an 'angel of light'.... he loves to confuse and accuse. That accusation never comes from God. So hang on to the truth and walk in the things He has already taught you. HE can be trusted.

  16. You are a very special child of God and you are so precious to Jesus and your life and testimony are touching so many, and that's why satan is trying to take you down. But you have King Jesus at your side and Holy Spirit in your heart and God Almighty in your corner! Satan doesn't have a chance in hell! wrestlegod.blogspot.com

  17. You already have the victory because of your faith in Jesus! Glory to God! God bless.

  18. No one is perfect and we are all challenged my friend.....you are doing very well knowing when you are being attacked. God be with you JBR today and every day......:-) Hugs

  19. Satan is the father of all lies, send him back to hell.

  20. I think we all have a natural tendency to go back and forth between faith and doubt. But I love that even when we doubt, God's love never diminishes...

  21. Amen!!!! agreed. He won't let you down..He can be trusted to complete what He started. sending you a ton of hugs. Sarah

  22. Proud of you JBR. Read your other posts leading up to this one. You display quite a realness trait. something many of us fear to do. Keep pressing on. You'll get there.

  23. Commonly, when we are changing, we go from one extreme to the other until we find a happy medium. This is very "human" and how God knows we change. I think He does this to show us the pain of both extremes. You're right where you need to be, Sister! Yeah!!