"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

SLAVERY TO PEOPLE


As I head out into another unknown week tomorrow, and ask God's Grace to sufficiently fall upon me, I am reminded once again about my slavery to people. People pleasing is just that. Being a slave to others! I have been more afraid what others think of me, then accepting what God alone thinks of me!

Changing into a chameleon daily for different people has been my M.O. Extremely tiresome. I have been so many off-shoots of so many people pleasing techniques, I myself was confused who I really was!

I have noticed in the last few weeks, my desire to break away from this awful bondage is strong. Last week was really 'taxing' on me emotionally and physically. Nevertheless, it was a turning point for me I believe. My determination to break free was at an all time high. Walking into uncharted territory is never fun. Have no clue what to expect. Still do not. Never will. But, one thing I must keep in mind, through it all God is with me!

My pastor today, shared with the congregation that when the merger of my church and his was going on last year and how some from my church literally 'snubbed him' and walked away, he did not feel accepted and just how much it affected him. He shared with us today, how physically ill he became, because he realized he depended so much on what others thought of him. He never experienced this type of so called 'rejection' before.

Through much prayer, he knew his calling was to remain at my church. He knew that he could only get his acceptance through Christ. Saying all this, this man is real. This is big coming from a pastor who is relatively known. Not to knock my previous pastor, who was very well known, but I know for sure he would not have admitted publicly the pain he endured.

Talk about a timely message! My pastor's sermon encouraged me today. Even 'Men of God' can find it difficult with people pleasing as well.

I am believing God to bring along the people in my life that are right for me. Where I do not have to strive to be liked, but just to be me!

33 comments:

  1. HI-
    I saw that you are following my blog and I wanted to stop by and say "thank you" and to visit. Your blog is very profound.

    Love to you'
    Gail
    peace.....

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  2. Isn't it so true, that when someone who goes through pain, shares with humility where they went wrong, that it is so life-changing and wonderful to all of us who listen.

    I remember years ago, a pastor we had, got up in front of the church and in tears and brokenness told the congregation that he had failed his family. He felt he had given all of his time to the church and did not take time with his own family. They had a teenage daughter who had become uncontrollable and I believe him telling us was also his tears of sorrowfulness publically to his daughter for not being there for her. I'm sure he spent time telling her in person also. You know, he actually became a better pastor than he was before that to our congregation. His brokenness, humility and willingness to be real changed him and our congregation, oh and his daughter.

    Just be YOU! Your realness is what makes you special.

    Lee Ann

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  3. I agree, JBR... just be YOU, the person you are- beautiful, honest and inspirational! Bless you!

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  4. Hello, sweet JBR~

    I so agree with LeeAnn. How encouraging it is when we hear testimony from someone who HAS been in the same situation/circumstance/feelings as we are in at that particular moment. It is by no means a coincidence. God IS there with you, leading you towards the people that you need in your life right now.

    This was so a GOD MOMENT!

    Blessings~
    Laura

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  5. Honesty, which you have, is the realness to any situation. Keep at it. Your getting there.

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  6. Trying to connect to others in an authentic and meaningful way is part of the human condition. It takes a powerful person with self confidence to admit the struggle. Keep on growing JBR!!!

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  7. I too find it most helpful when my pastors show their flaws. Too often we put them closer to God and forget that they are human, too. The good ones will admit they are not perfect and have to work just as hard as we do sometimes. Thinking of you!

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  8. Yes, I agree that you should pray for people in your life who are from God and who will LOVE you for you. I have had the same problem and it is exhausting!!! I do have a mind of my own as well though and tend to live in my own world. That can be a lonely thing so them you go back to trying to please people again so that you di not have to be lonely and then it becomes like this vicious ugly cycle. This year, I am dedicated to trusting God to be my everything and am learing to think of myself. It is good to be selfless and I feel that God wants us to be that way, but I also feel that he wants us to have a balance with it. I don't feel that we should run ourselves ragged.

    I know that God will bless you with AMAZING people in your life and restore infinite LOVE and ACCEPTANCE to your soul. Just keep allowing God to be your everything and it will be ALRIGHT girl! :o)

    P.S. I thought of you today as I was leaving church and was thinking on my post for today. I hope that you will read. I was going to dedicate it to you, but I did not know how you would feel about that so just know that I had you in mind! I hope that it blesses you! xoxo

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  9. AMEN, our acceptance is through CHRIST..NOT others!

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  10. Being true to yourself will allow such freedom and much confidence.....when one lives in fear I believe one can manifest illness, it is best to give fear over and live in faith...Hugs

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  11. There is no doubt in my mind that you can do this.

    Secretia

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  12. And I think that's why God keep putting you in uncomfortable situations to remind you that you're not alone as you try to break free from this bondage. That was powerful& very courageous of that pastor to tell his brethren about what he felt from them. Through that, everyone gets healing because they would learn to forgive and be forgiven. That was just the right thing to do:

    "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." ~James 5:16

    God bless JBR...Your faith is already your victory!

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  13. Great post - we talked about slavery to sin this morning in Romans - I think it was 6:16-20. I am sitting on the couch and don't have my Bible handy.
    Love your blog.
    Love to you.
    kelly
    http://www.amazingsalvation.com

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  14. That must have been moving when your pastor shared like that. You share like that all the time. You are so open. I try to be too. I am also a people pleaser but I am getting better. Hugs and prayers always.

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  15. You might be surprised that everyone who motivates you to walk in fear of rejection actually likes you just the way you are. And, if not, they need to change.

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  16. Just be you. You are beautiful.

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  17. JBR,You are a fantanstic person.It is an Honor the have you as a friend.
    Now that it has been a while since I commented and given you something.it's on my stie.Come and Grab it.

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  18. Believing is the best place to be! The you that God created is beautiful!
    Delighted to meet you today! Your blog title grabbed my attention and I just had to stop in and meet you. So glad I did. I hope you don't mind if I splash around a bit to get to know you.

    Joyfully,
    Sarah Dawn

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  19. I have also been in the "PP" prison (people pleasing) God showed me that I was hurting the people I was pleasing by filling voids in their lives that He wanted to fill. I still get locked up sometimes, but now I have the key.

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  20. I'm with you and praying this for you....He'll do it JBR...He'll bring those people who you can just be you with....Sarah

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  21. All you have to be is you sweetie. I love you.

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  22. JBR, just be the special person that you are!
    Being true to oneself has many rewards!

    Peace and joy to you, always!

    Margie:)

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  23. Here's to breaking free. Here's to being "us" and not someone we're not. How cool that the message for today spoke to your heart. Perfect. Just remember the real you(imperfections and all) is better then a made up one(perfections and all)any day. (((((Just be real))))) Lori

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  24. Wow. What a great post. I can so relate to everything you wrote. I'm really just beginning to understand how powerful this dynamic is for me. I also find that I get the messages in church that I need. I know all those other people are there, but it feels like God is speaking just to me.

    Best of luck next week. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

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  25. JBR, thank you so much for your wisdom this is RIGHT where I am in this very moment. I posted some of your entry this evening, and of course i credited you, with a link back to your amazing thoughts here.

    Hugs, blessings and encouragement as we walk similar roads of mental and spiritual growth opportunities right now.

    ang

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  26. So many prayers for you, you will succeed getting to your desired destination.

    Blessings

    BM

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  27. Praying for you as your week begins. Remember that God is always weith you. That's all that matters now. Cheers.

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  28. Hugh HardingFebruary 01, 2010

    Came over from sexual abuse site. Your blog shares and explains. In the following days will take a look around.

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  29. Hugh HardingFebruary 01, 2010

    Came over from sexual abuse site. Your blog shares and explains. In the following days will take a look around.

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  30. JBR. You are gonna encounter many individuals each day. Individuals such as family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances, people who serve us and even strangers. Each one of these is an association. And for every association in our lives we have an opportunity to bear some fruit. And to bear fruit we usually have to do something that is outside what the world normally expects. Look at what Jesus did; he crossed a boundary by speaking to the woman when it was contrary to the Jewish custom to do so. That got her attention. God Bless


    If we are going to produce fruit, we also will have to cross some boundary. Jesus and the woman continued to talking and went on to reveal himself to the woman as the as Christ, the Anointed One of God as we see in verses 25 and 26:

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  31. stuck-in-the-middleFebruary 01, 2010

    JBR hang in there!

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  32. God wanted us all to be unique and special in our own way. It would be boring if He had made us all the same. It's difficult not to try and please all those around us. One of my biggest struggles in the past. I have a great CD teaching from Joyce Meyer called People Pleasers. I'd love to send it to you. Just email me and it's yours. 4everroxy@triad.rr.com

    Keep pushing forward my friend. Hugs!!!

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  33. mmmm, i wonder why it takes us so long to realise it's so much easier just to be who we are...

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