"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

DID SOMETHING NICE FOR MYSELF

I very rarely do something nice for myself.

Ingrained fear from my mother not to enjoy the pleasures of life.

Well, today, I did something nice for myself. Despite my mother screaming in my head to....

NOT DO THIS!
YOU CANNOT AFFORD THIS!
YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT!
YOU DON'T DESERVE FEELING GOOD!

I mean I reverted back to "shame on me" for spending money on myself.

I was even going to do it yesterday, but chickened out. Because of the fear and the above lies. Got angry at myself for not following through then.

Fortunately, I had the opportunity to still do what I wanted yesterday, today with added bonuses.

Oh, you want to know what it is huh?

Do ya now?

How bad do ya want to know?

Hmmmmmmm.......

Well.......

As most of you know I enjoy playing guitar, and feel the Lord has gifted me in this area. Hey, I am no Paul McCartney, but I am okay and thankful that at least in this area, I am pretty confident. Sometimes I relate my music and playing to Mel Tillis.

Mel Tillis is a Country Singer, who stutters terribly, until he sings. You would never know he had a speech impediment. Amazing.

Not that I stutter, but with my gift of music, I could be having such a bad day, feeling hopeless and despondent and to have me pick up my guitar and start playing, the pain of what I am experiencing, subsides for the time being.

Okay, enough yada yada yada JBR.

I am a fan of Esteban.



So, I bought one of his guitars!



He offers such nice looking and well made guitars. This guitar is better than the one I have now.

The guitar and fixings will arrived the same day I have my devotional at work which I was planning on playing in eleven days. So I will be using my old guitar. Boo hoo. :( Unless, God Speed Delivers it a day earlier. :)

I really needed this boost today!

I needed to feel good about myself, despite the guilt that comes and goes now after this purchase. I still feel good that I was able to make a decision on my own and fight the lies inside my head.


42 comments:

  1. As a child of the King, He would MOST definitely enjoy gifting you with a precious instrument to glorify Him with. Good job taking care of you!!!

    ang

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  2. Yea!! Good for you!!!

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  3. Thank you guys. I am pretty excited. A rarity for me. But, I'll take it!!

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  4. Awesome! I'm so glad you did something for YOU! You deserve it!

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  5. Wow!!! What a lovely guitar!! And to have the talent to play it - I am envious. sigh...

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  6. Congratulations for not letting the lies stop you from buying the guitar for yourself. You deserve the happiness that the guitar and playing it will bring you. I feel sad for your mom who will never know that happiness. Play to your heart's content.

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  7. Yep, I'm right there with the rest of your comments saying I'm so glad you did this for yourself. Glad you did it despite the old tapes. "GO GIRL"!!!

    With practice it will become easier. So, practice. :)

    PG

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  8. JBR this post is exciting to read. You examined the voice in your head and learned how you might be limiting your experience in life due to old programming. You're not accepting things the way they are anymore. It's a start. A very good start for you. Good for you. God Bless.

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  9. Pretend I'm your mother:
    Way to go, it's about time you treated yourself to something special. Enjoy and I can't wait to hear you play :)

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  10. JBR.

    Good for you. In my anixety group we often talk about doing something nice for ourselves. And my thing is to spend money on MK. Everything else like clothes I buy at the Salvation Army, food I buy at Walmart, etc... However, I splurge on my face and that stuff lasts a long time too! And anyway I probably put in an order every two months. Well today, just before I got on blogspot, I put in my order. I was feeling gulity today, but reading your article made me feel better. So you enjoy your guitar and I enjoy my MK.

    Hugs,
    Amanda

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  11. I love that you did this...too cool...ok..wait...now I want to hear you play and sing...☺

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  12. That's wonderful. We need to look after ourselves as much as we need to look after each other. If a fantastic new guitar brings your joy and happiness then that's great!

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  13. Wow JBR!! What a beautiful guitar. I am so glad you did something nice for yourself. :)

    Blessings,
    Tammy

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  14. Good for you!! Enjoy it :)

    Joyce Meyer is releasing a new book that might help....

    http://www.joycemeyer.org/cookie

    I'm thinking of buying it myself.

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  15. I'm so glad you treated yourself to a new guitar! I bet Jesus is smiling, too :)

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  16. I have 3 guitars JBR. Despite me, not being a great singer nor guitarist. But I can play a little bit :) It feels good to also use this to worship the Lord. The 1st guitar my hubby gave me is way old, a Fender, but still plays well. But it's nice to be able to use different kinds sometimes. So, you'll have 2 now...And I know you will enjoy the new "baby!". :) Happy playing!

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  17. Thanks all for your encouraging comments. Besides my Fender acoustic that I bought in 97, I do have an electric guitar I bought in 1978. So, this third guitar which is acoustic and electric will be a nice addition.

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  18. Goodness knows you deserve that guitar! Bless your heart for having any doubts about that. I know you will enjoy it immensely -- as you should!

    I was bird watching today and thought of you. :O)

    Hugs,
    Lisa

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  19. Woo Hoo, you go girl. I am very happy for you.

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  20. Praise God for the talent He placed in you. Now you have two gifts: talent and a new guitar. I totally can see the Lord blessing you!

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  21. Im excited for you JBR. What a gift and blessing. May what the Lord has given you, be a blessing to the many you minister to.

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  22. You are SO worth it! It's good to give ourselves gifts from time to time. It's important to treat ourselves.

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  23. You go girl! now you can bless others with your gift.

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  24. Very nice. He desires to bless you.

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  25. Good going JBR!! Play with joy!! I love it that you bought yourself something this special.

    Sunday blessings!

    Sonja

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  26. OH yeah, that is great, so great. Happy that you got this special guitar for you. Maybe one day you will record a piece and put it on to your playlist at your blog - surely not only I would simply love that. Have great day. Mill of hugs, so proud of you

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  27. Wow! Congratulations on your guitar. I like Esteban, too. He used to play locally, at a resort here. I never knew that about Mel Tillis. Thanks for sharing, and enjoy your instrument!

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  28. It is a stunning guitar .....Whoo Hoo shouting for praise with you.
    Hugs, Ella

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  29. Great post. Enjoyed rerading. Have a blessed day.

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  30. Oh yea. I like Estabane to and congradulations on purchasing one of his guitars. I see him do those info commercial frequently for his product.Sounds like you;ve got a good deal.

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  31. Found you from a your link off of At His Feet. The name of your blog appealed to me. Read your profile and it touched the very depths of my soul. Will check out more on you in the days to come. I don't have a blog so I'm coming under the guise of anonymous.

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  32. That's awesome JBR! So glad you bought yourself a goodie. You definitely deserve it and all the goodness in the world!

    Love, Catherine

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  33. Enjoy your new guitar, yes you deserve this and you deserve to be happy. Go for it!!!!!

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  34. Sounds great. I bet the guitar does to! Enjoy and have a good weekend!

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  35. Good for you! Playing the guitar was one of the things that helped me during my teens. Singing and playing helped me feel good about myself.

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  36. That is wonderful that you treated yourself to a new guitar.
    We should always be kind to ourselves!

    Margie :)

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  37. I think this is great! Music is SO healing and helps me feel closer to God. With this amazing piece of equipment I bet it does the same for you! :)

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  38. Congratulations!! Somewhere in that "beating yourself up," you eventually enjoyed your excitement!!! I knew that this year that my depression was improving as I began to listen to music again which had previously been a huge part of my life. ENJOY!!

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  39. how exciting...

    :)

    Have a blessed Holy Week..

    BM

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  40. Had to return to tell HOW happy I am that you did somthing nice. Keep spoiling you. Every day a small thing. Maybe you ask little JBR what she always wanted too? Love you

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  41. All right, JBR! God supplied the gift...you use it for His glory...and bless others by sharing the fruits of this gift...can you say VLOG...YouTube!?

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  42. you should do more for yourself... make it a habit... and try each day to love on yourself a little bit more.... you need it.

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