"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, March 08, 2010


As miserably disappointed I was not to go to my friend's house on Saturday, because of a migraine, (thank you all for your wonderful encouraging comments) the Lord still had a plan. His plan was just as painful as a migraine, but it showed and gave me the opportunity to grow even more in my healing.

Ephesians 3:16 shows that God understands what it takes in order to heal:

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power
through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your
hearts through faith.

Areas in my life that need to be strengthen in order to heal continue. God certainly understands and sees the depth of my soul where my healing must take place. He sees my pain.

The Spirit desires to get in there and fuse healthy fibers and cut out where the pain resides. While the Spirit works within, many times a raw painful nerve is touched that reaches the depths of my being and I cry out in desperation. He hit that nerve a few times over the weekend which released deep sobbing.

Out of my desperation, I cried out, "God these painful thoughts of loneliness and lack of self worth still overwhelm me. Why is it still such a struggle? Lord give me the strength to be content just where I am right now."

What I found out is that, He desires to go even deeper to my very core. That is why I still struggle. That is why the nerve is so sensitive and exposed. There is still deep pain inside.

Oh great!

Only there can He fully do His work, if I let Him. To the very core of the pain, which is necessary in order to heal still must continue.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have Him in my life! Because there would have been no way for me to be able to endure this journey alone! No Way! Nada! Niet!

So, even though I have improved tremendously, I still have a long way to go.


  1. just keep on keeping on...

  2. I do believe you are beginning to let Him do His work in that deeper core of your being where the pain still resides. This is an encouraging thing for me J.B.R. Your words "If I let Him," is the key for me. The fear of exposing those deep sad, lonely, painful areas I seem to run from God, but my heart wants to run towards Him, and I will by faith, believing He is a loving Father who desires to heal you and me, and will be there right beside us on this journey of healing, which can only come from Him. I am grateful also to have Him in my life! Janie

  3. You must never quit my friend, love you.

  4. You will walk victorious. You are amazing.

  5. No time is wasted with God. God Bless.

  6. Hi sweetie, I had a weekend of headaches as well. I hate them!!

    I like what you said, "learning to be content where I am right now" Yes, knowing there is more yet to do, knowing He will do it, in the time frame He has established. Living in the waiting is hard. Living with the angst is hard. Living in the chaos is hard. Living with the struggle is hard. Transformation is not painless. I so wish it were!!!

    Hugs, hugs, hugs!!!!

  7. Feelings lie. Thoughts deceive. Only God's Word and His love are real.

    Be blessed and free in His embrace today,
    Audience of ONE

  8. The God of restoration...Who wants nothing but the best healing for His children! Keep hanging on JBR! Keeping you in prayers. Have a great week!

  9. I praise GOD that you recognize HIS working in and through each aspect of your life.
    Blessings and hugs,

  10. We ALL have a long way to go and I thank God for the journey!

  11. Don't dwell on those negative thoughts. You will never get out of the pit, because your thoughts will keep you there. Remember, God made us in such a way that our spoken words override our thoughts, so the next time you have a negative thought, speak a positive one!

  12. "He desires to go even deeper to my very core. That is why I still struggle. That is why the nerve is so sensitive and exposed. There is still deep pain inside."...this resonated with me deep inside. I believe He is unveiling us, completely, exposing us so that He can truly be the center of our world. (((hugs)))

  13. You ARE going to win this battle, JBR! Don't just say the words, breath it and live it!! I know that it is still extremely painful, but you, dearest, are on the right path! God is going to do something very wondrous with your life.

    Blessings and Comfort,