"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Taken from Isaiah 54:4

"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated."

Shame causes fear.

When I am fearful, I want to run and hide.

I still have walls erected that need torn down.

I still find myself playing the "acceptance game" with others, comparing myself at times.

I still try to control my pain in order to give the appearance I am okay.

I still, I still, I still......

But, I have, I have, I have......

I have also begun the healing process to the shame I carry. Not an easy process because of the fear and the disbelief that I can be anything but shameful. Nevertheless, sharing my pain not only with God, but others who accept me and not shame me is a BIG step in the right direction. There is strength in His name and He is healing me.

God knows I want to still run and hide. I still have those tendencies. Especially when His emotionally surgically hands dig deeper in my heart to the real core and root of my shame. Oh yes, there it really hurts!

I always envision Him with a big lasso throwing it around me and gently drawing me back to His presence. I want to say drawing me back to His love, but again, if I do not feel it, I do not like saying it.

One day though, one day!


  1. Yes, you will one day sweetie, no doubt.

  2. stuck-in-the-middleApril 28, 2010

    In time JBR when your ready for his love. Interesting video.

  3. Every victory, regardless of how small, every fibre of your heart that is healed, draws you one step closer to that wholeness in Christ, JBR.

    God bless :)

  4. JBR I've been meaning to say I love these pictures your put up on your blog with the golden people. Those are really cool. They're well meaningful as well. Great choice. You never cease to amaze me with your progress. All I can say you're on the right course. God's love will come into your heart once those walls break down. Be patient. God Bless.

  5. And that is the reason why Jesus came. He died for our fredom. This is a beautiful song! I wish it was you singing with your guitar :) Blessings JBR!

  6. JBR,

    That day is coming but until then, walk in faith, step by step a little at a time and God will bless your determination to walk by faith.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  7. Sweetie, continue to let God heal you one step at a time. If he did it all at once, I don't think our human body could take it.

  8. .
    Good point there Deedee. Baby steps even God's way. Thanks.

    H2H, amen. All in His timing.

    Rcubes, you are so sweet. Probably would be a simple song to play. I have not looked for the guitar tabs on this one yet, but if I can play it, so can you my guitar buddy.

    onthewaynow, yeah aren't those cute golden people. I found a slew of them on a website, and I grab them from there. Thank you for your encouragement as well always.

    Peter, I like what you said. So very true. There is always progress in one's journey either forward or backward, regardless.

    Denise and stuck, thank you for your continued support and "love."

  9. Thank you for this message, and for your constant, encouraging comments on my blog. You are such a blessing to me. Hugs.

  10. I have so many walls built up around me JBR that it feels as if every time I tear one down, three more are built.

    I have been thinking of you a great deal lately. Praying for you to continue to gain strength and march forward.

  11. .
    Rhonda dear thank you for your concern. I appreciate it. I think we all who are in recovery and get used to one another, eventually build a bond of some kind. I pray that you continue your healing as well.

    Kathy, you are special as well. I learn a lot from your post, since I never have been in Al Alon. Thanks always.

  12. Girl, God LOVES you more than you could ever imagine and I know that he is pulling you back to his LOVE! Just keep letting him heal you and you will feel his LOVE more and more each day. That is how it was for me and I still have issues as well, but I do know that God LOVES me and he LOVES you too! So GLAD to hear that you are being healed and it really does show! YAY!!! :o) xoxo!

  13. We've just got to do our best, understanding that some days will be tougher than others. Taking two steps forward and one back still moves us in the right direction!

  14. .
    Yes Greg I keep on reminding myself that it is not a failure to progress one day and then fall back a bit the next. Amen.

    Thank you ever so much for your encouraging words GIMOW. Hearing what God has done for you helps.