Had a really bad day emotionally.
Have not had one of these so intense. Whew.
Was on the verge of tears most of the day. The pain of the memories which brought shame and guilt turned into grief, sorrow, and sadness as these emotions sat right on the edge of my heart today. Waiting for the opportunity to pounce all at once. Like I could feel them as the tears tried to well up. It took all I had in me just to hold it together today. I am exhausted. Emotionally spent.
I just barely made it home from work tonight and the flood gates just opened.
Needed to at least post about what is going on. I need an avenue to express my hurts besides to God who I wonder at times, if He is even listening.
Forgive me, I am battling back and forth with doubt at the moment.
I even knew something was up in my Spirit this morning when I awoke. I was even contemplating calling in and taking a PTO from work.
This deep cleaning from the Lord is obviously working.
Working too well.
Too painfully well.
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
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praying for you.
ReplyDeleteJBR sorry for your painful emotional day. Don't fight the emotions. Let them come. This is what you've been waiting for as you get closer. I'm excited for you even if your not. God Bless.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
andrea
I'll keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteRemember to keep moving forward - even when it feels like you might be moving backward. Don't trust that feeling. Trust God.
ReplyDeleteMany prayers.
(((JBR)))
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Tammy
Oh sweetie! I'm so glad to see that the Lord has been healing you and cleansing you of this overwhelming pain. I know it can seem so much at times, but remember that God is there for you... as are we! Rest up, dear one.
ReplyDeleteTears are good, JBR. Very good. God loves you and deeply desires to heal you and it is obvious that the Holy Spirit is hard at work.
ReplyDeletePraying that you'll feel better tomorrow. Of course God is listening.
ReplyDeletePraying for you always, love you.
ReplyDeleteHoping this helps clear out some of the debris and tomorrow will be the rainbow after the storm. It's normal to mourn the life you didn't get to live because of abuse.
ReplyDeleteSorry that you were having a bad day My day did not start out so ggod as well.
ReplyDeleteHey girl, keep your prayers going, He is listening. Sometimes though He needs us to go through these things, but He never gives us more than we can handle. You are stronger than you think! Kia kaha
ReplyDeleteJBR, big warm hug. I know it is tough going. No need to be strong all the time. Give yourself abreak and be gentle on yourself. Self care! Spoil yourself today with something nice, something smallish but just for you.
ReplyDeleteHang in there JBR. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. Be encouraged. Tomorrow is a new day and remember there will be good days and bad days but God is with you through it all!
ReplyDeletePress on JBR. You'll still encounter bad days. You're only human so don't be surprised. God gives us strength when we can’t face another day. The Jews were discouraged. They felt like giving up. God will give you strength no matter how dark or bleak the future appears.
ReplyDeleteSweetie your doing great! Let him carry you when you cannot walk. He wants so much to be with you.
ReplyDeleteLet the tears come JBR, even when it seems they will never stop. Remember that He is collecting all those tears in His bottle, that's how precious they are to Him. He is still your Great Physician!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Sonja
Tough stuff...thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you in my prayers, my friend. ((((Hugs)))) to you.
ReplyDeleteJust take care of yourself. You'll get through this. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSorry you'r not feeling well JBR. Hope today is much better for you. Missed coming by.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having a hard day. My fingers are crossed that tomorrow will be better.
ReplyDeleteYou're in my thoughts,
NOS
Passing by to show some love. be gentle with yourself. Hugs
ReplyDeleteJBR,
ReplyDeleteSending hugs to you today. (((JBR))).
Blessings,
Tammy
Happy Wednesday!
ReplyDeleteTake good care,
You Deserve Happiness!
I think grieving is a good, healing thing. I just hope you don't get too deep into it that you get too flooded with the feelings. Try to pace yourself and be very kind and comforting for you. I know that feeling of being on the verge of tears all day. I know it is hard. Thinking of you and sending safe, warm, comforting hugs (((((((((JBR))))))))))
ReplyDeleteRecovery isn't always a piece of cake. The frosting is always the best part to eat, but then you have the substance that makes the cake. That is what holds it all together. Your substance is being worked on now.
ReplyDeleteHold on to God's truth. I was in the same boat as you are now a few years back so I know the pain your enduring.
We're much stronger than we think. You will succeed.
haha i wish we have a pill for this with no side effects. hiaz. thinking and praying for you dear.
ReplyDeleteHoping you're okay JBR.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you JBR, sending you loving and healing thoughts and hugs. Take care! *hugs* <3
ReplyDeleteHope you are ok dear one.
ReplyDeletexox, Catherine
Tears are cleansing and healing...let them flow freely when your eyes fill...
ReplyDeletePraying for you, JBR....
I remember these days. I have not had one in a while (THANK GOD) and I have taken PTO before to try and get my head together. All that I can say is that God is trying to cleanse you of all of the old and sad memories and events that you have gone through and just remember that you are so not alone. I know how it feels to be in doubt and to wonder if God is really listening too. However I want you to know that he is and that in time this walk will get easier and easier to handle. I am telling this to myself as well. Stay up girl. I will keep you in my prayers! xoxo! :o)
ReplyDelete