"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, May 03, 2010

EMOTIONALLY BAD DAY

Had a really bad day emotionally.

Have not had one of these so intense. Whew.

Was on the verge of tears most of the day. The pain of the memories which brought shame and guilt turned into grief, sorrow, and sadness as these emotions sat right on the edge of my heart today. Waiting for the opportunity to pounce all at once. Like I could feel them as the tears tried to well up. It took all I had in me just to hold it together today. I am exhausted. Emotionally spent.

I just barely made it home from work tonight and the flood gates just opened.

Needed to at least post about what is going on. I need an avenue to express my hurts besides to God who I wonder at times, if He is even listening.

Forgive me, I am battling back and forth with doubt at the moment.

I even knew something was up in my Spirit this morning when I awoke. I was even contemplating calling in and taking a PTO from work.

This deep cleaning from the Lord is obviously working.

Working too well.

Too painfully well.

36 comments:

  1. JBR sorry for your painful emotional day. Don't fight the emotions. Let them come. This is what you've been waiting for as you get closer. I'm excited for you even if your not. God Bless.

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  2. Praying for you, sweet friend!
    Hugs,
    andrea

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  3. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  4. Remember to keep moving forward - even when it feels like you might be moving backward. Don't trust that feeling. Trust God.

    Many prayers.

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  5. (((JBR)))

    Blessings,
    Tammy

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  6. Oh sweetie! I'm so glad to see that the Lord has been healing you and cleansing you of this overwhelming pain. I know it can seem so much at times, but remember that God is there for you... as are we! Rest up, dear one.

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  7. Tears are good, JBR. Very good. God loves you and deeply desires to heal you and it is obvious that the Holy Spirit is hard at work.

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  8. Praying that you'll feel better tomorrow. Of course God is listening.

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  9. Praying for you always, love you.

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  10. Hoping this helps clear out some of the debris and tomorrow will be the rainbow after the storm. It's normal to mourn the life you didn't get to live because of abuse.

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  11. Sorry that you were having a bad day My day did not start out so ggod as well.

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  12. Hey girl, keep your prayers going, He is listening. Sometimes though He needs us to go through these things, but He never gives us more than we can handle. You are stronger than you think! Kia kaha

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  13. JBR, big warm hug. I know it is tough going. No need to be strong all the time. Give yourself abreak and be gentle on yourself. Self care! Spoil yourself today with something nice, something smallish but just for you.

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  14. stuck-in-the-middleMay 04, 2010

    Hang in there JBR. Praying for you.

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  15. I know how you feel. Be encouraged. Tomorrow is a new day and remember there will be good days and bad days but God is with you through it all!

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  16. AnonymousMay 04, 2010

    Press on JBR. You'll still encounter bad days. You're only human so don't be surprised. God gives us strength when we can’t face another day. The Jews were discouraged. They felt like giving up. God will give you strength no matter how dark or bleak the future appears.

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  17. Sweetie your doing great! Let him carry you when you cannot walk. He wants so much to be with you.

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  18. Let the tears come JBR, even when it seems they will never stop. Remember that He is collecting all those tears in His bottle, that's how precious they are to Him. He is still your Great Physician!

    Hugs!
    Sonja

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  19. Tough stuff...thinking of you.

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  20. I will keep you in my prayers, my friend. ((((Hugs)))) to you.

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  21. Just take care of yourself. You'll get through this. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  22. Sorry you'r not feeling well JBR. Hope today is much better for you. Missed coming by.

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  23. I'm sorry you're having a hard day. My fingers are crossed that tomorrow will be better.

    You're in my thoughts,
    NOS

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  24. Hugs and prayers. ((((JBR))))

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  25. Passing by to show some love. be gentle with yourself. Hugs

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  26. JBR,
    Sending hugs to you today. (((JBR))).

    Blessings,
    Tammy

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  27. Happy Wednesday!
    Take good care,
    You Deserve Happiness!

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  28. I think grieving is a good, healing thing. I just hope you don't get too deep into it that you get too flooded with the feelings. Try to pace yourself and be very kind and comforting for you. I know that feeling of being on the verge of tears all day. I know it is hard. Thinking of you and sending safe, warm, comforting hugs (((((((((JBR))))))))))

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  29. AnonymousMay 05, 2010

    Recovery isn't always a piece of cake. The frosting is always the best part to eat, but then you have the substance that makes the cake. That is what holds it all together. Your substance is being worked on now.

    Hold on to God's truth. I was in the same boat as you are now a few years back so I know the pain your enduring.

    We're much stronger than we think. You will succeed.

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  30. haha i wish we have a pill for this with no side effects. hiaz. thinking and praying for you dear.

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  31. AnonymousMay 06, 2010

    Hoping you're okay JBR.

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  32. Thinking of you JBR, sending you loving and healing thoughts and hugs. Take care! *hugs* <3

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  33. Hope you are ok dear one.

    xox, Catherine

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  34. Tears are cleansing and healing...let them flow freely when your eyes fill...

    Praying for you, JBR....

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  35. I remember these days. I have not had one in a while (THANK GOD) and I have taken PTO before to try and get my head together. All that I can say is that God is trying to cleanse you of all of the old and sad memories and events that you have gone through and just remember that you are so not alone. I know how it feels to be in doubt and to wonder if God is really listening too. However I want you to know that he is and that in time this walk will get easier and easier to handle. I am telling this to myself as well. Stay up girl. I will keep you in my prayers! xoxo! :o)

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