"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, August 02, 2010


My game has consisted of going out of my way to please people in order to gain their attention, love and appreciation. Losing all sight of "who I am" in the process. Only because I would become who "they wanted" me to become. Or who "I thought" they wanted me to become.

I hurt. I was afraid. I acted. I wore a mask. I lied. I disregarded who God made me out to be. I was surviving in a world that some people hurt me in.....until now.

Until I realized I had personal problems and was SERIOUS enough now to want change. I was at the end of my rope. I thought about ending it. I desired to change. No more faking. I was tired of play-acting. My mind ached. My heart was dead. I wanted to become alive again. I wanted to be me. I wanted to be set free! I am now in the midst of playing my own game:

Proverbs 29:25: “Being afraid of people can get you into trouble” (NCV).

During a seminar I heard speaker Carol Travilla comment that some people “play to the grandstand instead of playing the game.”

“I think that’s what I’ve done,” I responded silently. I visualized myself up to bat with the game tied in the ninth. “If I do this right, everyone will love and appreciate me,” I thought. In my daydream as I searched the crowd for my family and friends’ reaction, I consistently missed each pitch.

Then I realized that by concentrating primarily on others’ responses to me I had thwarted God’s efforts to coach me into becoming the life player he had in mind for me to be. I genuinely wanted to stop playing this defeating game. This insight about myself gave me courage to move ahead — out of the workaholism, people pleasing and burnout. Focusing solely on another’s opinion can get us into trouble. We are responsible for playing our own game of life. God will help us meet this responsibility.

Lord, I’m often so afraid
of what someone else thinks about me
that I fail to be who you created me to be.
I’m sorry.
I want to stop living this way.
Please help me.

Copyright 2010 Joan C. Webb


  1. I can relate. I felt the need to perform, but I do believe that is broken off of me now.

    I'm glad you're going to play your own game now.


  2. JBR such an inspiring post to be who we were created to be by our creator. You bring so much to the blogging community with your thoughts and experiences. God Bless.

  3. Great post and reading! I can relate to all of this. Thank you.

    Wishing you well today and always, jbr :)

  4. I'm glad you're playing your own game and that you're able to be yourself a little more now. Who you are is lovely-- no need to hide it!

    Wishing you well,

  5. I'm glad to see you taking these steps to recovery. We will never make everyone happy. We find our selves trying to jump through all these hoops and nobody is happy, You keep going, you are going to get there.

  6. Can so much relate. I so much wanted to be liked on their measrurement. On the end i didnt measure at all. Now I dont need this anymore yet I still find myself pleasing and codependent. Not so much as before, yet still do it. However my awareness for these tppics has become reliable and this makes me feel pretty good.
    Wishing you a good start into this new week.

  7. i mde myself strong where i was weak...i made myself scary to hide it...i embrace the outcast until it tore me down...glad i escaped...

  8. JBR,
    So glad to hear you are "coming alive to all God created you to be." :) I like the analogy of playing your own game.


  9. Oh I played by a similar game plan. Thanks for sharing.

  10. Oh, yes...I've played that game before, too...struck out every time....

  11. Play your game, your way. I love you.