METHOD OF SURVIVAL

For many of us we had a method of survival while growing up in a broken, abusive, neglected home. Many of us were verbally, emotionally, physically and sexually abused and battered. We put our guard up. We closed down. Closed off. Built up walls to protect ourselves. We lost ourselves because of the abuse.

But for those of us who are on our journey to freedom, we are finding out that we are allowed to express who we are. Who we were intended to be by God. We are stepping out. Taking chances despite the fears of being hurt or rejected. We are letting ourselves become human again. Hallelujah!

The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. —Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Many of us grew up in situations that required us to be constantly on our guard. We became so keenly attuned to the people around us and how to please them or avoid their anger that we lost contact with our inner messages. Rather than developing skills for drawing upon our inner resources, we developed skills for looking outward and reacting to whatever confronted us. This method of survival may have been necessary in the past while we were under stress, but it doesn't allow us any rest or the possibility of simply following what we know and feel is right.

We are learning to know what we think and feel and to express it, even if it isn't always what others want to hear. We can be spontaneous now because we have room for mistakes in our lives. Our relationships are more reliable, and we have more energy from sincerity than from always striving to make a good appearance.

Today, it is more important for me to be sincere than to be on my guard.

Hazelden Foundation.