I find it extremely difficult still to accept a compliment from anyone. Growing up in an environment where I was shamed, put down, judged, criticized, laughed at, called stupid, left damaging effects. I certainly did not think I deserved anything. Or believed I would amount to anything.
Even though I am aware what my upbringing has caused me now, it is nevertheless still hard to believe I am so worthy of a praise. I continue to work on who I am and who I am in Christ. Work through my shame and guilt issues. Work on believing that I do deserve compliments. That I am worthy.
In the devotional below, the author shares how some of us just may feel that we do not deserve such attention and then make excuses. I am good at that.
Despite having trouble believing that I do deserve the compliment, I am getting better at least saying a quick "thank you." Now if I can look at the person and keep their gaze for two seconds when I reply "thank you," then that will be more of an improvement:
We sometimes find it difficult to accept a compliment. We may feel we don't deserve such attention, and point out reasons why the compliment is untrue. When we act this way, we show a lack of love for ourselves.
God teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Yet, before we can love anyone, we must believe we are worthy of the same love. No creature is undeserving of love, God reminds us of that. We can stop hiding behind feelings of unworthiness. There's nothing stopping us but ourselves. Sometimes it takes courage to say thank you when we get a compliment. Let's exercise that courage, and each time we do, we'll find our self-love growing.
When I thank people today, will I have the courage to smile, too?
Hazelden Foundation
i hear you...loving ourselves allows us to love others...you were formed the way you are by hands that knew what they were doing...and in his eyes you are beautiful...
ReplyDeleteI haven't met you yet, but to me, you have a beautiful soul, and when you have a beautiful soul, I'm certain that beauty is also shown outward. Embrace the compliment, you deserve it!!
ReplyDeleteJBR your reindeer picture is perfect. Even at this time of season. I could learn from you as well. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteAmen to what the above commenter said about you having a beautiful soul! I so agree!:)
ReplyDeleteJBR, you are worth ever compliment (and many more besides) that you hear...but I do understand, it is hard to accept compliments sometimes, especially with grace. So much easier to put ourselves down which is too bad.
I love how you share these things and your devotional seems really inspiring! What is it called if you don't mind me asking?
God bless you today JBR!
Hugs galore to you!
It is indeed hard for one who have gone through lots to take a simple compliment for what they are.But never doubt the fact that you deserve it.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very giving soul.In spite of your pains you never hesitate to share.You set an example to others who have pains of their own.
So take every compliment that come your way.They are yours to take.
Btw,that reindeer photo is a dear.
I hear you also! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteJBR, you are precious, beyond compare and all together lovely to Him and a tremendous blessing to others through your heart felt blog. I encourage you to receive His unending love and approval through His Word and often spoken by His Spirit through the compliments given you by others.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone gives us a genuine compliment and we receive it, it's like a seed received into the soil of our heart and soul that will grow and replace the weeds of unworthiness and self doubt. The enemy desires to keep us bound, oppressed and emotionally distant and shut down. He hates it when a believer receives and really believes the truth of who they are in Christ and how valuable they are to the Father and His kingdom. He knows that it takes only one anointed seed from the heart of the Father that is received and planted into the soil of our heart and cultivated and watered by His Word and Spirit to bear a harvest of freedom, complete wholeness and power in our life.
The key is in the receiving and believing! Receive and believe, sweet JBR! And watch the Holy Spirit completely transform you from the inside out!! In Him WE WIN!!
HE IS FAITHFUL!!
I don't know you personally but from what I'v read about you you seem genuine. Keep the faith. God will bless you and show you the way.
ReplyDeleteJoan Harding
The Peace of It All
JBR: Just know - you are worthy!!! Keep up the good work - you are always moving forward despite terrible obstacles. I admire your striving spirit!
ReplyDeleteI still have a hard time receiving compliments. Like you, I can say thank you now but compliments make me feel uncomfortable. Thanks for the excellent post, JBR! I am praying for you :)
ReplyDeleteYou are worthy because you are a child of God. I had a friend in HS who would say "thank you" to every compliment, I was so in awe of her. People don't randomly give out compliments so when they are said to you accept them and say "thank you!"
ReplyDeleteWow. I relate to a lot of what you've said here. Compliments are also difficult for me to take-- I either think the person is just being polite or is flat-out lying.
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that I think you have amounted to so much. I don't know what your job is, but you have a job and you're making a contribution. And even disregarding your job, you have made a SIGNIFICANT contribution to our blogging community here on the web. We are very fortunate to have you.
I hope you can accept that. :)
Wishing you well,
NOS
Thank you all for your comments, encouragement and prayers. Glad I am not alone in this.
ReplyDeleteI am having a rough time tonight emotionally. Very sad. But, that is ok. This too will pass.
Colleen, there is really no title to these devotionals for some reason. So, I try and get close enough to the subject and create one myself.
This is a good post JBR.
ReplyDeleteIt's true for me too. I have to learn that I am worthy.
You speak to my heart. But you know what? Smile as I say this to you, You're AWESOME because you're getting there one inch at a time without ever stopping. I am PROUD of you.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed.
ReplyDeleteI hear you.
Well, here is some practice:
JBR, you are a deeply beautiful woman.
There you go. Take it with a smile:)
-Jennifer
Hi my sister in Christ,
ReplyDeleteWanted to give you another one (((J.B.R.))). I like what the author said about having the courage to smile when I say thank you. I so need to work on that. I totally get where you're coming from. Early in my therapy, it was very hard to accept compliments. I was one of the people that came up with excuses for the person instead of saying thank you. It's still kind of hard. I don't think as much in my head anymore that they really don't mean it. It's more just an uncomfortable feeling like you said I don't deserve it, go focus on someone else. Thank you for your brave post.
Blessing with a Merry Christmas,
Amanda
wish could "do" something...more than leaving words on this white page...
ReplyDeleteYour worth is beyond anybody's recognition. Only he knows..and he's men n women.
Hope tonight passes faster for u (((JBR)))
Just sending a big hug to you tonight JBR! You are loved by many, and I'm one of them! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so faithful - I love your HUGS! Thanks for being You.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with compliments too. Healing is a process. HUGS help :)
Blessings, dear one
Patrina <")>><
warrior bride in boots
MAY THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON BE FILLED WITH JOY AND YOUR PROBLEMS BE ERASED FROM YOUR HEART TO ENJOY WHAT GOD HAS TO OFFER YOU, HIS LOVE.
ReplyDeleteDear JBR, please never doubt you worth to all of us that love you and to our heavenly Father who created you.
ReplyDeleteI believe that when all you hear as a child is negative talk then we believe our parents because after all they wouldn't lie to us.
Little did I know that I fell into their trap of selfish behavior. So of course it is hard for us to believe anything good about ourselves.
Let's rewrite that old tape and write a love song to ourselves. You are such a precious person and I will keep telling you until you believe it.
I love all of the positive comments from your friends. Believe it...you are loved and acknowledge it by simply saying "Thank you".
Love to you.
Pan
I have or had the same problem as you - it takes a lot of practice to just say Thanks. sandie
ReplyDeleteThis was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn...In counseling I 'practiced' just saying 'thank you'. My counselor would tell me, Angie, all you have to say is thank you. Before I would get a compliment and than point out all the negative, or say thank you but look at this or that..It was quite freeing (with practice) to finally accept those compliments and just say THANK YOU...
ReplyDelete