Last night after I hung up on my mum (would not tolerate her) because she once again began to criticize, judged and shame me into believing, and her words exactly, "how awful of a person I am" that I did not return my brother's Happy New Year telephone call, I realized how damaging her words over the years to me have had an effect on me.
She would criticize what I wore, how I looked, how I spoke, how I carried myself, how I would do something, etc. My father was critical as well. Both my parents not only criticized us kids, but each other.
I have carried on this characteristic as well. For that is all I knew and believed about myself. I not only could be critical of myself but of others as well. Only difference now, is I am in the process of believing that I am NOT this awful person and I realize how painful hurtful words can be and I want to put a stop to it. I continue to be a work in process. Will take time.
The phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!" couldn't be further from the truth. Words can be catastrophic, tearing through your heart like a tornado roaring down a residential street. While there may not be any visible destruction, the damage to your spirit can be just as devastating as a row of demolished homes.
Although the initial sting of harsh words is evident, you may be unaware of the lingering effects. Overly critical words leave you with hurt feelings and a poor self-image. Being wounded by someone with a critical spirit often changes how you see yourself. God holds us all accountable for how we use our words − especially the ones that hurt. Critical words don't come from a wise heart, nor do they reflect God's heart. Only He can heal your spirit and teach you how to respond to criticism. He's waiting to enrich your heart with encouragement, both for your good and for the good of others.
Hope for the Heart
words are incredibly hurtful, powerful. can lock you in a state of frozen emotions and deeds. now to learn how not to allow another that power of you...
ReplyDeletePraying for healing for you from the damage of the critical words you have had to endure. I one hundred percent, nothing hurts more than words. They are so very very powerful, more powerful than any physical thing we can do. What we say and what is said to us stays with us always I think.
ReplyDeleteGod bless JBR. You are a GOOD person.
Wow...I needed this today.
ReplyDeleteI realize how critical I can be
with the ones I love the most
....especially the ones I share
the hard stuff of life with.
I realize I become critical
when I'm afraid
and I think that person is
standing between me
and safety.
I wonder if all of our
criticism
comes from fear.
Hmmm.
Anyway, thanks for this
powerful reminder.
Praying for healing of our
hearts from all of the poison
of criticism.
-Jennifer
Either use of hurtful words or silence may both be damaging if not used at the right time...Have a great Tuesday JBR and praying you're remaining strong in His mighty power!
ReplyDeletewords have the power to cripple or heal...how we use them and how we allow others to use them around us says much...
ReplyDeleteWord can indeed cripple or heal. I am trying so hard to relearn the tapes I play in my head each day. My Mom never wanted me and the hurt from such rejection still mess with my mind all these years later. JBR you are doing an creditable job at healing yourself. I wish you the best this year.
ReplyDeleteWhen people pressure me to much that is when I have to walk away, return to silence, inhale and exhale in and out slow, smooth, and deeply, and call out to my Lord Jesus in order to get rid of anything that someone has said to me.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you JBR!!!
Lon
I can't believe your mom said those awful things to you. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how words can cut us. At least for me, the words that have been spoken to me have been more hurtful than anything physical that has happened to me.
Good for you for hanging up! That's taking care of yourself. And that's what's most important.
Wishing you well,
NOS
JBR, I like you. I really hope my words matter to you and that you feel good about you sooner!
ReplyDeleteJBR,
ReplyDeleteI wish people understood the power of words. Especially parents. Parents are called to encourage, teach and gently correct their children when they are young- not tear them down. I don't understand why your mother continues to cut you down but PLEASE don't take her words upon yourself. You know the Lord doesn't see you the way she does. You are in my prayers, my friend. I may be taking a break from blogging but I'm not taking a break from prayer :) God bless you, JBR.
Praying for you and this situation.
ReplyDeleteI have experienced similar, the scars run deep....