Today while stepping out around lunch time to go home early from work as I was just not feeling well, in the clear blue sky I looked up and saw a Sky-Writer finish the words, "Trust Jesus." Little did I know I would have to put this to the test a few hours later.
Short while ago I got off the phone with my mum who proceeded to tell me she fell in her apartment. This is the second time she fell. She fell once before in the parking lot. That one was worse where she hit her face.
My mum lives alone. Stubborn woman. Tile floors. I was against her putting tile down a few years back, but she insisted. She is 84. Anyway she landed on her hip. Yes the hip. Did not break anything this time. Thank you Lord. Scared her though. But not enough to change. She could not get up. Finally did. She still refuses to get a "life alert" or anything like that. Will not use a cane. Too proud.
She said she did not want to go to the hospital. She insists she did not break anything.
And of course I had to listen to her extreme fears and at the same time I am trying to be sympathetic I was also trying to claim that I needed to trust Jesus here. Because it is so very easy for me to tailspin into fear. I am on the verge of it. But I think I am more concerned at this moment. My emotional state and physical body have been bombarded these past couple of weeks now. When I get overwhelmed at these times I feel I am ready to breakdown.
Am I responsible for her? Sure I worry about her. Will always worry about her. But, I really have to leave "my fears" and that is what they are "my fears" (she has her own and I do not want to claim them) in the Lord's hands. I really am going to have to plead the blood of Jesus over my thoughts and attacks from the enemy. I need to keep my sanity. Truly what they say, "The Battlefield Is In The Mind."
At these times I feel so very alone and frighten. I become so very little. I feel I cannot take on any more.
And as little as JBR feels, she will go on with the Lord's help and direction.
Next....
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
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I hope you feel better soon, JBR. Prayers for your mother (and you of course). My dad falls all the time, too. He uses a cane but REALLY should be using a walker. It drives my mom crazy that he refuses to use it!
ReplyDeleteJesus is taking care of everything. I'm glad your Mum's hip is good. Stay calm. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in. Relax.
ReplyDeleteI know its hard with older parents
ReplyDeletevery hard
might you have siblings to help you maybe talk her into a home where she can live on her own but have a staff around?
JBR: my mom is 80 and has a series of small strokes. Sometimes you just need to keep your mind clear, not thinking of what might happen, but focusing on what needs to be done NOW. Sometimes it is insisting that they go to the emergency room - sometimes it is just reassurance like you did today. It is wonderful that your mom is able to get around at 84. Obviously she has great bones!!!! Thats a good thing!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is scary stuff about your mom falling. She really needs that life-alert. I hope she is really feeling okay. They are so stubborn at the age. My dad is 87 and he refuses to get meals on wheels yet he doesn't eat well enough.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and your mother in my prayers.
jbr hun you do not have to respect the person but do respect the OFFICE of mom
ReplyDeletethe way I was able to during a very difficult time (if you know my story I do not mean that lightly)was to actually pretend that she was Jesus and I was visiting HIM in prison.
Were it not for the wisdom of the scriptures and the humility of heart I could never have done it.
It changed my life. I started to pull apart from the rheum in her presence and be like in a capsule around her.It made me see her heart. It is a mucky mess to get through yes. Just pretend.They say fake it till you make it.
I'm sorry this is so difficult. It sounds like you've been put in a tough situation-- trying to care for someone who doesn't want the kind of care you're trying to give. Hang on. You've already made so much progress in your relationship with your mom, and I'm certain it will continue.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
((((JBR)))) Sorry about your Mum...take care of yourself my friend.
ReplyDeleteLet God lead your every foot step.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your mum is okay, and that you realise you need to take care of yourself and your sanity as your number one priority.
ReplyDelete