"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, September 07, 2011


I have read this devotional before. Early on in my journey. Re-reading it today, it touches and hits home much more deeply now.

The emotional pain for me has become more evident in the words below. I certainly can relate to becoming a functional orphan when my parents divorced when I was eleven and I was forced to move away from my father. The feelings of neglect and abandonment, especially by father. The tremendous hurt, shame, guilt and extreme emptiness I felt and carried for so many years.

Through it all I am having to hang on to hope. The promises of what the devotional says. That my Savior understands the acute pain that orphans experience. Lord I ask for the strength to see me through my journey to where You want me to go.

Although, still hard at times, and right now very scary, it is becoming apparent that He does care and that I will never be without a family, because He has adopted me.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

There are many ways to become an orphan. Some children become orphans when their parents die. Others become functional orphans when their parents divorce. Other people become orphans as a result of their parent's emotional unavailability. Anyone who has been neglected, abandoned, or abused by people who were important in their life will appreciate what it is like to be an orphan. It is a painful and lonely experience. Orphans doubt their ability to sustain intimate relationships and find it difficult to trust others. Experiences of abandonment leave us full of loneliness, fear and self-loathing.

Jesus understood the acute pain that orphans experience. In this text he responds to that deep pain with a promise of relationship. "I will not leave you as orphans," Jesus says, "I will not abandon you. You will not be without family because I will come to you."

In Jesus we see most clearly that God is attentive and available to us when we feel abandoned or neglected. God respects our needs and responds to our desires for relationship. God calls us out of the brokenness and dysfunction of our very personal orphanage into the community and fellowship of God's family. We are no longer orphans. We are God's children.

Lord, I know about being an orphan.
I know about abandonment.
Thank you for understanding my fear of separation.
Thank you for understanding my need for your presence.
Be present today with me.
I want to spend time with you.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan


  1. He is close and always there for us. Even when we feel abandonment is everywhere.

  2. I have been a functional orphan most of my life and recently became a true orphan. It is such a lonely feeling sometimes. Thank you for sharing this today; it really spoke to me.

  3. JBR,
    I hear you, my friend. May God heal all those hurts within you and fill you with the love you didn't get as a child. Hugs! You are always in my prayers.