"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


I still have not been feeling 100% physically. Feeling at times down-right awful. Wanting to end it all.

I was sick last week. Missed three days of work. Got an infection in my gums/teeth as well.

So, I went today to the Urgent Medical facility and found that my b/p is still very high. 170/102. They upped my b/p meds from 10 mg to 20 mg. And put me on Amoxicillin for the infection in my mouth.

I have been claiming faithfully the Word of God for healing for over two weeks now. Finding all the healing scriptures I can in the Bible. Professing them out loud. But, with my background of fear, it is awful hard to completely believe I am healed. I want to so bad. But, the attack from the enemy can be so strong at times. Not only trying to believe I am healed, but at the same time rebuking satan and the unbelievable fears he puts on me with "I am dying." I have been under it seems a never ending attack from satan!

Anyway despite my high tolerance for pain and determination..... matters seemed to get worse today. So, I decided to go to the doctors once again. Leaving work early. Ugh.

Part of me felt failure! Blaming myself that I was not strong enough in my faith. Telling God at one point, "Lord I have been trying it Your way. Confessing healing. Trying to be patient. Trying not to fear. I want so bad to believe. But, I felt I could not wait any longer with the symptoms."

So I asked God to please help me to understand that it was okay to go this route for help. And what I felt was impressed upon my heart were these words, "Some times you need a jump start to get you going." Meaning, get the meds JBR. Take better care of yourself. Keep confessing you are healed from any future ailments. And by all means JBR you did nothing wrong. You are not a failure because you sought out help.


  1. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well, JBR. Seeking help when you're sick is the right thing to do and God uses physicians to help heal us all the time. I hope you feel better soon, my friend. I am praying for you!

  2. amen amen amen to Take better care of yourself. Keep confessing you are healed from any future ailments. And by all means JBR you did nothing wrong. You are not a failure because you sought out help.

  3. JBR, it might help eliminating the word failure too....
    YOU DESERVE help, medication, a jump start and by all means as far as I understand the God of your understanding, he does expect you to make decisions and take actions on your behalf.
    You are deserving like everyone else. You deserve Period
    Big warm hug

  4. I'm glad you went to the doctor's again JBR. Medicine is also from God I would think. Hope you're better real soon.

  5. JBR,
    I am healed from RA BUT I take medicine. I am on all the very nasty stuff. The difference? Before seeking healing from God the meds were not working. After seeking help from God and claiming health, the meds ARE working. I too get attacked from Satan and you just need to keep on rebuking him.
    You are NOT a failure. You are a chosen one, dearly loved and unique. You are special.

    Keep rebuking and claiming health.


  6. There is nothing wrong with going to the doctor. Wasn't Luke a doctor? God doesn't think you are a failure. He knows your heart and he knows your struggles. He loves you sooooo much. Look at yourself through God's eyes. You will see such a beautiful person.


  8. JBR I'm so very sorry. You know the word “Physician” is not mentioned in the Bible. Neither the word Physician nor the word Doctor. JBR you did the right thing. And just by reading your post about the impression you received, I know that you believe that God can certainly perform a miraculous healing. You also showed you would need to change the way you were living, eating, thinking, acting and handling stress. You've demonstrated your heart has been changed. God will honor this. God Bless and get better.

  9. I lived under a heavy yoke of religious performance for soooooo much of my life;
    feeling that it was my responsibility to confess and believe and "be healed"....that it was up to ME.
    I actually bought into the tormenting lie that
    "Jesus has already done all He is going to do...the rest is up to you."
    Oh thank God for His amazing grace and for freedom
    from that oppressive dogma.
    It's such a deceptive lie....the idea that we have to "faith" our way into what we need or desire.
    Just control issues dressed up pretty for sunday school.
    But stil all about control.
    I think the Lord is a fantastic shepherd. Period.
    He is the faithful one. He is altogether faithful.
    Because He is, we are safe and our job is to rest
    in His more-than-enoughness.
    Simple trust, baby.
    And only He can take us there.
    Even our childlike faith is a gift from Him.
    It's all about grace.
    Rest easy, friend. His grace is sufficient for you!
    Love and ripe grace to you,

  10. Don't even go down this path with yourself. Your faith is admirable/honorable/impressive!

  11. Sorry your not feeling well. Praying that God heals you completely.