"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Saturday, January 21, 2012


Last night I attended my Friday night worship. I left to go there before my mum's nightly phone call to me to make sure I was alive. I knew in my spirit if she did not get me on the phone she would panic. I did not tell her I was going, because really, I do not want to. I am a grown woman who does not need "mummie's approval" for things. But she still thinks I do. The worst that could happen was she would have received a phone call from me a few hours late. But, she is so set in her ways. Especially if it is after dark her fear increases. So, I continue to set painful boundaries that probably hurt her more than me.

It was not easy the couple of hours I was gone. I had her on my mind, envisioning the left messages on my recorder when I came home. I really did not enjoy myself at worship.

Sure enough, upon arrival at home there were three panic messages on my recorder. I decided on my drive home that I was not going to return her call right away. Only because I knew she would not let it rest until she heard my voice and would call again. Did not take long. The fourth incoming call came in. I picked up the phone and you would have thought someone had died. Well in all honesty, in her mind she feared the worst about me. We have gone down this road so many times and she refuses to trust God in this area. So the reprimands begin. The guilt trip of "me" making her blood pressure rise because we did not have our nightly call. The usual guilt trips.

Well, like always when I cannot make any headway with my mum, I politely but forcefully tell her that I was not taking on her guilt issues and am ending this conversation now and would speak with her tomorrow. She was still crying and going on as I hung up on her. My mum does not see herself as fearful and throwing guilt trips my way. But, that is how she controlled me all my life. I am choosing now to confront my mum (and IT IS HARD) and not run away!

Some of you may think I am hard on my mum. My mum is a very strong and stubborn individual. Very controlling.

When I spoke with her this morning, she was a bit cold.

Joyce Meyer shares on overcoming fear. Funny thing, my mum watches her daily. But, I do not think what Joyce shares my mum thinks applies to her.

Overcoming Fear

First, let me remind you that fear is not from God but from Satan. Second Timothy 1:7 says, For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Every time you feel fear in your life, it's a manifestation of the kingdom of darkness. I often say in my teachings that fear is the "master spirit." It's the spirit Satan uses to try to rule God's people and keep them from coming under the leadership of the true Master, Jesus Christ.

Multitudes of people never fulfill the call of God on their lives simply because every time they try to go forward, the devil uses fear to stop them. Is he using fear to stop you? Satan uses fear to keep people from enjoying life. Fear brings torment, according to 1 John 4:18, and you surely can't enjoy life and be tormented at the same time.

I want to encourage you to take an inventory in the fear department. What are you afraid of? Are there any areas in your life that are being stifled because of fear? Satan is always going to bring fear against us at various times. It’s one of his major weapons—not a cap gun, but a cannon. The thing we all must learn is how not to "fear the fear." The devil brings fear, but you can choose not to bow your knee to it. David said,"What time I am afraid, I will…trust…in You" (Psalm 56:3). I believe we can say that when God leads you to step out in an area to do something new, or leads you to make a bigger commitment, you may (or probably will) feel fear. However, if you're sure God told you to do it, put your trust in Him and go forward.

I have to apply this same principle to my life all the time. Years ago, we realized that we really needed more office space. At the same time, we needed more employees, which would require more desks, computers, phones, etc. We had a choice. We had prayed for growth so we could help more people. And everything did increase—resource orders, speaking engagements, incoming phone calls, mail, etc. It was God's timing, and He was moving. We had to make a decision to either stand still in fear or move with God. If we had not been willing to rent more space and hire more people, we couldn’t have kept up with the growth. I can tell you for sure that fear tried to stop me. I heard things like, "Joyce, you're getting in over your head." "That's too much money to spend." "What if the increase doesn't continue?" I'm sure you know the recording; you've probably heard it also.

We certainly don't want to move in the flesh or out of God's timing, but when God is moving, you can't be afraid to move with Him. In the situation I described to you, I had a choice to be led by my head or follow the leading of my spirit. Satan brings fear to your mind and emotions. You may even physically shake, but let the Holy Spirit lead you. Don't fear the fear, and what time you're afraid, trust in Him.

Some common fears are fear of lack, death, loneliness, people, authority, commitment, heights, germs, closed-in spaces, airplanes, dogs, cats, failure, rejection, being laughed at, and even fear of being attractive. We went to the library and got a typed list of known phobias—it was four pages long. It even included phobaphobia, which is the fear of being afraid. It seems that the list is endless.

It convinced me even more of how extensive Satan's work is in this area. Isaiah 41:10 says, Fear not, for I am with you. I believe God works gently with us to bring us out of bondage and into liberty. If you've been afraid of something and desire to be free, the time will eventually come when you'll have to face your fear and not run away from it. Just take Jesus' hand, acknowledge that He is with you, and do it. If you're afraid of people with authority, the time will come when you'll have to confront an authority figure and not cower in fear. God will have arranged the time. He'll be there, but you'll have to choose whether to go through or run away.

If you're at one of these crossroads in your life, let me encourage you to go forward. Don't stand still in terror, but take His hand and go forward. Remember, fear torments and God wants to deliver you from all of your fears.

(Joyce Meyer)


  1. JBR your mother needs to take hold of the truth of God. She is inviting the spirit of fear, which is Satan into her life more than God. Don't feel guilty about yourself and your boundaries. You're trying to break free from your past. God will help you. God Bless.

  2. Good for you JBR standing up to your rights. I've printed out that article. Its a good one. Thanks for the encouragement.

  3. I am a mother of 4 who tends to panic. My 24 year old son, Ryan, committed suicide almost 2 years ago. Today, God has showed me that I cannot protect my children with fear but must rest in the knowledge that He has a perfect plan for each of them and can keep them safe. It has been a journey but today I am free of worry and the constant fretting over my children. Please give your mum my information. She is wasting her life and separating herself from Christ with the way she is living. It will do nothing but hurt both of you.

  4. Joyful, thank you for sharing your story and I am very sorry for your loss.

    I had an older brother who also took his life. My mum uses that as one of her excuses which gives her the "right" to fear and worry. Appreciate you honesty and safe hugs.

    Onthewaynow and Sometimes, thank you for your comments. You both seem to be avid readers of mine and I appreciate that. Blessings.

  5. I love this post JBR! It strengthened me all the more knowing I made the right decision to face the fear they were trying to instill in me from my workplace. I am grateful that the Lord reminds us that when we battle, it is not ours but His and that He made His weapons available. Glory be to God!

    Even if you didn't explain about the 4th ring and the "guilty trips", I could understand and imagine what you are going through every time. I see it from a close friend whose mom does not mean bad for her but in reality, her being constant watchful of things she does and say, despite her being an adult, stress my friend all the more and becomes a burden every time. The process of facing this fear and overcoming it is truly not easy. But by God's grace, we can and I pray you will. I pray your mom will realize that you are not disrespecting her in any way but just placing a boundary to not let that kind of fear enter into your hearts and minds. Be strong in the Lord's mighty power JBR!

  6. Hey Rosel, glad this post encouraged you. The nightly calls from my mum usually have no substance to them. She just wants to hear my voice. And literally make sure I am alive. Most times our conversation lasts less than a minute. Because there is just so much news you can share. And when you have someone who calls you four or five times through out the day, leaves little to talk about. Just a control thing now and that she is very lonely.

  7. Hi JBR,

    I am sad to hear that your mum is so possessive and worrying so much over you. Have you thought of seeing your T with your mum? Maybe your T can help.

    Today is national hug day in Canada, so (((Hugs))) and (((Hugs))) to you dear.


  8. I can understand the boundary setting with your mom even though it is difficult. Since my mother has moved in with me I've had to talk to her about some things I would normally ignore. But I've realized they have too much impact on me to ignore. It isn't easy. Good for you setting your boundaries.

  9. Your mother sounds similar to my own, the control part of it. She makes people (me) feel bad for things quite consistently (although more when I was younger). I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself and create the boundaries that you needed. That matters!

  10. Thanks for the post JBR. I think I needed to read this, in case you haven't seen my latest post, you'll know why. Well good luck to you. Stay encouraged!


  12. Fear is such an ugly enemy with strong arms! Praying for you sweet friend and your mom

  13. I don't believe your too hard on your mother. She has issues that she needs to control. Did you know there is a pill that they give older adults for fears after dark?
    They call the problem "Sundowners"
    Anyway that may not be her issue but her reactions are way to much stress for you. ((HUGS)) My brother is 65 and he is always saying "I think dad will be upset with me if I do this/that" and I keep saying your an adult! Stop worrying about what dad thinks.