"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

TAKING BETTER CARE OF MYSELF

I have been pretty disciplined since being off.

Knowing ahead of time the possibility of being let go, I would have the opportunity to 'catch my breath' from all the pressures of last year and be able to relax. My whole body and mind have been so tired.

The wheels were already turning in my head before the final word came down from the "higher-ups." If I was to be let go, which I was for some of you new readers, that I would have the time to take better care of myself.

It has already been close to two weeks now that I was let go. Each day I have been walking outside. Presently I am up to 2-3 miles a day. Not walking those miles at one time. That is the luxury of having all this free time now. I walk for a 1/2 hour then go home. Rest up a bit. Then go out again. I am glad I like to walk. Breaks up my day too.

I usually walk about 4 to 5 times a day. One of those walks is to the near by hospital where I live. There I pick up a well balanced meal for the day in their cafeteria to take home. Was not eating well this last year due to stress issues. I do not like to cook. Let alone for myself. If someone cooks for me, then I am happy. I am determined to at least eat healthier now.

"Why was I let go?" I still ponder that question. Desiring to leave this job was the last thing I wanted to do. I was content. Planned on retiring there. But.......

I knew 2011 was a very stressful year for me. It seemed I was never ever able to recoil and bounce back. I needed to rest. One challenging trial after another. Put a WHOLE LOT of strain on me mentally and physically.

1) My department at work was forced to move to a whole new location. Making my travel time longer. So the stress of the move.

2) PPP thew me "big time" under the bus the same time of the move. Then not speaking with them for over four months. I eventually forgave them. I finally wanted to. Especially having the unction in my spirit that my time was short at my work place for me and I wanted to make amends.

3) My department splitting after a couple of months in our new location. All of a sudden one day having a new boss. Right there I knew I was in trouble.

4) My mum being rushed to the ER for her erratic heart beat. Finally getting that under control after being in the hospital five days.

5) Discovering while in the hospital by a routine x-ray that she had a growth on one of her kidneys. All signs pointing to cancer. Major stress.

6) My mum having major surgery to remove what was a miracle the "non-cancerous growth" a couple of months later.

7) Having to take a week off from work to tend to my mum when she came home from the hospital.

8)Learning I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and having to go on meds.

9) The-change-of life making its grand painful appearance. Why not! Everything imaginable was happening to me.

10) Training someone for my job. All along I was to pretend that 'nothing was happening.'

And finally,

11) Being let go from my job after 4.5 years. Yes, I had quite a year.

I think a lot of the reason why the Lord had me let go was "I was just too physically and mentally tired" from what last year brought me. I wanted so desperately to rest. I also believe I have arrived at a different stage in my life where the Lord desires for me to trust Him even more. Get to know Him even more intimately. That would be awesome!

Sure I questioned, "Lord I could still trust you while I was working there." No. Apparently He saw fit, right now for me to be unemployed and trust Him for my next venture.



10 comments:

  1. My gosh JbR you've been though hell. Dang look what you've been through and your still standing. That's a testament in itself. I'm amazed and encouraged. Eat healthy and regain your strength.

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  2. VERY NICE TO READ THAT YOUR TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF. DON'T LET THE PAST YEAR PUT A DAMPER ON THE PLANS GOD HAS FOR YOU THIS YEAR AND BEYOND. SO MANY TIMES WE WANT ANSWERS TO THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND. ONLY TO FIND OUT SOMETIMES THAT GOD WAS ACTUALLY PROTECTING US FROM SOMETHING WE DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE ABOUT.

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  3. I'm sorry to hear about your trials, the past year was awful for me as well! & I plan on taking better care of myself & being stronger, I hope the best for you as well! xo

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  4. Waytogo JBR. We all can leran from you and take better care of ourselfs. giving you a shout out Well Done.

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  5. JBR, You were let go from your job 2 weeks ago. I can't believe it's been that long since I checked up on you. I've been in such a fog of pain. thanks so much for praying for me. As I will do for you also. God is in control. I'm gld you are taking better care of yourself.

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  6. Yes you've certainly have had a tough year with so much going on. It's good to see how you are trying to look after yourself. And it's really good that you now have some much needed time to rest. Thinking of you

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  7. The verse that came to my mind as I read through your post was Romans 8:1 -

    "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

    Sometimes taking off that old man and putting on the new man has to be done over and over, and we should never feel guilty for that! At least the attempt is being made, right? Thank God for his Grace!

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  8. JBR I'm proud of you! Take things one day at a time and reward yourself for each accomplishment. The steps may seem small, but they’ll quickly add up. And for all the energy you put in to your getting stronger, you’ll get back much more in return. God Bless.

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  9. We are all a work in progress. God isn't through with you and HE will NEVER "Let you GO."

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  10. I am so happy to hear that you are taking care of yourself and walking several times a day. This may be just what you needed to get your body healthy and de-stressed.

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