"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, February 23, 2012


Tonight I shared with my t. a memory I had when I was 12-13. The one and only time I spent the summer month's with my dad after my parents divorce.

The memory I had two nights ago was in vivid detail. I think menopause brought it on. The topic of the memory of 1970, although dangerous in itself at the time, making crank phone calls (I was bored). Which today would be equivalent to posting all your info on Facebook. This one particular crank call soon changed to a more personal/sexual telephone relationship with a married male (late 20's early 30's). Making arrangements of meeting up with him after a couple of weeks non-stop calling him. I was intrigued,very curious and starving for attention. Mind you I am only 13. A very immature, giggly 13 who had David Cassidy posters plastered on her wall.

Well the time came where I ended up riding my bike to the rendezvous we agreed upon (but observing from a distance, as I was scared). Finding out later in one of our phone conversations afterwards, he was a bit peeved I was not in the exact spot we agreed upon, as he did show up and noticed a couple of girls at a distance. (I brought my girlfriend at the time for support). He never approached us.

When I look back on this I see how so very close I probably came to meeting up with a pedophile. That being scary in itself, and despite the ordeal, I believe the memory recall was to reiterate two points:

(1) The two months that I spent with my dad, he was hardly around. I never put two and two together until now. I really did not realize that until I had this recall so vividly of how free I had access to the house. It seemed I was always alone in the house. Had access to every room, the liquor cabinet and basically could do what I wanted. Which I did. My dad was not at home. He was out with a girlfriend. He had no idea what trouble I could have gotten into.


(2) Showed me I was seeking other avenues of affection and attention at such a young age. My dad was not even there for me. Wo---- Not realizing what we know today about pedophiles only God's hand of mercy actually protected me back then.

Even back in the late 60's early 70's you could still keep your doors unlocked. So I had freedom of coming and going as I pleased. Although my older brother showed me how to jimmy a door lock if I ever did get locked out.


  1. ,,,that is very scary...and you know I had a memory a few years back about a guy pulling in our driveway while I was waiting for the bus. He asked me if I wanted a ride to school as he would be glad to take me. A little voice told me, NO and so glad I did. I often wonder what would have happened if I'd gotten into that car...
    thanks so much for sharing your heart and thoughts...

  2. I am sure you acted out because of your abuse at a young age. You are right this could have turned out a lot worse than it did. God does protect us at times when we are not even asking for His protection.

  3. Amazing how God protects even when we are not aware of danger.

  4. It is wonderful you didn't go meet him alone. I know as a young girl I was desperate for a man's attention. That leads to all kinds of trouble.

  5. I am so happy that you did not end up meeting that man...how scary. It's surreal to look back and see instances that could have gone very differently in our lives. I am thankful that this circumstance ended the way it did. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. xx

  6. Thank you for sharing this memory. I'm so glad that you didn't meet him.. It's positive that the memory has helped you to analyse your experiences.. Take gentle care.


  8. JBR as scary as the event was it showed you in your memory your two points you're trying to bring up for your own healing benefit. Interesting how God does things huh. Jog the memory for something completely different. I hope this memory resolves something for you now. God Bless.

  9. So thankful for the Protection of an almighty God.....indeed how very close to death you came....sends chills through me ....

  10. Oh wow Jbr. Your lucky and were protected. Probably back then law enforcement would not pay as much attention to creeps like they do today.

  11. Oh, you were protected! I do remember the prank/crank calls! My parent's would have been very upset if they had ever found out!

    Even though your memories may be painful, it's good to remember.

    God works everything to our good!

  12. First time visiting your blog.I enjoyed reading your story because it so reminded Me of more than a few times while growing up I was beside so much danger.Our Lord is Awesome indeed more than mere words can express.Always nice to "meet a new sister in Christ.Although my blog site is a lot different than yours please do come for a visit if you like.Denise

  13. This gave me chills. I have to say that even though you may have not known God then He was definitely there to protect you. So smart of you to bring a friend. I can only imagine what could have happened and what a creep he must have been!

  14. What a very scary encounter that would have been. I am so glad God was protecting you.


  15. Frightening. Made me think of the verse that God will be a Father to the fatherless. He was watching over you,and I'm so thankful. Your writings have been such a blessing to me.