My hormones are all over the place these days!!! I can be up one moment to down the next. Menopause is not fun!
I am learning now to go with whatever feeling/emotion I am experiencing and not fight it. One day I could be talking about love and today, it is about deep emotional wounds. So bear with me......
We all have wounds from our past. Some of us deeper than others. Some of us heal quicker than others.
My life was ruled by fear growing up. From being sexually abused early on to dealing with my parents divorce and the split up of our family when I was 9.
I do not think counseling was an option back then. Not readily talked about when it came to trauma for children. My mum was too proud. Somehow I guess the parent thinks the child is as strong as they are in a crisis and would get over it 1,2,3. But, my mum's idea of "getting over it" was to drink. She drank more readily to numb her pain. I had nothing to numb mine but to stuff and suffer alone. I did not even have a mum to console me as she was in her own stupor of guilt.
Didn't my parents even stop to think the pain they themselves were experiencing as older adults would be ten times worse for the children who had no concept of what pain was?
I am so grateful that I know the Lord now! He is healing me daily from my past wounds. Beginning to grow in His love. Thank you Daddy!!
JBR we're patient with you. God's patient with you. Write whatever your heart desires at the time. This is your journey and your helping so many along the way. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteHow blessed we are to know Jesus and His power to set us free but I know Christians who won't give Him their pain and they are miserable.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry what happened to you JBR. You found help in God and thatt's the most important thing now. Continue your healing and write what you want. You encourage me.
ReplyDeleteI see God's redeeming love and grace at work in your life in those last few sentences! I'm so glad you could write them!
ReplyDeleteTHE POWER OF GODS LOVE IS WHATS' GOING TO GET YOU THROUGH. YOUR WOUNDS HAVE BEEN HEALING A LONG TIME AND THEY WILL CONTINUE TO. THE LORDS LOVE IS LIKE A SALVE.
ReplyDeleteHow's it going with not fighting your emotions? Is it freeing in anyway?
ReplyDeletesmooches,
Larie
Such a rough childhood. :( Divorce is really hard on children and yet it is happening even more today.
ReplyDeleteHon this is your spot to write and get it out. I am glad that you are letting us ride the waves with you. Reading through this journey of release for you helps so many of us, me too. I am seeing things I didn't realize even bothered me.
Blessings girl,
<><
Praying relief, refreshment, and continued healing for you, my friend.
ReplyDeleteHang in there JBR...It's not fun for the wounds to be exposed but I must say it's all worth it if it's under His Light!!!
ReplyDeleteI pray God's healing hand will touch you. It sounds like your mother's pain was too much for her to bear. I guess it can be that way for any of us. I think you are doing a wonderful job of following God and growing in grace.
ReplyDeleteI too, was a stuffer. I am praising God for feeling emotions in a healthy way! It is okay to be mad or sad in the same way that it is okay to be happy. As long as we don't let our emotions rule us, I say we should just thank God that we can feel them all!!
ReplyDeleteUps and downs are so frustrating. I am glad that you have your spiritual life now and that you feel yourself getting stronger everyday!
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