"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, May 09, 2012


Recovery can be exhausting. I certainly have shared many times in my blog how exhausted I had become both mentally and physically. How utterly painful getting in touch with my feelings had been at times. So, I know this statement holds true. Can you relate?

Through our painful recovery, God promises to be with us every step of the way to see us to our transformation. This can be hard for some of us, since we did not ask to have this pain in the first place. We were innocent children. We may Never understand God’s reasoning this side of heaven.

God knows and understands our pain, our tears, our anger, our frustrations, our hate, our rage, our seething, our loathing, our confusion, our temper, our questioning, our doubting, our resenting, our cursing, our blaming, our rebelling, our SI, our addictions, our mental illnesses, our quitting and through all of this He cares and loves us! Sorry for all the "ours." But, it makes it more personal if I write it that way.

Believing that God cares can be a BIG pill to swallow for some of us. But some how, there has to be a place in our journey that we flat out have to begin to TRUST and give our pain and hurt to Him totally. Not just a little, but all. I am NOT saying this is easy, as it is not! BUT....I know it can be done. As it has begun in me.

Ever since I lost my job earlier this year, the overwhelming distractions that came with it have ceased. Thank You Lord! I honestly believe that God had to use drastic measures to get my attention for His next venture for me. Letting this layoff happen. Even if I did not want it to! I felt physically ill daily from the stress of my job and the people I was dealing with. To this day I honestly believe I was slowly killing myself and did not know what to do?

These past five months have been the quickest I have emotionally healed since the start of my journey nearly four years ago. It is like I went from first gear right over to fifth. Nevertheless, it has not been easy.

From day one when I was let go I said to God that I would seek Him more than ever. "Since I had the time now." And I have done that. Scared and all. Not having any idea what I was asking. Only to find out as I went along.

I literally had to step out of my comfort zone and do things I would never do. Like approach people, converse, pray and for some ask for forgiveness. I would never of done this in the past because of my own selfishness and fears. Fearing consequences of possible rejection and ridicule. I amaze myself at times with the boldness the Lord has given me to step out. And the freedom!

All I can say, "It is NOT me!"

Satan and his thugs are pulling out all the stops. Causing new distractions in the form of horrific fear and painful physical ailments. However, as difficult these challenges are, I am becoming so much stronger in overcoming his lies! Finding truth and strength in my Heavenly Daddy and His Word! The Word is powerful and what wins!


  1. It's wonderful to read how God is working in your life. It is a hard journey for those of us who were abused. We lost our trust and innocence. We see life through the eyes of that child in us and life seems cruel and frightening. But God will help us each day. We do have a witness and message to help others who are suffering with these problems. God bless.

  2. HI there - I just wanted to say hi "Grace", beautiful name, beautiful you
    Love Gail

  3. What a great post...a time just to stop and reflect on the big picture...where God has brought you from to where you are at now...thankfully, He continues with us on this journey every step of the way until we reach Glory! You are such an obvious blessing to many! I felt like I wasn't going to focus on your name, but I feel led to today. Through this blog, through the realness of who you are, you extend grace, His grace to many others.

  4. It is often so hard to remember that we are NEVER alone. Blessings in your journey. It sounds particulat painful.

  5. To see God at work in the midst of circumstances is a blessing.

  6. It's terrific to see how you are looking past your circumstances and into God's bigger plans for you. He knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11

  7. This is an amazing post, Grace/JBR (just so you'd know I'm speaking to you ;). I'm glad you used the word our so many times because it's the truth and I hope it sinks into all "our" hearts.

    God bless you, my sweet friend.

  8. First JBR... Grace...

    Our 7th grandchild was just born and her name is Grace Humility!! So you know I already have a soft spot for that name. I asked my son... 'what if she grows up into a little 'toot' and her middle name is Humility... we both smiled, as it might well happen. They wanted her to have a name with character traits built into it. :)

    Second, I don't care if your name is Mickey Mouse, you are my sister and I love your heart!

    I know when God took me through a time of repentance and restoration years ago, He made my weak areas the strongest, and turned my old habits upside down, as only He can. So it doesn't surprise me at all that you have gotten new courage and strength... it's all part of His work in your life.

    GO JBR... GRACE!!! :)

  9. How true that when we are facing events in our lives that seem to not make sense, that is actually the opposite for the Lord Who sees it all and what may sound like a disaster to us actually He is turning around for good...I believe that as I also have lesser hours at work now but it turned out to be a bigger blessing though those powerful people at work think they are hurting me bad. They want to know why I am not picking up hours when there is a big shortage of staff. They can't answer me when I tell them that it was not my choice to go Per Diem but them. What can they say? They are the ones who planned that and it backfired...

    While I'm enjoying my time, learning to endure, counting the many blessings that otherwise would have gone unnoticed. All the praise and glory to our good Father in heaven.

    So...it may hurt sister but keep going because God is always faithful and is always by our side. I think that's okay you use "ours". We are all in the same boat even if we are sailing in different seas. God bless and strengthen you always JBR! I mean...sister GRACE.

  10. God really heals us the pain and the heartaches . Sometimes it takes time, but still God is working. Bless you :)

  11. It is amazing how things can change for the good when we allow God to lead us. You're right though, it is really difficult to let go of control like that.

  12. Job 38: 1, has always been a real comfort to me:
    "Then the Lord spoke to Job out
    of the storm/whirlwind."

  13. Love this truth... "But some how, there has to be a place in our journey that we flat out have to begin to TRUST and give our pain and hurt to Him totally. Not just a little, but all." Praising God for the way that He has reached you and for the way that you listen... it is not easy, but He never said it would be, right?! Just said we wouldn't have to go it alone... you're testimony is a great witness to that! Blessings!

  14. So glad you have come so much further in your healing these last few months. One thing I know for sure is that when we are in pain or living a way that really is not good for us, we have a sick tendency to stay there. We stay because it is familiar and change is scary. But in reality change is what we need and once we move forward it's not quite as scary as we made it out to be.

  15. Thank you for your encouraging post about God making us stronger through the hard times until we are finally transformed. I'm praying for extra strength for you as God remakes you. You are a strong woman and a constant inspiration to me. Love and Blessings! Peggy