"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Friday, June 08, 2012

FAKING PEOPLE OUT - BUT NOT GOD

"When you let a person be your “need-meeter,” you allow that one to be your god. From the beginning, God knew the only path to peace would be complete reliance on Him. He alone meets your needs. He alone completes you. Allow Him to transform your heart until it belongs undividedly to Him − it is there that true freedom lies." - Hope for the Heart

This statement is so true. I have been a "born again" believer for over thirty years. But, I did NOT have God first in my life. Through my injured and damaged heart, I continued to find healing in people. Even though they would disappoint me time and time again. I found myself running back to them. Hoping somehow I could find my happiness and acceptance in others.

I was not living the real me to be accepted though. I was conforming to whomever would pay attention to me. I was a Chameleon changing at a drop of the hat. To be accepted.

I became good at faking people out. It became and art for me. But I was soooooo very unhappy! Faking people out took a lot of know-how and calculation. Figuring out what "people liked or did not like" so I could please them. Emotionally and physically this was draining to do. I was tired. I was unhappy. I needed help!

Four years ago I put myself on a journey of facing my past pain. I was serious and determined to seek help. Has not been easy facing some of my monsters. But worth it in the end! Most of my struggles encompassed co-dependency and people pleasing issues. A lot of it stemming from my upbringing. Feeling unworthy.

I know I shared this before, but since being laid off in January of this year from my job, I have had unconditional time and opportunity to spend with my Heavenly Daddy. I had a choice. So glad I chose to seek my Savior and to get to know Him more intimately. I honestly believe I would not of had this opportunity if I was working. My attention has not been fully on Him most my life. Even as I was healing from my past, the "world" "my job" still had a grip on me.

Right now is the closest I have ever been to my Heavenly Daddy. He allowed a couple of painful major events during this time to get my attention. He has. And I am glad!

14 comments:

  1. You know that is so true....I can pull the wool over your eyes and their eyes but NOT GOD'S....He is an all seeing God and I am so thankful for His Truths that bring me to my knees in repentence of those things in my life that are SO NOT like him...Have a marvelous weekend Grace....hugs

    ReplyDelete
  2. I also was a creature who became what others wanted me to be, or so I thought that's what they wanted me to be. Now I am trying to find out who I really am, and be exactly who God created me to be! We can fake so long that we can even not know who we are anymore. Since we can't fake Him out, maybe He can reveal the real us to us. Many blessings this weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  3. JBR, this happened to me two years ago too, that I was not renewed at a client, unexpectedly, and all of a sudden I had plenty of time to spend in prayer and reading the Bible. It was funny because it happened right after my Dad told me I needed to make a retreat and I told him, "There is no way, that can happen." Well of course God has a way. God Bless You!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can just say it also of myself coz I don't want to offend people. I am a kind of person who always wanted to make others happy, so sometimes I get totally exhausted. Well, thanks Gid for reminding us that we only need to be ourselves. If God is inside us, people will definitely like us or hate us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's amazing how we do that to ourselves. God knew it was time for you to get to know Him up close and personal. Losing a God is very sad but becoming so close to God has been a blessing that will give you joy and happiness forever. Amen!

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's hard to persevere during trying times at times...but I know knowing how faithful the Lord is, that there is a reason behind everything that happens in our lives. I pray we will draw nearer to Him. God bless and stay strong JBR!

    ReplyDelete
  7. JBR I think there's a weakness in all of us that deep down inside we want to feel accepted. Thank God we have him who unconditionally accepts us no matter what. God Bless.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i love how gracious the Shepherd is
    with us
    as we journey on
    slow but sure
    to become real.
    He is so kind
    even when we're faking.
    He never calls us out cruel
    like we do each other.
    I love Him for that:)
    you're becoming such
    a magnificent work of art,
    Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a journey you have been on! I am always amazed at folks making the choice to take over their lives - to take over and give themselves what was taken from them.

    I am often grateful for things taken away from me in my life. I too, lost my job and it gave me the ability to go back to school. My life has forever been altered because of losing my job. I'm glad you have had the opportunity to connect better with Him ... so so glad.

    Blessings to you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sounds like God has you right where He wants you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJune 10, 2012

    BEING CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO GET HURT CUTS THE LIFE SUPPORT TO YOUR HEART. THE REAL YOU. GLAD JBR YOU'RE BYPASSING YOUR FEARS AND STEPPING OUT MORE.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think it's hard trying to please others all the time, changing yourself to try and make them happy. It sounds to me like you are on the right track now. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. JBR, I'm so glad you are growing closer to God during this time in your life. I also am growing closer to Him during this time I have been sidelined with pain. Relying on Him for everything is a good lesson to learn, no matter how painful. praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Okay, I'm going to say those words again:
    I can relate :)
    Faking is draining and so very hard to do. Exhausting actually. I was good at it when I was young but couldn't keep up the facade forever. Just thinking about it makes me wonder how I possibly kept it up for so long. No doubt, I still need work in this area but it's so much better. Great post!

    ReplyDelete