and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
During the process of healing, at times the emotional pain feels as raw as a scab being ripped off before its time.
That being said, one aspect I will share in my painful healing that I shared with my therapist today and that is, "four years ago I was a mean s.o.b." I have no problem admitting that. Because it is true. My therapist thought it was amusing how I just freely say the truth.
Somehow I felt entitled to being mean. Although I know why now I was the way I was. Because of my own pain of fear and the fear of rejection and being hurt. I was miserable. Some of my co-workers could not figure me out and were cautious around me.
So, you know when you know without a doubt in your "unchion" why the Lord did something drastic to get your attention? I do. And I am referring to being let go over a year ago after five years at a job that I was planning on retiring. Pretty drastic! My livilihood gone just like that.
Today, I know in my Spirit without a doubt this was a wake up call from the Lord! I do not believe to this day that He could have used any other means besides losing my job and then allowing two months later a physical attack on my body to which this day remains. Only because these two incidents have humbled me greatly and painfully, they have also shown me how much I need only to trust my Heavenly Daddy even more now. Especially in light of what is going on in the world.
I shared with my therapist today that this wake-up call was the only means that could go deep into my pain and get me on the right path my Heavenly Daddy wanted me to go. I do not believe anything else would have gotten my attention. I was too much shut off still in my pain to get any attention. Something traumatic had to happen..... again...... Shake Me!
So, the loss of a job and the physical attack both have drawn me ever so closer to my Heavenly Daddy.
Something again, which bares repeating, "I do NOT believe I would have found a deep desire to go after and hunger for my Daddy if I did not have these two things happen to me!!!!!!!!"
Even though I can reel in the pain and some days are better than others, today was not so great, I know that my Heavenly Daddy does not want any of His children to suffer. He is never ever the author of pain. What so ever. Satan is. And will always be. But, Daddy, somehow in His loving way (which I am trying to understand) allows it nevertheless.