"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Sunday, June 23, 2013


I am continually surprised of the inner critic's that continue to invade my thought life. Playing havoc so much that I feel I am going crazy and just want it to end. It is amazing how frequent they pop up in my various thought processes when I am extremely fearful especially. Some times over whelming me with emotional flashbacks of shame and I guess I can be safe to say to some degree, self-loathing.

Even though I am quite aware of who I am in Christ, and have become stronger in Him..... I remain very weak. Very weak.

When I am under tremendous emotional stress, my flesh reminds me of my weakness. And reacts out of humanness at times still......and takes unfortunately unhealthy measures literally on my flesh in order to feel. A type of cutting. But not cutting.


  1. I think we will always battle our flesh until He takes our flesh home. But He will give us the strength to grow stronger and have more victories along the way.

  2. AnonymousJune 23, 2013

    I don't know exactly what your suffering with JBR andd I've followed you quite a long time, but if I get the gist of your post your talking about self-harming no matter what you call it. I've been a cutter for a long time. I know the signs. I'm not hear to condem you. Your faith is strong and God will get you through. I'm backing you up.

  3. Hugs to you, Grace. I think we are all our worst critic at times. Please take care of yourself and seek help if these feelings become too strong for you to handle. Be gentle and forgiving of your weaknesses.

  4. AnonymousJune 23, 2013

    Ugh me too JBR. I cry to Daddy so much because I just want the pain to stop and "feel" Him. He always tells me that my emotions block Him out. He wants us to have a peace of mind. It takes much time for healing.
    We are strong one day then the next day we need much help. God rescues always.
    Huge JBR and praying for you to be strong, amen ♥

  5. I'm so sorry. :-( Our inner critic never seems to fully shut up, does it? And yet I do believe, through faith, that we can quiet that destructive voice...


  6. Oh hon, it's okay. Sometimes we judge ourselves so harshly. It is a great thing Father knows us and sees us, followers of Jesus, clean and white as snow.


  7. Hugs to you, my friend. Remember how the Lord sees you: beautiful, amazing, bold, and created perfectly in His own image. He brags on you, He loves you unabashedly, He delights in you, and you are the apple of His eye.

  8. Aw yes my friend; we all have periods of weakness and doubt. Our strength comes from the desire to follow Him, walk in faith, and forsake the things that would block God's presence in our lives. The doors are always open for God's cleansing grace to wash through us, restoring strength and security in our lives!

    Blessings sweet friend; be strong and confident throughout your week! :)

  9. Always remember JBR that if we put our trust in God, when we are weak then He is strong. Take those negative thoughts captive and say 'What do You say Lord', then read something from your Bible and I am sure the Holy Spirit will combat those thoughts. God bless you, God's perfect love will cast out fear.

  10. Wonderful Post JBR. I have been having invasive thoughts recently, I have them a lot actually and a lot of self doubt. "Inner Critic's" when I saw that I thought to myself, here is somebody who knows what I go through, time and time again.

  11. Ahh yes that inner critic speaks way too often and much too loudly.

  12. I am familiar with the inner critic. We were "frenemies" for years. Even now, inner critic comes back for a quick visit if I let it. Thankfully Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) helped me kick that freeloader (mostly) out of my life. I hope someday it will happen for you too.

  13. I have read your blog, bits of it, and understand that you have suffered deeply. I have a friend who also suffered the same things as you and I can only imagine what you both have gone through. Emotional pain and depression for lesser suffering is bad enough, but when you have endured private hells and then emotional pain on top of that, well that is something else. I pray that you begin to find inner peace, and also say that your posting will help others going through the same things as you, or who have done. Even the worst experiences can bring us closer to Him, who will wipe all the tears away and bring us true joy.

  14. Hi Grace,
    Interesting what you say about a type of cutting, but not cutting. I see what you mean. Are we all "cutters" in some way I wonder? This is extremely insightful and something I've never thought of.

    Praying for peace of heart for you, my friend.

  15. There can be no bigger critic of ourselves than ourselves

  16. AnonymousJune 28, 2013

    JBR I'm sorry you suffer so much from your past. May God's presence fill your whole spirit and dissolve the pain. God Bless.

  17. Thank you JBR, for your honesty. I can relate to this so much, just yesterday that inner critic paid me a visit, it's been a while and as you can imagine I was not happy to see him. But I got through it and like you am getting so much better. We have strength beyond our imagination, we mustn't forget.:)