I have been noticing these last couple of months that my sessions in t. have changed from when I first began three years ago next month.
The first couple of years, I would go into a session and even though the JBR's would have trouble talking at the beginning, still they had something to say. Using up the allotted time. And then some.
When I was going through a crisis back then, it took longer for me to get over as I was just developing the tools to learn and use.
These days, I can go through a trial, like with my mum these past few weeks, and if I do not have a t. session scheduled during this time....... I manage to survive the crisis. Then the next time I go to t., usually the following week, when the major crisis is over, I find that I do not use up as much time going through "the turmoil" of the crisis as in the early days.
Still I struggle with having my "emotions" catch up to my "feelings." I continue to feel flat lined, depressed and sad. Unless I am in the Spirit. Then literally I am who I was created to be. But, unfortunately, one cannot remain in this state of being while in this earthly body.
So..............
My t. reminds me that my emotions will eventually catch up. I did not become who I am over night. It will take time.
And once they do catch up, that will be freedom!
My biggest feat one day will be to cry in front of others and not feel shamed!!!
JBR what insight. Emotions often lead to coping activities. When we feel something, we consequently respond to that feeling. In your case growing up you responded in a survival mode. Then shut down. JBR I think emotions affect and are a part of our mood, which is usually a more sustained emotional state. Mood affects our judgment and changes how we process decisions. Did I loose you? God Bless.
ReplyDeleteI can learn alot from your words. I lack patience and tend to not rebound well from a crisis in my life. Most my life I've been depressed. Did my share of drugs and smoking crack in the past. Trying to forget my pain. Attended a couple of group sessions. Only to become discouraged. May be I should reconsider.
ReplyDeleteJBR,
ReplyDeleteYou have made a lot of progress! When you think of how long you lived before really understanding how the past affected you so deeply three years sounds like a short time, don't you think? Lately it seems like you have been having tons of AHA! moments and I am so very glad. Thank you for sharing them with us - I find many of the things you write about helpful to myself too.
God bless you, my friend :)
I think it is wonderful that you have noticed the progress you have made. Certainly your theraphy has been good for you. That in itself is wonderful growth.
ReplyDeletebe gentle with yourself
ReplyDeleteand don't lay heavy expectations on
dear you:)
it's been hard
and the timing will be perfect
and you're loved exactly as you are
and always will be.
-Jennifer
Hi JBR,
ReplyDeleteI have noticed a very big change in you since I fist came here. You ARE getting there and with the way you are changing you will be there soon. :)
Keep giving it to Jesus.
Praying and praying,
<><
THANKS FOR THE UPDATE ON YOUR PROGRESS THE LAST THREE YEARS. I THINK IT'S GREAT WHEN YOU CAN REFLECT ON YOUR PROGRESS AND SEE IT. WELL DONE.
ReplyDeleteCame by for a visit. Good blog to visit on as i can see your progeress over the yrs. Waytogo JBR. I'm proud of you. In time your feelings will catch up ======= then look out!
ReplyDeleteGood goals to have. Keep at it. Small steps add up to long long journeys.
ReplyDeleteYou are growing and getting stronger. This is good. Continue with your goals. I am proud of you.
ReplyDeleteHI JBR - you keep growing beautifully with keen insights and wisdom gained. May I suggest that therapy needs to have a beginning a middle and an end. where are you on that spectrum?
ReplyDeleteLove to you
Gail
peace.....
This is crying...this pouring out on the page. This is prayer.
ReplyDelete"How shall I pray?
Are tears prayers, Lord?
Are screams prayers,
or groans
or sighs
or curses?
Can trembling hands be lifted to you,
or clenched fists
or the cold sweat that trickles down my back,
or the cramps that knot my stomach?
Will you accept my prayers, Lord,
my real prayers,
rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,
and not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged
bouquet of words?
Will you accept me, Lord,
as I really am,
messed up mixture of glory and grime?"
I'm sure you've read that before, but it is one of my favorite expressions of all we are being a continual prayer, and all our tears being worthy!
Thank you so much (((JBR)))...appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteThat is so awesome JBR, I am so glad to hear about the growth that you have done. I am still praying for you and I am excited to see that you can handle the stress and crises.
ReplyDeleteI got the results from irvine marriage counselor Every therapy session is unique and caters to each individual and their specific goals.
ReplyDelete