Although God is the ultimate source of healing our past, the excerpt below from A Courage to Heal is a reminder how we who have been hurt by critical, abusive people in our lives affected us. Bringing on feelings that were not ours to claim. Feelings of shame, guilt, condemnation, fear, worry, hate, etc.
"A key sign of healing is that your shame becomes less. Instead of looking at somebody's watch while you tell them what happened, you can look at their face. And then eventually you can look in their eyes and tell them, without feeling they can see what a creep you are. You can just look at someone, tell them, and say, "And I'm okay," without having to ask, "Right? I am okay, aren't I?"
There are many ways to overcome shame. The most powerful is simply talking about your abuse. Shame exists in an environment of secrecy. When you begin to freely speak the truth about your life, your sense of shame will diminish."
(A Courage to Heal)
A few years ago I could not look at anyone comfortably when talking about myself. I hated the idea of having to share anything about myself as I felt such shame and guilt. All brought on because of my upbringing. Both parents shamed me. Different methods. But, it got the job done.
When I began t. four years ago, I had trouble keeping eye contact with my t. Let alone be able to verbalize my pain. There has been such improvement since then. God continues to heal me gradually. My walls of shame and false beliefs have begun to slowly crumble as I began to trust. Through prayers and therapy.
There are a few walls still remaining. Not as high. Those too will come down one day. I know it!
Praying for you and complete freedom from your pain.
ReplyDeleteit takes time, determination, dscipline and most of all the desire to bring those walls down
ReplyDeleteA good reminder to keep talking and telling our truth. Shame will diminish. hugs
ReplyDeleteHey hon,
ReplyDeleteI agree that shame exists in an environment of secrecy. Talking frees you. The first steps are always hard but once you get going the process becomes easier and easier.
Blessings,
<><
You have done such a wonderful job to re-create yourself. Of course it is hurtful and one cant work at all places at the same time. We are the sculpture and the sculptor! You chisel a masterpiece!
ReplyDeleteJBR interesting and meaningful quote from the book. I remember reading it a while back. Your determination for your healing is very evident. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteoh yes they will, those walls.
ReplyDeleteand protection will still surround
and keep you safe
and covered
in love
even without those worn out walls.
such a beautiful becoming
is happening in you:)
-Jennifer
Oh darlin', I so pray that your walls crumble soon.
ReplyDeleteYou my dear, have come so very far. I have watched you grow and seen you drawin' closer to God.
You are amazin'!!!
God bless your week sweetie!!! :o)
That is such a good book. Wishing healing to come your way.
ReplyDeleteI used to be silent about my past. But now I can talk about it without feeling like people will think less of me. It took me a long time to be able to do that.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are doing that one blog post at a time. And one day those few walls that are left will be gone.
Sounds like you have made great progress.
ReplyDelete