TAKING BETTER CARE OF MYSELF

I have been pretty disciplined since being off.

Knowing ahead of time the possibility of being let go, I would have the opportunity to 'catch my breath' from all the pressures of last year and be able to relax. My whole body and mind have been so tired.

The wheels were already turning in my head before the final word came down from the "higher-ups." If I was to be let go, which I was for some of you new readers, that I would have the time to take better care of myself.

It has already been close to two weeks now that I was let go. Each day I have been walking outside. Presently I am up to 2-3 miles a day. Not walking those miles at one time. That is the luxury of having all this free time now. I walk for a 1/2 hour then go home. Rest up a bit. Then go out again. I am glad I like to walk. Breaks up my day too.

I usually walk about 4 to 5 times a day. One of those walks is to the near by hospital where I live. There I pick up a well balanced meal for the day in their cafeteria to take home. Was not eating well this last year due to stress issues. I do not like to cook. Let alone for myself. If someone cooks for me, then I am happy. I am determined to at least eat healthier now.

"Why was I let go?" I still ponder that question. Desiring to leave this job was the last thing I wanted to do. I was content. Planned on retiring there. But.......

I knew 2011 was a very stressful year for me. It seemed I was never ever able to recoil and bounce back. I needed to rest. One challenging trial after another. Put a WHOLE LOT of strain on me mentally and physically.

1) My department at work was forced to move to a whole new location. Making my travel time longer. So the stress of the move.

2) PPP thew me "big time" under the bus the same time of the move. Then not speaking with them for over four months. I eventually forgave them. I finally wanted to. Especially having the unction in my spirit that my time was short at my work place for me and I wanted to make amends.

3) My department splitting after a couple of months in our new location. All of a sudden one day having a new boss. Right there I knew I was in trouble.

4) My mum being rushed to the ER for her erratic heart beat. Finally getting that under control after being in the hospital five days.

5) Discovering while in the hospital by a routine x-ray that she had a growth on one of her kidneys. All signs pointing to cancer. Major stress.

6) My mum having major surgery to remove what was a miracle the "non-cancerous growth" a couple of months later.

7) Having to take a week off from work to tend to my mum when she came home from the hospital.

8)Learning I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and having to go on meds.

9) The-change-of life making its grand painful appearance. Why not! Everything imaginable was happening to me.

10) Training someone for my job. All along I was to pretend that 'nothing was happening.'

And finally,

11) Being let go from my job after 4.5 years. Yes, I had quite a year.

I think a lot of the reason why the Lord had me let go was "I was just too physically and mentally tired" from what last year brought me. I wanted so desperately to rest. I also believe I have arrived at a different stage in my life where the Lord desires for me to trust Him even more. Get to know Him even more intimately. That would be awesome!

Sure I questioned, "Lord I could still trust you while I was working there." No. Apparently He saw fit, right now for me to be unemployed and trust Him for my next venture.