Once again I had to be reminded in t. how far I have grown. I continue to expect so much more out of my progress. Even this late in my journey. I think I "should" be further along.
I shared about the "rubber-band bungee force field" effect I have. Where I step out and then repel back to what I thought was "point one" again. Each time. Where in fact, as my t. and I went through what I was feeling, it is not so. I may fall back yes, but not as far as before. Or the time before that. Or the time before that, etc. There is always some forward progression.
Whether in dealing with current anger issues which are rating highly on my list. Coinciding with forgiveness. There is progress.
Just by me feeling the emotion of anger (used to stuff it) and claiming the entitlement that "yes I was done wrong," that is progression. Having the desire now to forgive the people that hurt me, knowing as hard as it is for me to do this, I know there is freedom in forgiveness. That is progress. Finding out now, not just in my present situations, but the overflow of my upbringing and what I had to endure and what was done to me as a little one to forgive. That is progress.
Yes, my little one was very much damaged growing up. She still cries and is very much alive in me. Tugs at my heart throughout the day. Hiding still at times behind a wall of shame and fear. But, at least now she knows she will be met more with a comforting response than a scolding one. Reminding us that our Heavenly Daddy is right there with us. And that too is progress.....
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. " Isaiah 41:10
love that verse!
ReplyDeleteProgress can indeed feel slow but still is there every step of the way.
ReplyDeleteGREAT PICTURE JBR. WE TEND TO WANT TO RUSH THE PROCESS WHEN WE FEEL PAIN. NATURAL. OUR GOD IS WITH US.
ReplyDeleteProgress! It is so lovely to read that word here. :) I am learning lots from you that is helping me deal with issues from my past, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
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Progress is a good thing even if it does seem slow or if you sometimes take a step backwards. Keep looking ahead. You'll get there.
ReplyDeleteYou are on the right path.In our life's journey, we will always get hurt, as you learn to forgive, it will be easier next time. Remember, we have a forgiving God too.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's great progress. God's doing similar work in me too. I have to be patient though. Sometimes I wish it would be quicker but it's probably best that it's not :)
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings!