Besides escaping into a fantasy world to survive my childhood, I found once after my parents divorced in 1969, I picked up a guitar, taught myself to play and write songs. I have well over 200 songs. It was another outlet for me to escape and deal with what was going on. Even though at the time I did not know I was surviving! Sadly though, in looking at these songs today, I really did not write about how I was ‘really’ feeling. Many of my songs were very superficial. Probably makes sense, because today, even though I am more honest than I ever have been, it is the sharing and expressing of myself that is so very difficult, thus the superficialness of my youth.
I came across one of my songs today I wrote in 1974. I can even remember what prompted me in writing this one so vividly as a very young teenager in high school sitting in the last row of my English class in the wintertime. I was not a strong student; a loner, and always sat in the back. Did not care for school at all! I am not a prolific writer, as you will see.
Anyway, this song exhibits anger and hurt and one of my rare songs that are actually not superficial.
Keep Those Eyes Away
When you look at me again.
I will punch your face in.
Your eyes are looking my way.
Pretty soon I will have something to say.
Keep those eyes away.
Keep those eyes straight.
Keep those eyes away.
Keep those eyes straight.
I am paranoid when you look and see.
I keep thinking people are looking at me.
Please turn your eyes away.
For I can’t stand you looking my way.
Keep those eyes away.
Keep those eyes straight.
Keep those eyes away
Keep those eyes straight.
My eyes will wander to yours.
Then you’ll see what you’re getting into.
For my feelings for you.
Are something you better look out for.
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powerful words to your song JBR. Even at that age you were already angry. Hope you find comfort.
ReplyDeleteWow!! Powerful, building walls. Thank you so much for visiting my blog today. If you read much, you will know that I'm not quite myself, but I am real. I like your blog and will add you to my blog roll and follow.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
CC
Whenever I see, or call someone "Beautiful", it usually means they show no anger towards anything, or anyone.
ReplyDeleteFunny how angry people "look" angry, not "pretty"...
And JBR, I somehow picture you as beautiful. With beautiful smiling eyes, a look of honesty--which now we all recognize--finally! And I see that HOPE there which you claim eludes you. Anyway, that's MY portrait of you, no matter what you claim! So THERE! -grin!
Trust us all who blog with you. That IS how God will 'talk' to you, through one or more of US, at any given moment. That's how He talks to ME.
Stevie, you are just too kind. You are correct, we are all here to lift one another up, thank you.
ReplyDeleteClueless, thank you for the visit and your honesty!
Stuck-Thank you as always!
JBR, too bad I can't hear the music behind those words. I always identify with the music first when I hear a song, then the lyrics. I'll bet I'd enjoy the music's power, though. Thanks for sharing that song.
ReplyDeleteLisa, oh you are too kind. When I used to write songs, 99% of the time the lyrics would be written first. Rarely would I have a tune in my head.
ReplyDeleteJBR - thank you, as always for your kind words and blessings for us. so sorry you are having so much emotional turmoil. loved your tune. powerful words for one so young.... God loves you and will lead you where you need to be. i only wish i had your spirit and closeness to Him. today will be difficult for me, dealing with my loss....if only I could let go........
ReplyDeleteRainbow, one day I pray too that you will experience the true love of God that we were created to.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is really powerful. Thanks for sharing it. I write a lot of poetry. My first poems were very much like song lyrics, even though I don't know how to read music and don't play an instrument. I've always wanted to, though.
ReplyDeleteThis is weird. I'm running into poetry everywhere. Did you know that April is BOTH Child Abuse Prevention Month AND National Poetry Month?
Marj, I too have seen on many blogs I visit, the majority share their stories in poems. I was aware that it was Child Abuse Prevention Month, but not Poetry Month.
ReplyDeleteI feel the anger in your song. I hope you still write "angry" songs, so you can release little by little your anger and will get little by little more room for peace.
ReplyDeleteSafe hugs,
Leslie