"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Friday, April 24, 2009


Off to have a busy day ahead planned with the family. I am exhausted, but hey that is life.

Amazing in just the short time already my yesterday afternoon and this morning already have not gone uneventful, which was certainly expected. Totally amazing what telephone conversations can do to you with "digs" also. Most of the time I let everyone else engage in their yada yada conversations listening to digs here and there and just thinking “this has been the norm” all my life. Interesting to sit back and be the spectator and just see how controlling some people are and finally realize “this is sick.” Already fell right back into some areas I have not conquered yet and felt powerless. Very hurtful and cutting remarks made to and about me and at times and in all honesty I do feel defeated! But, at least now I am recognizing “Houston, There Is A Problem."

I can only pray for lighter moments between the underlying stabs through out the day as things really shift into gear face-to-face.

Until later........


  1. You've received an award. Check out my blog.

  2. I grew up in a very toxic family. I think I have an idea what you're facing. My thoughts are with you.

  3. I hope you have a wonderful day! :)

  4. I'm praying for you some lighter moments! If you are able, set your boundaries and be firm with them. It's so amazing what that one little (HA! little! HA!((My way of saying that I know this can be HUGE))) thing can do for YOU. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  5. I also grew up with a toxic parent. I hated the jabs. You have something now more powerful than the jabs and your prayers will keep you protected. I will keep praying for you. love Tanya

  6. stuck-in-the-middleApril 24, 2009

    Hang in there. You are much more powerful.

  7. Well, I WAS the toxic one in our family. It is difficult for them to see it even now. Sometimes when I see something, it makes me look at myself?!

  8. I wish you a good day. Try to remember people who have nothing nice to say are usually not happy with there life and just projecting their negativity on people they know they can hurt so in some sick way they can feel better about themselves. Let it slide off your back like water, you are above it you have God on your side! Hugs

  9. Glad everything is working out for the most part good for you. Keep looking up and soon your breakthrough will come.

  10. Have a free moment here alone with my own senses, so I thought I would check in.
    Thank you all so much for your continued support. Really helps along.

    Quickly, I am totally amazed how the human mind functions and how sick it can be at times when more than one are gathered and when one seems out of place (duh guess who) how the others can pit one another on the weaker. But, really, I am not doing too bad. I recognize this crap and either just tune it out (which is bringing back the old ways, but for now will do) or walk away (which in past I have never done, so I am making some kind of statement, I suppose?). Which I have been doing for the most part.

    God has provided a very nice day here,so I am enjoying the sun and yes, Atlantic Ocean.

    Again, I truly do appreciate you all, AD, Tricia, Michele, Stevie, Jeremy, Stuck, Tabby, Tanya and Tracy taking the time to encourage me along. Thank you again!! I hope I did not miss anyone!

  11. You are not alone!!!!!!!!!!! One phrase has been exceptionally helpful to me in my family dealings: We only recognize in others what we ourselves possess. The juvenile version would be: It takes one to know one. Once we're the black sheep, it's hard to change our pecking order. Just remember your family's perceptions and opinions about you are not YOUR problem. It doesn't alter your reality.

    Just tell them that BF said you rock!!!!! hee hee

  12. I'm getting the hurtful comments from my estranged husband just about every day. I empathize. And he WON'T BE REAL. Allison

  13. Blind Faith-Thank you for sharing and you too rock dear!
    Allison-I am so very sorry for what you are going through with your ex. I read your blog. I too hope your pain will go.
    As for me, going to call it an evening. Guests are in the next room and I am just struggling to keep focus, especially now that I am alone with my thoughts, that is when the flood of pain enters and once again I am shocked back into reality of circumstance.

  14. Your post is great. Your real experiencing reaffirms that Life is a learning curse.

    I am glad to see you coping with it well. It inspires and enriches us and we all love you, more than we can use words to express my feeling to you.

    God bless,

  15. ((((((((JBR)))))))) Stay safe and stay sane. Awareness is key...the step that many never get to. At least by comparison, you can see the great steps...leaps & bounds you are making away from that b.s.

  16. Hi again

    Yeah I know how this feels. Thankfully you are coping with it.

    Remember that it's their problem not yours and that God is on your side.

    I will continue praying for you.

    God Bless


  17. you're coping, great!