"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Checking in or should say, "checking out.."

I don't know. I just came back from group tonight. Feel more detached than ever. I was just there in body but my mind was somewhere else. I felt so very empty, wanted to leave and felt non-existent. I am sure it is the situation with my outer-towners having somewhat of an effect on me.....whatever......

Just want to thank everyone so much for your uplifting encouraging comments full of love to me of recent!!!

I felt bad whining after posting my struggles with you all yesterday. I hate to whine! Anyway, this has passed and I have had time to process and give my situation to the Lord and remembered a wise individual who recently said to me, “I am not responsible for anyone elses’ happiness. It is not my job!”

Out-of-towners arrived safely, and earlier than expected this afternoon, so spent time already with them before I headed for group tonight.

I am in “surface talk mode” with my visitors, as that is what is expected. Hard to revert to that after being so real for so long, but ‘hey what can you do?’ Getting the usual and expected ‘verbal jabs’ to try and break me and feel guilty about something. Except this time, I am better prepared..... hopefully. Next few days will be a challenge, no doubt. I see myself becoming stronger through this trial, even though tonight feeling "not here or there mentally" so I am going with that! Prayer is certainly powerful and once again I so do appreciate you lifting me up!! Blessings everyone and thank you!


  1. It is so exhausting doing that "surface talk", don't you think? It takes a lot of energy. I am praying for you! God bless.

  2. I'll send up a few prayers for you!

  3. Stay focus on Him. Meanwhile may I refer you to James 1:2-4.

    God bless,

  4. You CAN do this JBR! You have the strength, I know you do. safe hugs to you, sweetie!

  5. concentrate on one day..one hour..one minute at a time, whichever one is best for you, and before you know it - you have made it through the rough spot.

    Hang in!

  6. So that's what it is called--what I've been doing for 70 years with my "up north' family...surface talk! I always knew there was a distance between us 'bretheren, but never put a name on it. Thank you SO much.

    Once I know what something IS, i don't mind it so much.

    You'll make it through this, just stay on the surface, and ya won't drown. And if ya see a shark circling, swim quickly for shore (a meeting of some kind, any kind, OK?)

  7. Everyone, thank you once again for your support!
    Why am I the only one up at this hour? Never mind!
    Busy day planned. Meeting up with other the relative, so this is always a treat when we all are together. Don't get me wrong, there are some funny and amusing times we share, and I have to chuckle at how "some things or really most things never change,"...... except me now. Interesting to say the least.

  8. You will make it through, and it will be over before you know it. Go on one of your mind walks if you need to get away from them...lol

  9. one day down... you'll make it!