"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

BUSTING OUT!


The picture above depicts how I am feeling! My inner child, the one that was hurt so very long ago, is raring to bust out of her adult body and be set free! The anxiousness and determination within me is so very strong I do not know how long I can contain it. Then at the same time, I am scared silly with the fear of “who will I Be?” Well, for one thing, if I can just get a grip, I will BE ME! What, how dare I Be Me! Do I even know how to Be Me? Will Being Me come naturally? Just think, if I Am Me, I do not have to care anymore what others think about Me. I would have clarity of mind when speaking. Not lose my train of thought, have fear set in, then stumble over words trying to pick myself up to make sense and not appear to be an idiot. I can just Be Me. Ahhhhhh........ to be Me.

Also as Me, I believe it will be much easier to then face my fears of past abuse, neglect, rejections, emeshing, etc. Not saying I am not dealing with them some what now, but it would be so much more freeing to be dealing with them as my “Busting Out Me .“

53 comments:

  1. Love this post. At first I thought maybe you were busting out of jail! Ha, ha. Your version is much better! I know you will like what you find when you bust out.

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  2. I think you're right about it being easier when you can break out and just be you. I'm reading John Bradshaw's book, Home Coming- Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child. I can only read a little at a time because it brings up a lot, but I'm learning so much.

    You seem to be getting so close. You're going to make it one day soon!

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  3. Tricia, thank you for sharing that book's title.

    Gin, well, in a way it will be like breaking out of "prision." I look forward to the day I will be exonerated.

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  4. Sweet friend, the true me is a courageous and beautiful person. You will shine with the light of our Heavenly Father's glory. You will NO longer live in a darkened shadow of dispair. You, my friend will be truly free....as I call it, "free to be me"....and "me" is a great place. You will be victorious in this battle...with GOD you can not be defeated.

    Hang in there and know there are so many praying for you every step of the way!!

    Blessings, andrea

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  5. I found that there was a point in my healing that I needed to actually allow myself to become my inner child. I regressed to being a kid who was whiny and had needs that needed to be met and allowed myself to be selfish and carefree and all those other joys of being an innocent child that were taken away from me and that I was never allowed to take part in as a child.
    (((Hugs)))

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  6. Yaya, appreciate your input here. I can tell in your videos how 'care-free' and 'free-spirited' you are! Very refreshing! Thank you dear for your hugs and encouragement.

    Andrea, your comment has the determination of truth that I so appreciate, thank you for all your prayers!

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  7. The truth will set you free. I have found that finding and accepting the truth is a slow process, but is worth the effort and leads to freedom.

    God bless,
    PG

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  8. we all do what we need to do for ourselves.It took me a long time to learn that.My inner child comes out to play all the time now.that is one happy kid now.big time hugs.tossing confetti and walnuts in the air!

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  9. Mike, seems like you are having a grand time! Very exciting!!

    Looking forward to being 'set-free' PG! Amen to that!!

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  10. you'll never be truly happy being someone else's "me" When you are "just be real" it will be perfect! Bust away. ~rick

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  11. Dear Determinedly Anxious.

    I have trouble knowing who I am, because I keep telling myself all these lies. And I believe them--or--maybe they're true?

    "Early-to-bed tonight!" Yeah, Right!

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  12. Rick, I cannot agree with you more. I feel I am on my way......

    AD dear one thank you! Glad you had a good day at work!

    Stevie, cannot even begin to figure out what the heck you are saying.....

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  13. Be prepared for who you will find...the "you" may not look like the you that has been painted in your mind.

    Lean very heavily on God when you feel the pangs of birth. He will amaze you with his ability to help you no mater what!

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  14. Good for you! Someday, I'd like to join you by disenrolling myself from the "i care what people thinks club"...someday...
    ~ Gracie

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  15. You is the only person you can be. Real-ly. So let you out. Be who you are. It is easy. It's the lies that you tell yourself, the false front that you put out there that is hard. It is easy to be real. We are all loved by the Source, all are honest reflections.

    I want to welcome you to my blog. You came and joined while I was out of town. Nice to have you on the journey.

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  16. Hi Ellen, thank you for the visit and sharing from your heart! I appreciated the beautiful pictures of nature on your blog. Thank you.

    Gracie! so good to see you dear one! I am excited to read from you that "Someday" you too are willing to let go and be free!!! I will take that as a step forward for you dear one, thank you for sharing!

    Amen, girlinaglasshouse, God IS my source and provider! Thanks for sharing!!

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  17. What a truthful fun picture. JBR I can only wish you the best for becoming the real you! Go for it kid

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  18. I just read your devotional below and was so touched by your humility, your transparency and most of all your dependency on God--our truest Healer, our closest Friend, the Binder Of Our Wounds! I'm praying for you and I know that God will reveal more and more of who HE CREATED YOU TO BE to your heart--the wholeness is there--in HIM!!

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  19. That picture of adult is what you will "become" knowing that the inner child, first you have to "overcome" and you will by God's grace. God bless. Rejoicing for you in "becoming to be me"...

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  20. But how does one prepare themselves for all the emotions that inner child is going to bring when you let her out? Right now I'm doing what I can to silence mine and hope she stays that way.

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  21. wow thats a huge step let her fly

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  22. Once you let your inner child out you are releasing yourself from the trap of sexual abuse and freeing your innocence. Let that child out and soon you will find the pathway to "Live for Today"

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  23. JBR, you will be YOU and that is just about all you need to be. For me it was a bit different. I took this crying little child inside me by her hand and slowly we moved forward. On thee way she lost many of her fears and a s she did I started evolving, maturing and the day came where we merged. She is part of my past, A past which always there, but not chaining me anymore.
    Keep you in my thoughts.

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  24. Dear Just Be Real, let this child out and be yourself. Don't be afraid of what everybody thinks, because you'll have always very good people by your side. That is a path to your own happiness and you'll get better and better by laughing and crying with this child. Be free!

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  25. Dear Just Be Real, let this child out and be yourself. Don't be afraid of what everybody thinks, because you'll have always very good people by your side. That is a path to your own happiness and you'll get better and better by laughing and crying with this child. Be free!

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  26. Such a wonderful post sweetie.

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  27. the inner child is the most powerful being to experience. once that happens there's no turning back and the freedom you will have will be awsome you won't know what to do with it except enjoy and wonder where it has been all your life.

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  28. Joan, thank you for the visit and you are proably right, I will say, "where have I been all my life" knowing full well I have been locked up inside, but now am free!

    Denise, thank you too dear.

    Sylvia, The child is emerging dear one to her freedom, thank you.

    Paula, comforting thought of "not chaining/binding" anymore. Freedom. That is the ultimate, thank you.

    Erin, amen, look forward to the day of totally releasing and giving the pain totally up in order to Live For Today!!

    JIP, ohhhhhh yesssssss...... definitly a "big SCARY step" dear one! Blessings!

    LisaMarie, thank you for sharing. I believe my Heavenly Father will be with me and has been every step of the way. Although it may be difficult the next major step(s), I have the assurance I will NOT be alone!!

    Rcubes, thank you for the support all along! Appreciate you can rejoice with me!!

    Joye, thank you for the visit and your personal prayers and comforting words of our Lord! Blessings.

    Strawberry, thank you for the encouragement. Always good to have you along!

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  29. a milestone! will it be easy? will it come naturally? not immediately. you are shrugging of years and years of conditioned behaviour. but at last you can breath, smile at the sun and the moon, be free, be who you want to be!

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  30. stuck-in-the-middleJune 24, 2009

    I know you can do it JBR! Watching you blog and the progress is so very encouraging. Keep it up!

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  31. AnonymousJune 24, 2009

    Hi

    I am doing some research on child abuse and i would really appreciate your feedback on a training and awareness course. Please could you email me at Victoria@branded3.com

    Thanks

    Victoria

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  32. Victoria, thank you for the visit. I will pray about what you ask and reply either way.

    stuck-As always, appreciate you very much, thanks!

    Shadow, thank you dear one for your continued support and sharing of your own progress! Blessings.

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  33. i'm pretty new here-as you know -- your struggles seem so tough lately-- but you are on the right track. i really think/believe that you will find the healing that you need and seek so badly. i will put you on my prayer list--
    you may not know it yet-- but we have a lot in common-- by what i know so far-- mainly the feelings, as i have read of little detail. but i have a feeling much of that is the same or similar too.
    it does take time.. and maintenance.
    too bad it doesn't just go away and stay gone gone forever huh?
    i really do hope you find what you need to be happy.
    you obviously deserve it.
    have a happy day-

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  34. This is great progress you're making. Although expect a few more bumpy roads and valleys ahead,if you remain on this course you will get through alright. You have a lot of support here.

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  35. I really like this post. I can SO relate. Be kind to yourself my friend. Blessings... M

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  36. Thanks for this thought. I can really understand your bursting feelings...they are so hard to feel. So, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you will find some peace.

    mile

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  37. Hi Mile, thank you for your prayer dear one!

    Glad you can relate to this post Michele. Blessings.

    Janet, I certainly do expect much more to come in the *pain* realm. It ain't over yet. Thank you for your continued support.

    SOUL, struggles are tough and that is because I believe I am getting closer to my "freedom." With freedom there is a cost. Thank you for putting me on your prayer list. I am sorry that we share similiarities of pain, but hope that you are working through yours okay as well.

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  38. I can relate to this post. I think so many things in the past have started to define who I am. But if I really think about it, none of things are who I really am. They're just things I've let define me because it's hard to step out as the person you KNOW you. The person God created. Interesting post! Thanks!

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  39. Cindy, thank you for dropping by and sharing your thoughts and heart. Yes, it is hard, but I believe it can be done. Blessings!

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  40. Good for you! I've recently done the same (am doing the same) and let me tell you, I am so much happier with EVERYTHING in my life. I've shed some unwanted, unneeded things and gained so much in return.

    Good luck and godspeed and most of all, have fun doing this!

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  41. Lora, thank you for the visit and sharing your journey a bit. Very encouraging. Appreciate you taking the time to share! Blessings!

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  42. May God bless you today.

    ♥Hope

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  43. I know exactly how you feel! It is scary, isn't it, when you stop pretending and start trying to just BE.

    I'm right there with you. So far the "real" you is pretty awesome :-)

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  44. May Gods strength continue to build you up as you carry on through this time.

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  45. Reading the comments to your post made me realize how many people are waiting to welcome you! The REAL you!!! It's like everyone is sitting on the edge of their seats, standing on the side of the road waiting and cheering. And the reason why is because you've given us a glimpse of the real you, courageous and beautiful. Not only have I never walked in your shoes, I've never even seen them, but you are an amazing example of how we should all face our fears. Love and fear cannot dwell side by side. I'm here waving and jumping up and down...

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  46. <><

    I Am Really Touched By Everyone's Responses! I Had No Clue This Post Would Bring So Many Comments!!

    I am slowly understanding that "I am not" alone in this journey here. Not only am I guided by the Spirit of the Lord, but He has put each one of you in my life and visa versa for this time.

    HeartfeltHeartlook, what an awesome thing to say, I am touched.

    Ron, thank you for the uplift support your bring.

    Yes, Shen, it is very scary, but through the fear and the Grace of God, I will be able to conquer!

    Hope, He is!

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  47. Looks like you're heading in the right direction. Good luck.

    David

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  48. AnonymousJune 25, 2009

    Anonymous said...
    I am so thankful that your blog found me. I am a believe who clings to my faith as I struggle with my son's drug addiction. I have come a long way, since I was that little girl who was physically abused. God taught me how to forgive and how to love myself. I'm a work in progress. Your words are beautiful. I continue to praise God as I share my journey as the mother of a drug addict.
    I will follow this blog, because I feel very blessed by your gift of words. Thank you.
    In him,
    www.howismyson.blogspot.com

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  49. Dear Anonymous, so very sorry for the emotional pain you suffer with your son's drug addiction. I can only pray for his salvation and the release of the disease to the Lord. Appreciate you sharing and sorry for your past physical abuse. Blessings dear one and thank you for your comment!

    Fearfullyandwonderfully and David, thank you for your visits and appreciate your comments. Blessings.

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  50. It's a long journey to uncover that real "You" - the person that God created you to be. I think you are brave to tackle the struggles head on, and to share the process by blogging. Even your frustrations and failures can bring glory to God, since He is the only way out.

    My blog seems silly in comparison, but thanks so much for following! I look forward to getting to know you better.
    :-)

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