"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

THE CHILD WITHIN


This post’s excerpt from the book, ironically enough, was what I discussed a lot tonight in t. How I treat my inner-child and how much shame I feel and how I need to NOT NOT NOT NOT reject her when she acts a certain way and JUST TO LET HER BE!!!!!!!!!

I think I finally get it!!!

That it is okay to feel what I am feeling and not feel WEIRD or OUT OF PLACE or ABNORMAL, but to accept her right now right here. And mainly NOT NOT NOT NOT get angry at her!!!! It was NOT her fault!! She did nothing wrong, despite what she believes and was told!!!


“Healing from sexual abuse requires that we find compassion for the vulnerable child inside each of us who was hurt, betrayed, and abandoned. When we talk about “the child within,” we are talking about forming a loving, respectful relationship with the person you once were: as a baby, as a toddler, as a school child, as a teenager. Developing empathy for these inner children is an essential part of healing.

Many survivors struggle with the child within. Too often, women blame her, resent her, or ignore her completely. Survivors sometimes hate themselves for having been small, for having needed affection, for having “let themselves be abused.” (The Courage to Heal)

Minus the “loving” part for now, I need to respect the child within. I came so very close tonight in t. to crying, but she would not let me. She feels so much shame. She remembers now that her father would not like it when she cried. So she had to suck it up. That being said, and in time when I am able to grieve more freely, it will happen. But, still I do not have to beat up on my inner-child , and just let her be. After all, this is how she survived all these years.

This will certainly NOT be easy! It will be a work in progress to remind myself daily when I start going off on her, to bring her back and to try and comfort her by saying, “it is okay to react this way. Let her hide if she needs to. Let her giggle when she has to. She is not stupid, she is not an outcast, she is not weird, and she is not different.”

To anyone who has similar struggles as me, I want to encourage you as I hope you encourage me that this can be done! Not on our own, but with the help of God, and trusted people, it can be accomplished, however long it takes!!

34 comments:

  1. Give your inner child a big hug from me. She's very courageous.

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  2. Thank you AD. She is also very scared.

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  3. This is the hardest part for me personally. I can count on one hand how many times I have ever let myself cry for the sake of crying. Usually a fast anger then a wall goes up. The anger is fleating... very quick.. seconds... but the wall... that's much harder to let go or for someone else to gain entry.

    Know you are loved by God no matter what 'lady' you bring forth to him. Just go through all fo this in your own timely manner and in such way it feels right.

    Hugs. Tammy

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  4. What a remarkable journey you are on. Thank you for sharing such intimate thoughts and struggles. I think you are way more courageous than you realize. We're with you JBR. Big hugs

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  5. Karen and Tammy, thank you for your encouraging comments. ♥

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  6. I am praying for you, and your precious inner child. Let her be as real as she needs to be. I love you.

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  7. Great illustration to go along with your powerful workds.

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  8. hmmmm. i will have to come read this again. too much to think about. thanks for sharing.

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  9. Such a great post. I find myself on the verge of tears so many times in t, but I pull myself back from the ledge and am squashing her voice. It's a work in progress. One day at a time she will gain the strength she needs to be free. You've convinced me to go back and open my C2H. It's time I take another look at things I have chosen to ignore.

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  10. I at times still struggle with the inner child. I nuture her every chance I get!!!The best advice I can give you is give your IC and adult a break! As you progress it will be easier to do this.

    This beginning stage DOES NOT last forever one day you will believe this!

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  11. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to pen this post. I have a couple of family members by which this will help me remember compassion on them and most importantly how to pray for them when they struggle with the ramifications of their childhood.
    Chel

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  12. To want to know that hurting child is frightening. To make her feel safe, secure, and loved.

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  13. they say without seeing your inner child you dont really heal. I hope your inner child gets a really gooey yummy cupcake heehehehee

    amelia

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  14. Thanks for sharing this article. I loved the picture. I cried because I remember being where you are. I remember the pain and the held in tears and the rage that hid the hurt. Sometimes it helps to remember all of that so that I can see how far I have come.

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  15. DEar One, take her by her little hand, walk with her, talk to her and she will share not only pain but a bit more positive memories as well. She holds both. It is an incredible feeling to finally aknowledge her, but accept her too. The two of you will make it. Keep you in my thoughts during your journey xxx

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  16. I'm glad that you are accepting your inner child and how she feels. By doing so, you are allowing so much pain and memories to surface. It can be painful and scary, it makes me think of an infected wound. Only when you get rid of the pus and infection can you really heal the wound. My inner child has been really surfacing and so I can relate to how you feel. As you said, I will take everything as baby steps. Take care! <3

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  17. Some times our inner child can express our pains that we can't as a adult. It's good that your letting her come out and surface.

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  18. Each of you have something poweful to say, and I appreciated you sharing your experiences and thoughts here. Your encouragement helps very much. Thank you!♥

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  19. You are the parent of that child within. Nurture her.

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  20. I had a fleeting thought about "the child within" yesterday; almost like a nudge or something. Hadn't thought of that concept in years, it seems. :)

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  21. Looks like you made a good connection. Treat her gently. God Bless.

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  22. the child was my enemy. she was wrong, bad, worthless. accepting her has taken so much time and concious effort

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  23. Sending big hugs!
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

    PS: You have an award at arise 2 write

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  24. What a wonderful piece you have captured here. This is a time where you are making some great progress and you are starting to validate your own self worth. Great for you!

    Keep on working towards that goal, moving forward and as always holding God's hand along the way.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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  25. Goody 4 you! Looks like progress is being made. Keep it up!

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  26. Treating yourself differently takes practice, practice, and more practice.

    Having it feel comfortable rather than weird also takes practice, practice, and more practice.

    Love and prayers,
    PG

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  27. Really, really wonderful post. Thank you! X

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  28. Yes! Good for you! Treat yourself kindly. Be your own best friend. Be gentle with yourself. One day at a time. Hugs.

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  29. Your in the muck of things now.Good youve got the support to carry on.

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  30. I may not declared it, but I believe I have a child in me, too. What scares me is that sometimes it becomes uncomfortable. Thanks for this post. It made me see myself as well.

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  31. I like that you are BEING REAL.... I felt shame based yesterday and today and got it out.

    You are only as sick as your secrets they say in al-anon..

    I got it out and realized there was no need for my current shame... a trigger from my past too.

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  32. This is a wonderful post, and makes reference to a great book. You have the courage, JBR, and I know that you and your inner child will make the journey together. Thanks for being so honest and open, it inspires me xx

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  33. This is a wonder post with precious revelations. I am so proud of you JBR. I know how hard this is. We can do this together.

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  34. "however long it takes". On my way home from T tonight, I listened to this song called, "I just can't give up now"...I read this post a few days back, the same day you left me a comment to come and read it :-)
    I have not had the energy to write or comment. However long it takes, JBR. However long it takes.
    my heart, Grace

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