RECOGNIZING THE DAMAGE

****Possible Triggers****
Started to read the book Courage to Heal. There is so much that I can relate to in Part One of “Recognizing the Damage.”

Things are explained well about how sexual abuse affects different areas, i.e. intimacy, sexuality, parenting, the body, feelings, self esteem, and family relationships.

In naming a few, here are what survivors find difficult and often have trouble with dealing later on in life:

the trust factor;
fearful of people;
feeling isolated;
panicing/shutting down;
SI;
feeling dead inside;
disconnected;
hating themselves;
saying "no;"
having strained relationships with family members
and the list goes on.

There is a comforting note at the end of the chapter where it states:

“If you feel overwhelmed reading about the long-term effects of abuse, remember that you have already lived through the hardest part-the abuse itself. You have survived against formidable odds. The same abuse that undercut you has also provided you with many of the inner resources necessary for healing. One quality every survivor can be confident of having is strength. And with an understanding of what it takes to heal, that strength leads directly to determination. “

I have never thought of it that way with regards to “already living through the hardest part-the abuse itself and having the strength to be set free.”

Lately, I am connecting a tad more emotionally to the actual abuse by my brother. I get glimpses and feel sensations. Unfortunately it is not the anger part towards him, but the actual abuse itself.