"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, August 10, 2009


In Part 1, along with ”Recognizing the Damage,” is the chapter on ”The Survival Skills For Healing.”

“Healing is demanding work. It disrupts your old ways of coping; brings up deep pain, fear, and grief; and requires that you make profound changes in your life. When you are in the throes of healing from child sexual abuse, it is especially important to be kind to yourself. Yet a common side effect of child sexual abuse is insensitivity to our own needs and a lack of awareness about self-care, so one of the first challenges we face in the healing process is the need to develop a new survival skill; how to nurture ourselves. “(The Courage To Heal)

The statement I am frequently confronted with is: “be gentle with myself.” Be gentle with myself when I am usually hard on myself. I can condemn myself something awful for something I had no control over. So, can I be gentle with myself when I make a mistake? Can I allow myself to be human and make a mistake and not feel bad about it? It is certainly hard. But, I am becoming more aware though when I do self-bash myself! I then try and thwart my thoughts and anger towards myself at that point and try and look at ‘me’ in a positive light that I am worthy and a Child of God.

“One way to begin is to take a gentle attitude toward the process of healing itself. Force doesn’t promote healing; it impedes it. It’s just as important to learn to relax, to laugh, to eat well, to sleep, and to enjoy everyday moments as it is to grapple with shame, to grieve, and to express outrage. You need quiet time for integration and gathering your strength. And of course, serenity is one of the goals of the healing process, a worthwhile prize in itself.

If you’re at the beginning of the healing process and your life is full of painful emotions, memories, and crises, the idea of pacing yourself, taking breaks, or healing over time may seem irrelevant. You feel terrible now and want the pain to go away. But healing from sexual abuse is not a short-term proposition. It’s a gradual process, rooted in small daily steps. You have to settle in for the long haul. You have to learn to live your life while you are healing.” (The Courage To Heal)

I like what the authors say that “force does not promote healing along.” Also, the key is to learn to live your life while you heal. My serenity part, besides meditating on God’s Word is, relaxing in the pool.

Although it may be difficult to do especially when you plainly just do not feel like it, but if you can bring relief/comfort to someone else’s needs for a moment and get your mind off of yourself and be able to connect with another person who is experiencing pain, you yourself can be uplifted from your own pain for a time being. This can be IRL, or as I see many of you via blogging, encouraging one another!

Naturally a good, skilled, compassionate “Christian” counselor is extremely important for support, encouragement, insight, ‘hope,’ and a safe environment to be the real you!

Taking small baby steps daily in my recovery is vital. One foot over the other and each day I get closer to my goal. Sure there will be days, and have been days, when I fall back and trip over my own baby steps. But, then I can brush off the dirt, regain my balance and move on again.


  1. one baby step over the other, goal reaching!! love these words. I know as a survivor, I know I have stumbled , tripped, fallen back, in my healing, and I have gotten back up and burshed of the dirt, and baby stepped and stepped, I sill am stepping. Having people you can relate to, or someone you can trust, and understand, during our path of healing is vital.

  2. Thank you Inky for sharing the truth. Blessings dear one...♥

  3. stuck-in-the-middleAugust 10, 2009

    Some good points JBR. Even I can find something to help me.

  4. Amen, baby steps sweetie, one day you will be running marathons. I love you.

  5. This was an excellent read. Its amazing what time can do and healing along side of it.

  6. Like the 'live while you heal part'. Healing does take time unfortunately. I wonder why God made us that way. We bandage a cut on our finger and work with the other hand. With emotional hurts, well, I guess we don't have other emotions to borrow for the day.

  7. Very insightful. A certain help in recovery to learn these steps. God Bless.

  8. onthewaynow-And many more steps to follow. Thank you for your comment!

    Madison-I too have questioned, why we cannot have an instant healing when we desire so much to change? But, yeah, who can argue with God? Thanks dear for commenting!

    Anonymous-Appreciate your comment.

    Denise-You are so very sweet. Appreciate your encouragement dear.

    stuck-Glad you were able to find something in here that can help you.

    Blessings and hugs to all.... ♥

  9. THIS is an outstanding book. and the advise spot on. realistic. prudent. carry on reading and healing.

  10. Loved how you ended your post. To have that courage to get back up again, regain your balance and move on...towards reaching your destination. Way to go! God bless.

  11. JBR~ I couldn't have said it better myself! I feel so bad when I welcome someone else's problems to set my own aside. It soothes me in a bizarre way but I also know that God uses it as a teachable moment.

    Our recovery cannot be forced. That is the biggest thing I'm learning as I work through the C2H book myself. I can read two or three pages and have to stop. I then find myself writing down 20 pages worth of feelings on just those few pages I've read! Healing takes time and is a process that each and every one of us will experience at different intervals and levels.

    Hugs to you!!

  12. Rhonda, Rcubes and Shadow, thank you all for your support and sharing. It is hard sometimes to dust off, and regain my strength. But, I find my strength is not in myself but the Lord. So He carries me where I cannot.

  13. Good stuff and hey be gentle with you. Sarah

  14. The pain of my past is such that even I don't want to look at it anymore. It's odd that it still governs my actions though. I know I'm not alone and truly it does take "courage" to heal. Have you or anyone who comments here ever felt "stuck" in the healing process?

  15. You're making great progress, JBR. Keep up the good work.

  16. AD, thank you for the encouragement and visit.
    OhSewGood, I certainly do understand "not" wanting to look at the past and our pain. We all go through our journey at different speeds. We all handle our recovery differently. If you feel you are at a standstill, maybe you need to regain your strength emotionally to go on to the next step. Unfortunately, the past/pain will not go away, until we can deal with it. Even then, somethings may always be with us, but we will be able to have a better handle of our life much better with the tools we learn.
    Sarah, you are too funny. Thank you dear.

  17. One step at a time!
    There is an award waiting for you at arise 2 write.
    Blessings, andrea

  18. You go for it, take those baby steps! This book seems that it is going to very helpful to you that makes me happy. Hope the work day goes alright.

  19. Thank you for your post. Needed to read those words today, "be gentle with myself." A little ways out and perhaps a little complacent when some triggers have come slamming me upside the head. It is easy to forget that these prinicples are not necessarily for a time, but a way to live life...as a process, being gentle with myself, relying on God... Thank you.

  20. Jaime, you are so right. These principles are a way of life. Good observation, thank you.

    Tabs, thank you for your kind words of encouragement.

    Andrea, thank you for your comment and award.

  21. Hey there JBR,
    Just wanted say how much I appreciate what you have to say. Such encouraging stuff.


  22. Daisy thank you for the visit and kind words.

  23. I think again the information you are learning about each day is a light being shone on the next step in the path of your recovery. Your journey isn't an easy one but isn't one you are taking alone.

    We are all here to love and support you along the way. Just keep moving forward one step at a time.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  24. Your kindness is so much appreciated Kat, thank you.

  25. Sometimes I need a reminder to stop leaping and take those baby steps. Thank you for that reminder! One thing I try to keep in mind is that as long as I have moments of calm and joy, it isn't over yet. Sometimes those moments may be fleeting, but they are still occurring.

  26. AnonymousJuly 01, 2012

    I know you are trying to help and it does....but next time try to write a bit more of yourself and not just of quotes and your feelings about it. You may think that because I am writing as anonymous I am afraid to say this as myself but i'm writing anonymous so no one can find out who I am and give me grief.... I have enough and now you think oo shes pulling the heart strings and I know why you would think that now listen to Kelly Clarkson Breakaway... You will love it I swear it makes you feel like anything is possiable.


    Anonymous Girl xoxoxoxoxoxo