"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Saturday, September 26, 2009


This post is a post of encouragement!

For all of us who are on our journey (not necessarily from sexual abuse, but any struggles you are going through), who have good days and bad days. Have our ups and downs. Have our insides and outsides disrupted.

This is an encouragement that the healing process, although very painful at times, will be worth it in the end! I hold on to that so tightly!!!!! I hold on to the fact that my God is All Mighty and Powerful and will see me through until the end!


In the book The Courage to Heal, the two writers, Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, share how they came about doing what they do today.

The book, like the workshops, is based on the premise that everyone wants to become whole, to fulfill their potential. Ellen Bass, who had compassion on abused women had started in the late 1970's workshops. Ellen later on became a counselor and facilitated workshops for partners of survivors and offered training seminars for professionals who work with survivors. She was never sexually abused as a child. Not like her co-writer Laura Davis who came from a background of incest.

Laura recounts a early telephone conversation between the two when Laura was just beginning to deal with her abuse:

I remember calling Ellen one day a few months after I’d first remembered the incest. I counted the rings-two, three, four-she had to be home! She had to be! Five, six, seven-if I didn’t talk to her right now, I knew I couldn’t last through the afternoon. Eight, nine, ten-well, maybe she was outside folding the laundry and was just slow getting to the phone. Eleven, twelve, thirteen-I cannot stand another moment of this pain. My heart hurts and I can’t take anymore. Fourteen, fifteen...

”Hello, this is Ellen,” she said, cheery and calm. “Ellen, this is Laura. Look, you’ve got to tell me just one thing. Will I ever get through this? Is there ever an end? I can’t take it anymore, and if you’ll just tell me I can get to the other side, I’m sure I can last through the week.” I was talking fast, my sentences piling up on each other.

“Hello, Laura. I’m glad you called.” Her voice was smooth, reassuring. “And yes, you can make it. Healing is possible. You’re already well on your way.”

“Well on my way? How can you say that? I can’t sleep, and when I do, it’s all I dream about. I can’t think about anything else. Every child I see on the street reminds me of incest. I can’t make love, I can’t eat, my whole body feels like a giant piece of rubber. I’m crying all the time. My whole life is flashbacks, going to therapy, and talking about incest. Half the time I don’t even believe it happened, and the other half I’m sure it was my fault.”

“It did happen, Laura. Look at what you’re going through. Would anyone willingly choose to go through this torture? Why would you ever want to invent something this bad? You were just a little girl, Laura. He was what-seventy years old? You were a victim. You were innocent. You didn’t do anything. It wasn’t your fault.”

Over and over, Ellen repeated those simple phrases:”It wasn’t your fault. I believe you. Healing is possible. You’re going to make it. You’re going to be okay.”

I expressed every doubt I could think of. Then I made up some new ones. I knew other survivors didn’t make up this sort of thing, but I was the exception. I’d always been the exception, all my life.

“You can fight it all you want, Laura,” she said finally, “but the door’s been opened, and you’re in the healing process whether you like it or not.”

There was a long silence. Then I said, “Isn’t there any way out?”

“The only way out is through, honey; I’m sorry.”

I was quiet for a long time. “But it hurts, Ellen. It hurts so much.”

“I know, Laura. I know. But there’s a way through this stuff, and I know you’re going to find it.”
(The Courage to Heal)

When I read their conversation, I cried. When I typed it here for my blog, I cried. When I proofread what I typed, I cried.

I could relate to Laura’s desperation and Ellen's compassion. And yet, she is a survivor and gives hope to many women and men out there!

Yes healing is possible!


  1. Sweet JBR, yes, healing is possible. There are times afterwards where I crumble like recently but it gets better. It was not your fault, you are innocent and yepp, the only way out is through to the light on the other end of the tunnel. You have adavnced so much since I came to yout blog first, JBR, you can be porud of yourself. Take gentle care. Love

  2. What is shared here will touch some hearts no doubt. The honesty and courage of all who go through such trials in of itself is brave and no less than a miracle.

  3. Brave, thoughtful, and.....beautiful! JBR, thanks.


  4. I love this post! It is hard to watch others struggle through, but it is so true. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I had to walk through. There are no short cuts. I wish there were.

    I pray that we, who have been through can help others by holding their hands along the way. :)

    Thanks JBR for sharing this post. It encouraged me.

  5. I do believe healing is possible. I am not there yet, but am on the journey. JBR thank you so much for sharing so much of this book and yourself.

  6. Wanda, I am not there either. We will walk this together dear one.
    Finally Free, glad this post has encouraged you. I quite agree with wishing there was a short cut through our healing.
    Stevie, thank you for your kind words.
    Anonymous, who-ever you are, thank you for your continued support and encouragement.
    Paula, thank you for sharing your heart dear.

  7. Prayer will also aid in your healing. Give your burdens and requests to God. Don't take them back. Having a desire to heal is very important. With God’s help you're able to heal. Remember Christ came specifically to heal the brokenhearted. God Bless.

  8. the only way out is through...i'm tired today...and achy from going "through". I wonder the same thing nearly every night...

    Thank you for the encouragement - that there is light at the end of this...
    You are so strong...

  9. This is the type of compassion we all need when trying to see through the fog to the light. I've been battling for almost 40 years to overcome. Most days are good but every now and then a bad one sneaks in. To have friends who will be patient with you no matter what your going through I believe is invaluable. Crying is as important as laughing. They both have their place in all of our lives. Both contribute to letting go, moving past and re-learning how to live. Hugs Friend. Tammy

  10. A Stitch, I am sorry for your struggles. I need to do more of the laughing part like I used to. Thanks dear.
    Gracie!! I know it is difficult for you dear, but so glad that you were encouraged. You too are strong, even though you may not believe it!!
    Onthewaynow, I hit my knees a lot these days. Thank you for your encouraging words.

  11. mmmmm... powerful words.
    My fellow survivors offer me hope as well. I've needed that support group around me that says "you're going to make it."
    We might not be there yet, but we are further along in our healing than we were yesterday. We ARE going to make it!!!
    Thank you for sharing the hope.

  12. Susan, glad you have that support indeed! Your statement holds true that we aer further along than yesterday and we are going to make it!

  13. Sometimes healing can feel overwhelming and be exhausting. When this happens, I find it is helpful to just try to do things that please me, slow down, rest, relax, take it easy. Even a little healthy escape is alright - like reading, watching movies, T.V., whatever.

    God bless you. God bless all of us.


  14. Believing it wasn't my fault took me awhile to realize.

    (((Hugs))) and much love to you.

  15. YaYa, thanks for your comment. A lot of us can relate to your statement. Blessings to you dear one.
    PG, yes God Bless Us All! Thank you for the advice dear.

  16. There is nothing impossible with the Lord. It is a difficult journey but He promised that He will be with those who believe. Blessings to you JBR!

  17. No, there is nothing impossible with the Lord Rcubes, amen to that!!

  18. I love you beautiful one, you are such a fighter for Jesus.

  19. Good post with encouraging outcome.

  20. Amen!!
    Praise be to God who gives us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord!! You are beautiful my sistah, inside and out, you have touched, and will continue to minister to the many lives of women who will come to your blog!!

    Hugz Lorie

  21. Great post. I can learn alot from. Peace and LOve.

  22. this is pure encouragement. thank you for posting this.

  23. We all seem to learn something threw our pain. God teaches us something if we are open to his leading and guidance. May you have a blessed day.

  24. Clothe yourself in the possible and make it reality.

  25. I cried too, JBR, because the only way out IS through. And sometimes it's HARD. But having you here, and writing, and being real, definitely helps xx Thank you

  26. I believe that you are that person for so many who have gone through the same. Sometimes we find healing by being there for others who have also suffered. Thank you for your blog!


    PS: I have left you an award on my blog. Thanks for being such a loyal friend!

  27. S.C. thank you for your kind words of encouragement and the award.
    Lil, I am so very sorry for your struggles dear one.
    WalkingMan, your words of encouragement are appreciated.
    Hethatsows, many things we can gain insight to through our struggles, thank you for sharing.
    Shadow, I am glad you were encouraged dear!
    Timmy, I appreciate your visit, thank you.
    Lorie, your words are too kind, thank you.
    Stawberry, thank you for your comment.
    Denise, appreciate you as always!

  28. I am glad you can see healing is possible and other people's experiences can help. I hope you are having a good day my friend.

  29. What a wonderful post. Thank you. I hope your day has some sunshine in it.

  30. amen amen amen..YES,, there IS healing...

  31. That's powerful! I was molested by a neighbor's teenage son when I was about 6 years old. You have a powerful ministry here...I pray God blesses you as you touch the lives of others. (((hugs))) Paula