HEALING IS POSSIBLE!

This post is a post of encouragement!

For all of us who are on our journey (not necessarily from sexual abuse, but any struggles you are going through), who have good days and bad days. Have our ups and downs. Have our insides and outsides disrupted.

This is an encouragement that the healing process, although very painful at times, will be worth it in the end! I hold on to that so tightly!!!!! I hold on to the fact that my God is All Mighty and Powerful and will see me through until the end!

So.........

In the book The Courage to Heal, the two writers, Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, share how they came about doing what they do today.

The book, like the workshops, is based on the premise that everyone wants to become whole, to fulfill their potential. Ellen Bass, who had compassion on abused women had started in the late 1970's workshops. Ellen later on became a counselor and facilitated workshops for partners of survivors and offered training seminars for professionals who work with survivors. She was never sexually abused as a child. Not like her co-writer Laura Davis who came from a background of incest.

Laura recounts a early telephone conversation between the two when Laura was just beginning to deal with her abuse:

I remember calling Ellen one day a few months after I’d first remembered the incest. I counted the rings-two, three, four-she had to be home! She had to be! Five, six, seven-if I didn’t talk to her right now, I knew I couldn’t last through the afternoon. Eight, nine, ten-well, maybe she was outside folding the laundry and was just slow getting to the phone. Eleven, twelve, thirteen-I cannot stand another moment of this pain. My heart hurts and I can’t take anymore. Fourteen, fifteen...

”Hello, this is Ellen,” she said, cheery and calm. “Ellen, this is Laura. Look, you’ve got to tell me just one thing. Will I ever get through this? Is there ever an end? I can’t take it anymore, and if you’ll just tell me I can get to the other side, I’m sure I can last through the week.” I was talking fast, my sentences piling up on each other.

“Hello, Laura. I’m glad you called.” Her voice was smooth, reassuring. “And yes, you can make it. Healing is possible. You’re already well on your way.”

“Well on my way? How can you say that? I can’t sleep, and when I do, it’s all I dream about. I can’t think about anything else. Every child I see on the street reminds me of incest. I can’t make love, I can’t eat, my whole body feels like a giant piece of rubber. I’m crying all the time. My whole life is flashbacks, going to therapy, and talking about incest. Half the time I don’t even believe it happened, and the other half I’m sure it was my fault.”

“It did happen, Laura. Look at what you’re going through. Would anyone willingly choose to go through this torture? Why would you ever want to invent something this bad? You were just a little girl, Laura. He was what-seventy years old? You were a victim. You were innocent. You didn’t do anything. It wasn’t your fault.”

Over and over, Ellen repeated those simple phrases:”It wasn’t your fault. I believe you. Healing is possible. You’re going to make it. You’re going to be okay.”

I expressed every doubt I could think of. Then I made up some new ones. I knew other survivors didn’t make up this sort of thing, but I was the exception. I’d always been the exception, all my life.

“You can fight it all you want, Laura,” she said finally, “but the door’s been opened, and you’re in the healing process whether you like it or not.”

There was a long silence. Then I said, “Isn’t there any way out?”

“The only way out is through, honey; I’m sorry.”

I was quiet for a long time. “But it hurts, Ellen. It hurts so much.”

“I know, Laura. I know. But there’s a way through this stuff, and I know you’re going to find it.” (The Courage to Heal)

When I read their conversation, I cried. When I typed it here for my blog, I cried. When I proofread what I typed, I cried.

I could relate to Laura’s desperation and Ellen's compassion. And yet, she is a survivor and gives hope to many women and men out there!

Yes healing is possible!