These stories I share about my mum are true. My mum continues to let fear be her god. Even though she believes in God, many things she continues to be irrational about.
This week, without fail, there were a few irrational incidents from my “worried mother” that she tried to get me to come along with her in fear.
I am not deliberately making light of my mother's irrational fears. I recognize now these fears she has have controlled her all her life and I unfortunately was brought up on them also.
Again, not to make light of her fears, but, some of the things she says now are just too funny and ridiculous.
From this past week of "irrational fears," I chose to share this one frantic topic of hers that keeps on reoccurring, “the electric bill.”
Yes, we all know that the electric company is raising the rates. Okay we understand that. The rate hike will be reflected in your bill. Well, my mum cannot understand why her electric bill has jumped so high. We rehash this issue over and over again, me reiterating that her bill, my bill, everyone’s bill is higher! Now comes the fun part......
Mum says, and has said to me in the past, “you need to unplug everything in your home.” I told her I would not do this. I am not worried about a few dollars and it is futile as a lot of electrical items do not use up that much juice. Then she goes off on me and hints for me to come over and “we” would go over what needs to be unplugged in her apartment. I said, ‘no.’ We have been down this road so many times before. “Turn the lights off, turn up the a/c, you do not need me to do this." I told her, "if you want to unplug something, pull it out of the socket, you do not need me to do this." "You do not have anything in your apartment that uses so much electric to unplug anyway." She insists she does. So, at this point I let it be. Let her worry. Not me!
This post may seem trivial to you, but if you heard the intensity of the fear in my mum's voice when she tells me these things, you would know 'there is something wrong here," which I am so grateful now to be able to see this, and have a choice to not be dragged into the fears!
My mother was also a worrier extraordinaire. I probably wouldn't put her up against your mom, but she could worry with the best of 'em.
ReplyDeleteI learned all her fears. I used to be totally full of fear. This has gotten better over the years. My growing relationship with God, prayers, many other things learned in recovery have reduced my fears.
Mom is gone now and she has no more fear.
PG
Sweetie, you have the right attitude about this.
ReplyDeleteYou've got the right attitude. Fear can cripple you.
ReplyDeleteGood to know that if something does not help and now you know that it even ends up hurting you, you know how to put the boundary at the right place, at the right time. Blessings to you JBR.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you don't dive in with her. She is surely blessed if all that's on her heart is the electric bill. Although, I have to say my bill just went up so much that it might get me to worrying too. It's difficult to be around people paralyzed by lots of fears.
ReplyDeleteHow sad to live in fear all the time. I used to be full of fears. The old "child of an alcoholic, manic depressive parent" thing. Most of my fears had no basis in reality, they were somebody else's fears. It is good to set boundaries. I refuse to live in fear, nor does the Lord want me to.
ReplyDeleteWow. Is your mother compulsive and obsessive? As in OCD, or OCP. She may be truly suffering while making you nuts in the process. I used to have a friend like your mother. She often called me up and out of the blue would go off on something she had been obsessing about for days. The reason she would call me is that she had finally come to a conclusion about how to fix it, prevent it, undo it, out smart it, what ever. Does your mother see her behavior as an issue needing help?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for you to have to go thru this and sorry for her, as well.
Well done on recognising this JBR, and not buying into her fears.
ReplyDeleteOuch! I came back to read this a second time. I could feel it touching a tender spot in me. It was the electricity thing. When I walk into my house I instantly turn most of the lights on. I know it's wasteful but I do it anyway.When I was a child, I would come home from school and my house would be pitch black. My father would have every shade in the house pulled down and we lived in his darkness. My mother came home one day and said,"Enough! I've had it!! Children need light!!!" She ripped through the house and pulled up every shade all the way to the top. Light streamed in. Meanwhile, my dad was following her yelling,"Stop! It helps keep the house warmer if you keep them down." After that my mother made sure the shades were not pulled down during the day and we no longer lived in a funeral home. I don't think pulling the shades down was to save money on heat, rather it was a sign of his inner darkness. Sorry this comment is so long, it just poured out.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the replies you have on this. Fear is very crippling. It is good to set boundaries.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a good week JBR! :)
Our parents really do pass on their fears to us, even without our knowing it.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching my father's paranoia controlling so much of his life, and vowing to never be subject to such fears.
Yet when I received counseling many years later, very deep, powerful fears were unearthed that were subconsciously received from him or taught by him. Getting set free from those fears was quite a task.
God bless :)