"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Sunday, September 06, 2009



Even though I do not suffer from SI, I know a few of my blogger friends do, so I want to share this portion of the book with you in hopes for your recovery in this area:

“Many survivors have hurt themselves physically-carving into their bodies with knives, burning themselves with cigarettes, or repeatedly harming themselves. It is natural that survivors struggle with self-injury. As children they were indoctrinated to abuse, and now they continue the pattern themselves, never having known other choices.

Self-injury provides an intense feeling of relief and release. It is also an attempt at control, a type of punishment, a means of expressing anger, and a way to re-create the abusive situation, producing a familiar result.

One woman suffered from severe nighttime attacks of terror and vaginal pain. When she could stand it no longer, she would insert objects into her vagina, causing herself pain. Immediately afterward, she would feel relief and fall asleep.

At first glance this might seem incomprehensible, but like other coping mechanisms, it had its own intrinsic logic. When this woman was a child, she went to bed every night terrified that this would be one of the nights when her father would abuse her. She would lie sleepless until he did come in-and torture her by putting objects in her vagina or by burning her. Only after he had left could she sleep, knowing that her agony was over for that night.

This woman had no explanation for her actions. She only knew that after the pain came relief and sleep, states of being she was able to achieve no other way. Once she began to understand the connection to her childhood abuse, she took the first steps in stopping this self-destructive compulsion.

Self-injury is not always obvious. One survivor hid it under the guise of accidents.

Self-injury can be a source of great shame and humiliation, but it is important to talk about it because, like child abuse, it grows worse in a climate of secrecy.

To stop harming yourself you need to get help. A skilled counselor can provide essential support. It’s no longer necessary to hurt yourself. You deserve kindness both from others and from yourself:

To keep from cutting myself, I write affirmations. I do it right on my wrist. I’ll write things like, “I love myself,” “I will not hurt myself,” “I am good,” “It’s okay to be in pain. It’s okay to say it.” There was a while I’d change it every day. And then I tell people about what I want to do, I tell my group members. I tell my therapist.

One survivor went so far as to write loving messages all over her body. As a child she had carved “help” into her arm. Now, wanting to make peace with her body, she gently wrote love notes to all her body parts.

Once you decide that hurting yourself is no longer an option, you need to find healthier ways to gain that feeling of release. Stopping a pattern of self-injury requires that you express feelings directly in a safe way. If you are angry, refocus your anger where it belongs-at the person or people who abused you. If you hurt yourself when you’re scared, practice responding to feelings of fear in a different way.” (The Courage to Heal)


  1. "Cutting" is not the only way we can hurt ourselves. Neglecting basic self care such as personal hygeine, compulsive overeating are ways we can SI as you will read later. I unfortunately have experienced these forms of lack of self care! As I progress the desire to take better care of my physical self is ever so present!

  2. Bless you for sharing this. I became a cutter after my momma passed away in 2006, praise God for bringing me through it. I love you my friend.

  3. Someone very close to me was a cutter when they were a child. Her parents put her in a youth detention center. She stopped cutting but I'm not convinced she stopped hurting.

  4. I'm so sorry. It's really sad to know that people are driven to self-injury by the cruelty of others. I had pupils who did that, but to tell you the truth I never deeply understood why. It's good to know - to know in the future how to deal with it.

  5. for years I struggled with cutting and biting myself. For me, it was a way to force myself to be strong, to not be afraid, and to calm the growing tension inside.

  6. self injury is not only cutting. how about deliberately boycotting yourself, setting yourself up to loose, loosing yourself in another... there are many, many different ways...

  7. Thank you all for your different views. I do know that there are many other avenues to SI, but cutting seems to get more attention. This is good that you all bring up other points!

  8. Hi JBR,
    Thanks for writing this. It has helped me understand SI better.

  9. Thank you for printing this. This is all too common.More so than most people realize. My best friends daughter was raped while in her early teens and she is a cutter. She also has had numerous suicide attempts. Her mother takes her to counseling but the cutting continues. I am going to send her to your site. Maybe it will help her understand what her daughter is going through.

  10. Thank you for this info, JBR.

  11. Omigosh I never heard of this.... but you did explain it very well. They expected the ABUSE and so after it was done they could rest.. before it is done they are all shaking and scared of the possible event.

    So sad........ to continue the abuse that way; but it does make sense.

    You are really educating people with your blog.. I do hope that there is more self-awareness and education and abuse against children is stopped .

  12. Wellmeaning article. Shines a light on alot of things .

  13. JBR- ya know, it's weird, we also can hurt our self by actions without touch or feel and can put the blame elsewhere. I think many do this. Interesting stuff. ~rick

  14. JBR,

    This is a great post to share. Too many teens are experiencing this very thing and too often is isn't that they are receiving abuse in a sexual or criminal nature but aren't receiving any kind of attention from their parents at all. Like they are a burden on their home. I know too many teens that I talk to even now that this is the prevalent reason for cutting. Even negative attention to these kids is what they are seeking in their lives as a form of replacement for positive attention from their parents! It is too sad!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  15. I struggle with SI and have for many years. It is hidden where it can not be seen, because after the relief it brings me shame. God has helped me do it less, but I wish I didn't cut.

  16. "To keep from cutting myself, I write affirmations. I do it right on my wrist. I’ll write things like, “I love myself,” “I will not hurt myself,” “I am good,”

    It doesn't work for me because I do not believe these things about myself.