"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, November 19, 2009


These past few days I have struggled with feeling physically weak.

As tired as I have been lately after work, I felt the need to go to my condo’s swimming pool and swim/relax. Since the time change, it gets dark really quickly. Which I love. Anyway, these past couple of days I have cherished my evening swims. No one is in the pool. (I feel at peace about this. Hey, if the Lord is gonna take me, I cannot fight it one way or the other) I am alone with my God!

What I have discovered in these evening swims, as I float on my back the length of the pool and look up to the heavens, is the peace that over takes me. The Holy Spirit has come upon me in a unique way during this time. How awesome is that? I forget my physical pain. I forget my emotional pain. I am just there being me. No worries. No stress. No nothing. My thoughts are floating....

Last night, as I gazed up at the stars, I am constantly reminded that there is a God that wants SOOOOOO much a "full-blown out" intimate relationship with me!!! I may have the "blown-out" part, but not the "full."

I DESIRE SO MUCH TO BE SO CLOSE TO MY SAVIOR, embracing Him in a 'death grip' never to let go!!! NEVER! To trust Him completely. To give Him all of my fears. To let Him gently heal the broken areas of my life. To let Him take me through the next step(s) of my journey. To show me He is right beside me 24/7 never taking His eye off of me as I go deeper into my pain. To tell me that, "everything will be okay, do not resist, I am always here, I care, I will embrace you, and I love you!"


  1. stuck-in-the-middleNovember 19, 2009

    I can imagine the peacefullness you're experiencing these nights JBR.

  2. Define what you think is missing from your relationship with God then look and see if it is in fact missing. Seems to me from reading your words these past months there is not much missing but rather something added...subtract the doubt and then see where your spirit is floating.

  3. Desiring to be intimate with God is the prize many do not even achive. Keep pressing on. God Bless.

  4. wow, such lovely thought you have here...

  5. What does true intimacy with God really look and feel like? If you really want to know then you have to cultivate a relationship with Him not only as God the Father, but God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. You must spend time with them all just as you do any other person. The problem is that we don’t relate to God as a person … and unless you begin to see Him that way and not some unreachable deity then you never will have an intimate relationship
    with Him.

  6. JBR,

    What a great moment to spend some time in tranquil solitude floating in a pool communing with God. Use this time to relax and allow God to refresh you. It's your time!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  7. What a wonderful self caring thing to do for yourself and a great place to feel God.

  8. Keep on swimming in the restful pool with Jesus.