This is so very true:
“Healing is not about eternal struggle, the kind where you push the boulder up the hill, only to have it roll back down on top of you. There is a point when you will stop feeling like a victim, either of the abuse or of healing itself.
Recently Ellen (one of the authors of Courage to Heal) was talking to a young woman who has been in therapy for the past two years, actively working on her healing. Because the work was so demanding, she cut back on many other activities early in the process in order to devote her full energies to healing. Gradually, as she became able to handle both the healing work and more commitments, she added school, a part time job, and a lover to her life.
Now this woman had the opportunity to move to another city, join her lover there, and enter a school program that she very much wanted to be in. “But,” she said to Ellen, “I think maybe I should wait until I’m all better. I’m not finished with therapy. How healed do I have to be to do what I want?”
Ellen laughed and told her to go. Part of healing is doing what you want to do, those things that will give you both fulfillment and pleasure. You don’t have to wait.” (The Courage to Heal)
So very true. We don't struggle just for the sake of struggling... we struggle so that we can reach freedom.
ReplyDeleteThis is right on the money. The goal is to get well. HOwever long it takes. Good post.
ReplyDeleteJBR, after a hard week in thetrapy it was just what I needed to hear! That is so true, one wants to spread the wings - time to fly. Have a great weekend. Hugs from Germany
ReplyDeleteAmen, very true.
ReplyDeleteI agree! Do what you can when you can AS you heal! Just have to tell you how much your blog inspires me. It has helped me in my healing too... I relate to so much!
ReplyDeletebeuatiful blog. very inspirational and a must for learning and developing. did a google search on you and came up with your blog. glad i did. happy returns.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good thought for the day. (Saw my own therapist yesterday and up came a lot of issues.) Healing is a process, isn't it? It allows us to enjoy and participate more as we go along. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever "get there." But life is a journey, not a destination. I follow you because you ARE real. Come see me sometime.
ReplyDeleteInteresting question. I think healing is an ongoing process, it is never over. Those who see a therapist were there because they needed more critical help, but the rest of us are also in need of healing. We struggle with it sometimes not knowing where to go for help... the church,friends, family... and now our blogger friends, hoping to find answers.
ReplyDeleteAmen! Often we deny ourselves what we really want, because we think we're not ready. But doing what makes us happy could just be what we need to help the healing! Thanks for the reminder! ;)
ReplyDeleteHey JBR, simply spot on. We don't have to wait until completely healed before we can get on with life.
ReplyDeleteAfter I received counseling for about six months from a lovely Christian lady who had previously recovered from depression, she told me it was time to stop 'hiding behind Jesus legs' like a small child, and get back out there.
I was still suffering from severe depression, but had improved so significantly in recent weeks that my counselor recommended I join a new cell group and get back into being a church muso. I did exactly as she suggested and made a whole bunch of new friends, also joined a new church, and began teaching Sunday School again too. The fellowship and productive activity all assisted me to enjoy life more, and also sped up the healing too.
very true...the rest of your 'life' doesn't stop while you travel down this trecherous road....
ReplyDeleteThis blog reminds me of some of my friends when they try to solve their problems--mostly due to their failing relationships. They go to clubs, drink, pass out, get hung over, work with irritation in the morning because of said hang over and repeat the process all over again. They never allow themselves to heal properly, no matter how we try to get them to it, and it bugged me until I have come up with something. Healing doesn't just take someone to put a band-aid over a wound and pray that it just go away. In healing, you know you have to find out what the source of the wound is so it can be avoided in the future, and that is what they want to avoid. They are afraid to find out that part of the reason of the break-up stems from their own weaknesses and they can't accept that yet.
ReplyDeleteI hope more women get to see the light of day where they realize that healing also deals with pain. As Mitch Albom says, feel all the pain you can feel, understand it and let it overwhelm you so the next time it happens, you won't feel that much pain anymore and you know how to handle it already.
-Faey